


It's Yoo

by Itsyoo618



Series: Yoo and Son [1]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:08:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 41,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25436695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Itsyoo618/pseuds/Itsyoo618
Summary: Hyunwoo and Kihyun was in a relationship for years. Perfect couple, stable relationship, they complete each other, you can named it. Everybody who knew would love to have what they have. But, sometimes what we thought forever still have some flaws.
Relationships: Chae Hyungwon/Lee Minhyuk, Im Changkyun | I.M/Lee Hoseok | Wonho, Son Hyunwoo | Shownu/Yoo Kihyun
Series: Yoo and Son [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1842433
Comments: 67
Kudos: 71





	1. 2018

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, all.. this is my first AU ever, so please bear with me. English was not my first language, I'm sorry in advance for the grammatical error. The plot was in my head for a quite some time now. Hope you enjoy this. Happy reading.. ^^

It was almost midnight when Yoo Kihyun arrived at his apartment. He parked his car on the basement parking and walking slowly to the elevator. After he pushed the button, the elevator moving up to the highest level of the building. He leaned on the elevator wall and closed his eyes for a moment. It was a long day for him. He was so exhausted from his works. Being the youngest director of the SM Entertainment, one of the largest conglomeration company of South Korea sure be quite challenging. It’s not only because his young age, but also because of other senior directors still doubted his directing skill since he was not a management or business graduate, even after he consistently showed a good performance directing his team. SME was not a playground, more like a battle ground for him. He knew he needed to work his ass off. No rest for the wicked, they said. If he might say, how he selected as a director was the fruit of his hard work. He didn’t get it easy. While he was doing his acting and singing schedules, he also worked for the company from the bottom. 

He was once worked in design department. He would stay up late, go around the world, and do business with so many famous people. One of many reasons why he spoke English well. He was eager to learn, excel it and loved his job much it helped him to up his rank in a short period of time. In 2012, for his 20th birthday gift, he was chosen by the CEO himself as a Director in Performance Departement. His duty was monitoring and evaluating performance of their newer artists, such as EXO, Red Velvet and NCT.

Long before he was chosen as a director, he started his career as an actor debuted in 2010 under the SME, then years later he debuted again as a solo singer. Being a perfectionist and aimed for excellence, he applied for acting major. He wanted to explore more than just how to act well. He did amazing and graduated as an honorary student of his university. The study helped him improving his acting skill. His other profession as a singer got him recognized as a multitalented artist. He released several albums and OSTs that stayed on the charts for weeks. He gained so many fans, praised by well known directors and got so many awards rewarding his acting and singing performance. 

The ding sound of the elevator made him open his eyes. He walked to room 2609, the room he proudly called his home from the year 2016. He bought it himself celebrating his 5 year debut anniversary. A gift from himself because he worked so hard and pushed his own limits. It was two storey apartement in the luxury apartement complex in Gangnam. It had a modern kitchen, to fulfill his cooking passion, where he spent so many of his free time trying new recipes from the internet. Next to it was the living room, a huge one with large glass window to look at the Han river, a chandelior hanging from the high ceiling and a set of leather couch and a wooden coffee table set in the middle. He loved to keep it simple and cozy. 

Near the living room was his work space. He had a room to accommodate a conference meeting from other branch or an urgent weekend meeting when he was at home. Connected by a door to his room was a mini library. The shelves were almost full of books for both English and Korean. He read everything from economic, history and novels in his spare time. It would never hurt to expand our knowledge. 

Outside the room, under the staircase was placed a beautiful white piano. Kihyun played it well. If the piano were a human, it could tell anyone what Kihyun mood at the moment. He would play it when he was sad, exciting, nervous, and especially when he was in love. He would bring out the sweetest sound it could make. Going upstairs, it had 3 more rooms. One was a guest room, the other one was his own master bedroom. His own bedroom was decorated in so many wood elements and simple design for his liking. His closet was filled by new arrival items he personally bought or sponsored by high end fashion brands. Oh. And his second favourite of his house was his bathroom. It had a bathtub next to a window where he could watch the Han river from other side of what his living room provided. Bathing was always fun. He collected bathbombs and scent oils to used in the tub. His favourite scent so far was sandalwood. Oh well. He did love wood and everything that came with it.

The last room, the most favourite part of his house was WithYoo’s Room. His fans are called WithYoo. The room itself was dedicated to them. It was full of his fans’ letters from the beginning of his carreer. He stated that he would only received letters and refused any gifts given by his fans. He said it better to donated for the people needed instead of giving him gifts. He found the letters endearing for him. They could easily put him in a much better mood.  
Reaching in front of his door, he pressed the password, pushed the door open, and walking inside his apartment. Collecting his shoes in its compartment, he strolled to the living room. He found a man sitting on a sofa while watching a news section.

“Oh, you’re here, Hyung.” Dropped his bag and coat on the cofee table, Kihyun slooped down the sofa and hugged the man on his waist.  
The said man, Hyunwoo, hummed for confirmation, circled his arms on Kihyun’s shoulder and kissed his temple while his eyes still on the television.  
“It’s midnight already. Why did you come so late?” Hyunwoo asked. His hand was stroking Kihyun’s hair.  
Kihyun closed his eyes once again, feeling soft strokes on his hair. it soothed him. “There will be a BOD meeting tomorrow. I need to make sure everything’s good”, he replied.  
“You’ll do great. Don’t worry much.”  
“I know”, Kihyun lips curled up. Hyunwoo laughed lowly.

“Have you eaten dinner?” Hyunwoo asked again.  
“I had sandwich earlier. Mr. Jung brought me one. He always make sure I never skip my meal.”  
“Hmm..” Hyunwoo hummed again signing his approval of Mr. Jung, Kihyun’s secretary.  
“How’s your comeback preparation, Hyung? It’s scheduled in couple of weeks, isn’t it?” this time Kihyun asked. He lifted his chin up for a bit, nuzzling his head in the crook of Hyunwoo’s neck.  
Son Hyunwoo or Shownu, is the leader of 4-member group, Monsta, debuted in 2015. The members are Lee Hoseok or Wonho, Lee Jooheon and Im Changkyun aka IM. They were on of the most productive idols. They barely had any sleep for the sake of their Monbaby, their fans. They consecutively released albums, hold fanmeetings, did so many concerts in and outside the country, then back to prepared another albums.  
“Yep. It’s almost done. There are minor changes in some songs. We need to re-record some part of them. The choreo is harder this time. We need more practice to smooth our moves.” Hyunwoo replied. Kihyun nodded his head and snuggling closer to Hyunwoo. How he loved this feeling. It was warm and safe. He was listening to Hyunwoo’s heartbeat. He felt so much at ease. It was far different from the hustling throughout his day. The silence is very comforting. They stayed like that for some time until Hyunwoo speaked.

“Ki, can we talk?” Hyunwoo nudged Kihyun’s shoulder, signaling him to sit properly.  
“Sure, Hyung.” Kihyun took his hands from Hyunwoo’s waist and straigthenned his back. He bend his legs, took them up on the sofa and turned to Hyunwoo giving his full attention.  
Hyunwoo took his hands placed on his thighs. He looked at their hands together for a minute. Kihyun glanced at him but not saying a word. He was waiting for the older to speak.  
Hyunwoo was still looking down, he sighed. The next he did was looking up, searching for a pair of beautiful almond eyes before him. He saw his reflection in them. He inhaled a sharp breath. Carefully, he said the words, almost like a whisper, “Let’s break up”  
That’s it. He said the words.  
He pressed his grip harder on the younger hands, looking down at them again and then closed his eyes. He was waiting for Kihyun to answer it. He was so scared, his heart beat too fast for him liking and Kihyun silence was not helping. It was frustrating but he was too afraid to ask again.

“I thought you’ll never say it, Hyung. It took you days to have the courage to do so”, Kihyun finally answered him slowly. He retreated his hands on Hyunwoo’s grip. He sighed deeply, then looked everywhere but the older eyes. Later when he was brave enough to saw the older, he was welcomed with a shocking look from Hyunwoo. Kihyun nodded and smiled sadly, “It’s okay.”  
Hyunwoo lost his words. His mind went blank the time Kihyun answered. He was so confused. He thought of so many possibilities of how Kihyun would react but not this one. Kihyun supposed to be furious, wasn’t he? His boyfriend wanted to break up with him. But, what was this reaction? 

“I’ll be okay. Promise me you’ll do good as well, Hyung. “ Kihyun continued as Hyunwoo still couldn’t find any words to say.  
“Good luck for you comeback, and please give my regards to the boys.” Kihyun tapped his shoulder lightly.  
“Thank you for everything, Hyung.” Hyunwoo listened to each words while silently looked at the younger. His eyes were so sad. It pained him to see his Kihyun like that. But, his decision was final. He wouldn’t back up.  
“Hyung? I.. Hmm.. It’s been a long day for me. You can stay here as long as you want. I don’t mind. But, I need to sleep now. I should get up early. Take care.” Kihyun said weakly and forced a smile that never reached his eyes. Without waiting for Hyunwoo to say anything, he got up gathering his things and went to his room upstairs.


	2. The Twin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Do Kyungsoo” Kihyun stared at Kyungsoo and raised his eyebrows.  
> “Yoo Kihyun” Kyungsoo stared him back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A new character.. enjoy! ^^

“Lunch, Director Yoo?” someone peaked his head through Kihyun’s office and offered lunch together.  
Kihyun was too engaged in reading artists’ performance reports to hear the him. “Kihyun-ah? Knock knock..” he said again.  
Jolted from his chair, he looked at the man at his door. “Oh, Kyungsoo ya. Hey. Wait a second.” He motioned Kyungsoo to sit on the chair in front of him with his chin. Kyungsoo followed and sit silently. He swayed the pendulum Kihyun had on his desk while waiting the other finishing his paper, eyeing its move left and right.   
“Mr. Jung, please come inside.”, Kihyun spoke to his secretary through the intercom. His secretary answered immediately then walked inside the room.  
“I have reviewed few of these. Please take this one to Manager Lee. It should be revised prior to our discussion at the meeting earlier. This one to the Finance Department, please. Director Park should be in charge of this. And please take these to Manager Kim. There were major miscalculations in the score of the performances. He needs to double check the weighted score of each criteria and the overall score. We need this to be done before 3 PM, recheck it again and then the result should be sent to each artists’ individual monthly evaluation before 5 PM. There will be another meeting tomorrow. Please prepare for our presentation including the result of our meetings with Director Jung.” Kihyun spoke in a deliberate pace so Mr. Jung could have his time taking note of each order. “Yes, Sir” he replied shortly and excused himself out of the room.  
“Done?” Kyungsoo looked at him.  
“Yes.” Kihyun simply answered while arranging his files neatly on his desk.  
“What do you want for lunch?”  
“Any suggestion?” Kihyun asked him back.  
“Hmm. I do want something in mind. I want you to come with me, actually. But I don’t know. Can I have you for like 2 hours?”  
Kihyun eyed him. “Never have I thought you’ll come to me taking me on a date in daylight. So, pasta? The answer will be, Yes please. I need my daily dose of carbonara.” Kihyun smiled at him, gathering his things and got up from his chair.  
“Lovely. I’ll be your gentleman today, Kihyun-ah” Kyungsoo replied him with a grinned and opened the door for the younger.

Do Kyungsoo, one of EXO’s main vocalists, was a longtime friend Kihyun had. It’s been 10 years since their first meeting back in junior high school. They had the same vocal trainer who paired them to cover one of a Fly to the Sky song. At that time, Kihyun was already one of the SME trainee, he was dreaming of becoming a member of idol group inspired by his senior, UKnow of TVXQ. Kyungsoo apparently, was unsure about being a singer although he himself loved singing, one of many reasons why he didn’t take any audition.   
Since the project, they were like pair of twins. They went everywhere together, did almost everything together. They couldn’t be separated. And eventhough Kyungsoo older from him, Kihyun always called him by name. Never added hyung when it was only themselves. Of course, when they went to a talkshow or having an interview, he would added hyung for honorific. Years later, Kyungsoo also went to Kihyun company after he decided to try himself in the same industry. 

“Aren’t you busy with the comeback, Kyungsoo ya?” Kihyun asked after they ordered their usual menu at their favourite pasta restaurant. They rarely changed their menu. It was always a caesar salad and garlic breads for starters. Kyungsoo with lasagna, Kihyun ordered fettucini carbonara and a classic pepperoni pizza for their mains. Desserts are chocolate lava cake with vanilla ice cream for both of them. They ordered english breakfast tea for the beverage. Classic, yes. They would always call pasta as their comfort food. Much needed for the day after the hurricane, Kihyun thought.  
“I am.”  
“The recording? Dance rehearsal? The photoshoot? MV shooting? Done already?”  
“Nope.”  
“What are we doing here then? Is it okay?”  
“I don’t know” Kyungsoo shrugged.  
“Do Kyungsoo” Kihyun stared at Kyungsoo and raised his eyebrows.  
“Yoo Kihyun” Kyungsoo stared him back.  
“We’re at it again.” Kihyun rolled his eyes. Kyungsoo laughed at him.  
“Why so serious, Director Yoo?” Kyungsoo grinned.   
“Don’t Director Yoo at me. Come on. Cut the crap already.”   
“Did you hear yourself? You’re still Director Yoo for me. Drop it to my Ki, please” Kyungsoo gave his widest smile.  
The conversation got cut by the waiter sending them their beverages. They muttered a thank you for delivering it.

Kihyun sighed. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to sound like that”  
“Hmm.. It’s all good, Ki”  
“Okay then. This is your Ki speaking. So, spill my dear sissy. What made you need pasta in this one beautiful sunny day in the middle of the week?” Kihyun asked while stirring the spoon in his tea.  
“Let me think..” Kyungsoo looked up, pretending to remember about what he wanted to say.  
“Don’t drag it any longer, Soo. I can only give you my precious 2 hours today” Kihyun gave a glare at him. Kyungsoo still in his grinned face but then he sipped his tea carefully.   
Later on, Kyungsoo added, “You should be the one who thank me, Ki. You do have to. These couple of hours actually are not for me. I’m doing it for you.” Kyungsoo saw the man before him. Waiting for any response he gave to him.   
But Kihyun got confused instead and tilting his head to the side, “I don’t get it”  
Kyungsoo massaged his temple “You.. I can’t believe I got the news from Hyunwoo first, not you”

“Ah.. That.” He stopped his words then turn his head to looked outside the window. “You know. It’s a hell busy week. I need to be present as Director Yoo. My team needs it the most. There are a lot of things going on right now, proposals, meetings, deadlines, and I can’t make Mr. Jung to handle them all. I need to hold it for myself at the moment. Speaking to you means I won’t be able to do anything and only bawling my eyes out, okay? I can’t do that now, Soo. You know it better” Kihyun looked at his friend, trying to make him understand.  
“I do”, Kyungsoo paused for a moment. “It’s just.. Why?”  
“What why?”  
“Why did you give him up?”  
“I didn’t. I just let him go”  
Kyungsoo started to speak carefully, “You.. I don’t know the difference, actually. Why didn’t you try to stop him? Just.. Hyunwoo told me you didn’t hold him back. Let him go just like that. I don’t get it, Ki. He’s been what, 8 years?”  
“No, it's been 9 years” Kihyun corrected him.  
“Shit, Ki. He’s been with you for 9 years. Call it soulmate or anything, you’re practically married to him for us who knew. You’ve been together through the hell or whatever it was for one third of your life. He’s your first everything, wasn’t he? And for you to accept it easily, doesn’t make any sense for me even the slightest bit. Why?” Kyungsoo said in whisper, not wanting anyone to hear their conversation.  
“Huh. It’s new. You never ask why I did something for a long time”  
“Because I know you too well, Ki. Too damn well. I can second guess anything you did. I don’t need you to tell me why. But, this time I don’t know you.” Kyungsoo furrowed his brows.   
Kihyun stopped playing with his cup, then looking at Kyungsoo. “I just felt like it.”  
“Elaborate.” Kyungsoo fold both of his hands in his chest. 

Kihyun corrected his seating position and then slowly said “These few weeks I felt something changed. I couldn’t find out what it was at first. But I was so sure that something was out of the place. Then I knew that the something was us. Uh.. How can I explain it? The time we shared was not that lively, our words became too.. formal? I guess? It’s like we’ve been asked to act as a couple in a play. I tried to make it better, trust me I did. Our cooking date has always been my way to make up with him. Everybody knows that It’s not that hard to bribe him with food” Kihyun smiled.  
“It was great that night. I thought oh yeah, we would back to normal. Then, well. Yesterday, he said the words. He’s never.. We’ve never once said to call it off, because we promised not to say anything we didn’t mean. Threathenning with breaking up was never an option. So, when he told me that, I know he meant it. Call me crazy, but yeah, I chose to let him go.”  
The waiter came to place their foods on the table except the desserts. They held the story for a moment to prepared the utensils and started eating as their stomach growled loudly.

“You are, indeed. Tell me, why are we friends again?” Kyungsoo shaked his head.   
“Behave, son. Unless you want to die young by choking on lettuce”  
“Listen up. I worry about you. You’re too calm in the midst of this storm.”  
“Hmm? Should I not?” Kihyun raised his eyebrows, shoving a piece of bread in his mouth.  
Kyungsoo glanced at him, then shaked his head “No. You should’ve never pent it up, Ki. You’ll explode anytime. ”  
“I won’t. it’s a promise”  
Kyungsoo gave up. “If you said so.”  
“Hmm…” Kihyun only hummed while this time, chewing some pizza.

“Ah, there’s another thing. I decided to have my military service next year, they told me it will be starting around midyear”   
Kihyun confused “Oh? Why so sudden?”  
“You know I always wanted to do it early, as soon as I had my 20th birthday. The group’s promotions are the ones that held me up. I’m waiting for Minseokkie Hyung served then I’ll do it. Besides, remember when Director-nim wanted to make another movie of my story?”  
“The Along With the Gods?”  
“Yep. He said they wanted to start the production early 2021. Counting the 20 months service, it will be better of I’ll be serve next year” Kyungsoo started to munch his lasagna again.  
Kihyun gave him a smile, “It’s a great news, Soo. I’m so glad for you. Congratulations, actor Do Kyungsoo-nim”   
“Thanks to you, Yoo Kihyun coach-nim. Thank you for being my inspiration, my humble mentor and my lovely acting partner” Kyungsoo dropped his fork, put his hands on his own laps, and bowed to Kihyun.  
Kihyun laughed at the gesture, “Shut it, Soo. It’s so not us for being this nice”  
Kyungsoo laughed with him. “We are nice guys, Ki. Why do you always want to be the villain?”  
“They’re cool”  
“Let’s have this conversation again when you’re in jail”  
“Oho. Why so serious, Soo?” Kihyun mocked Kyungsoo’s words earlier.  
“Hey, that’s my line” Kyungsoo scoffed and slapped Kihyun’s shoulder lightly.

“Okay, since you’ll be going next year, when will we proceed it?” suddenly, Kihyun’s eyes glinted, “You know that I’m always booked, don’t you? I need to make sure everything’s done, so I’ll have no one bother me with phone or the pile of works while we’re gone." Kihyun sighed. "I want some peace of mind, far away from this busy city. Relax and enjoy the nature. Ah, I can’t wait!” Kihyun screamed excitedly, he shaked both of his fists.  
Kyungsoo cooed at this cute side of Kihyun, then answered him, “So do I, Ki. How is January? We, well, I and other hyungs already made a planned staying in Japan with our group of friends around the end of the month.”  
“Hmm? Kwangsoo Hyung?” Kyungsoo nodded, “Can we go before it, like around the middle of the month?”  
“Always before others, I see”  
“Of course. You, Do Kyungsoo, should be prioritised me, Yoo Kihyun over anyone. I can only be second after your blood related family. I’ve already being nice for sharing you with them. And, our planned was so long overdued” Kihyun said firmly and punctuanting every words.   
“Yes, Sir. I’m glad that they know this possessive side of yours and fortunately never complained” Kyungsoo shaked his head.  
“They should not. Get in line. I knew you first”   
“Aye, Captain” Kyungsoo rolled his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had both chapters ready for starters. I'm trying to update it regularly for wed thu slots. hope you'll fine with it. 
> 
> So, a new chapter. what do you think?


	3. The Days After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hoseok tried again “Do ask him, Woo”  
> “I won’t. It’s over”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy!

“Hyung, please..” someone said.  
“I can’t take it” another one added.  
“I’m begging you”  
“You’re killing me”  
“Five minutes” Hyunwoo finally said and walked to the back of the room to stop the music.  
“HUWAAAHH...” Changkyun and Jooheon was screaming loudly and sprawling on the floor. Both were panting hard. Hoseok looked at them and chuckled a little.  
“Don’t go too hard on them, Woo” Hoseok turn his head to look at Hyunwoo.  
“Don’t baby them, Seok” Hyunwoo answered without looking back at Hoseok while setting up the player for another set of practice.

Jooheon was thinking hard. And then he said in whisper while pouting, slowly “But, I am a baby..”  
Changkyun snorted in disbelieved “I should be the one who said that.”   
“No, you don’t, Kyun”   
Changkyun suddenly sat up and pouted at his hyung, “Hyung, in case you forget, I was born much later than you. That makes me the youngest here. The maknae. The babiest baby”   
“Doesn’t mean you’re the baby” Jooheon smirked at him.  
Before Changkyun could reply, Hyunwoo said “Joo, enough. Let’s just take a break in silence, okay?”

Hoseok looked at his friend while drinking from a water bottle “Are you okay?”  
“Nope” Hyunwoo sighed. “We’re behind schedule. The comeback showcase is less than two weeks. But, suddenly they decided to change the title track. We need to be prepared with the new choreo. Not to mention try singing it live. We should practice more. There’s a lot things to do. You know the drills, guys. Come on. Get up” Hyunwoo clapped his hands twice.  
“We still have time, Hyunwoo. We can take another 10 minutes break.” Hoseok said.  
“We don’t Seok. Get your ass up. Now” Hyunwoo gritted his teeth.  
“Hyunwoo..”  
“Oh, shut the fuck up. Save your energy for dancing than complaining.”  
“Wow. Hold up.” Hoseok raised both of his hands up. “What the hell is wrong with you?”  
“Me? Nothing’s wrong with me. It’s because you’re getting too soft for your little baby Kyun right there. The dance was not that hard”  
Hoseok furrowed his eyebrows, “What the fuck is going on here?”  
“We should be hustling but instead you chose to let him slacking off.”  
“Slacking off? It’s called resting. He’s still in recovery for fuck sake.”

Changkyun and Jooheon who was silence the whole time got up on their feet. Shuffling uncomfortably, Changkyun said “Hoseokie hyung, it’s okay. I had enough rest. We should continue it. Hyunwoo hyung, can we proceed now?”  
Hoseok glared at Changkyun, silently said to shut up. Changkyun and Jooheon didn’t dare to say another word, linking their arms in order to give support to another and looked down at their feet.  
Hyunwoo huffed, “You were there when the doctor said he’s okay to do the dance routine”  
Hoseok looked at him in disbelieved, “The doctor said it’s okay for a moderate physical exercise. And this is not even close with the so called moderate. You know better”  
“It’s unprofessional”  
Hoseok snorted.“Unprofessional? And you think you are? You were the one who messed up the whole choreo. We keep repeating it because you couldn’t even set your mind on it. If you tried a little bit harder, we would have wrapped it hours earlier.” He was pointing his finger at Hyunwoo.

“It’s okay now, Hyung. Kyun can do it again. Right, Kyun ah?” Jooheon said slowly, Changkyun responded with a little nod.  
“I’m not talking to you” Hoseok glanced over to Jooheon. The latter squirmed in discomfort. Hoseok then turned his gaze back at Hyunwoo. “We’re trying to understand about everything you’re going through right now. We’re here when you need us. You know we always got your back. But, I couldn’t take it if you blamed others for your wrongdoing. And no. I didn’t blindly do it to favor Changkyun, I would do the same for you and Jooheon.”  
“Shut up. You know nothing” Hyunwoo picked up his belongings and stormed out the door, leaving the trio in the practice room. 

\-------

Later at that night, Hyunwoo arrived at the dorm, welcomed by Hoseok who was sitting in the livingroom.   
“You’re here.” Hoseok turned his gaze to meet Hyunwoo.  
“Still up?” Hyunwoo surprised to find his bandmates waiting for him.  
“Yeah. Where were you?”  
Hyunwoo put his shoes on the rack, “Near Han river”  
Hoseok nodded his head, “Ah, night walk.”  
“Joo and Kyun?” Hyunwoo approached him.  
“They’re sleeping.”  
“Ah, okay. Seok, can we talk?”  
“Sure. Come here” Hoseok pat the seat beside him.

Hyunwoo took a seat next to him and said “I’m sorry. I should’ve not said that to you, Joo and Kyun”  
“It’s okay.” Hoseok smiled reassuringly.  
Hyunwoo sighed. He still could not met Hoseok in the eyes. “I know it’s not. I’m sorry”  
“All good, Woo. It’s fine really. I was not even mad. Honey and Kkung were more in the worried side than mad. I admit that it was quite intense? We were so close to punch each other, you know?” Hoseok laugh a bit.  
“I’m really sorry”  
“Whoa, dude. I said it’s okay, enough apologizing. I understand. You’re not being yourself these days.”  
“I’m trying”  
Hoseok carefully said, “Is there anything I can help? You can tell me everything. I’m all ears”  
Finally, Hyunwoo took a chance to look at Hoseok. “I don’t know where to start.”  
Hoseok didn’t answer. Only smiled knowingly. Encouraged him to talk. 

Hyunwoo started “It’s weird. I feel weird. I was the one who cut it off. I was the one who left. Why am I like this, really?”  
“The one who left could also be hurt”  
“Could be” He chuckled, then continued “Kihyun and I, we were together for a long time. It was always him. Kihyun this, Kihyun that. He’s everything. I was that whipped for him or, well, maybe I still am. I don’t exactly know when we started to grow apart. We’re both busy, our schedule overlapped, we were running here and there, inside the country and overseas. Too busy that time to rest was such a luxury. I knew he felt it too. We were trying but we knew something could not be fixed. It would never be like it was before”  
Hyunwoo leaned on the sofa, massaging his temple “Then, it came to the point where it pained me. The simplest thing like thinking of him could always cheered me up but at that time, the thoughts of him were suffocating me. In the end, I thought it would be better to just end it here”  
He paused for a moment before added “I thought it would be freeing. Not many days since we broke up, but now I know that I was wrong, silly me. I feel numb instead.” 

“Why don’t you try to ask him again?”  
“Seok ah, he didn’t hold me back. He said he thought I would never asked him. Like, what? It’s like he waited for me to break up with him. For once, I doubted it that he still wanted to be with me. And then those words he said was confirming my doubt. This was it. It would be better to end it sooner before we hurt too much”  
“Have you asked him why? The reasons why he chose to let go”  
“He could tell me, Seok”  
Hoseok tried again “Do ask him, Woo”  
“I won’t. It’s over”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> new update! hope you like it..


	4. Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why did he let him go?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, It's technically Thursday, here.. ^^

“So damn tired” Kihyun said to himself after plopping to his own bed. The cold duved felt so comfortable. Kihyun closed his eyes for a minute and put a mental note for himself to clean up in a bit. He needed to lay his back on the bed, giving it a rest. A little gift for working extremely hard these days would be appreciated.

It’s Friday night, has been more than a week since the day he went out with Kyungsoo. Since then, the work had been getting busier. The new projects and the third quarter performance review were the most time consuming ones. He didn’t have enough time to sleep, had only sandwich and coffee because those were the most convenience food to eat while reviewing papers. The messages from his friends asking for going out or simply asking how was he doing were left unread. By the time he had a break, it usually already past midnight. He thought it would be rude to answer at that particular time so he considered to reply them in the morning. But, he keep forgetting it until the next midnight and the circle went on. Hopefully, his friends would be very understanding about his situation.

It's not a secret that he needed it to be busy, very busy, a distraction. It’s the only way he would have no time or energy to think about the specific event. However, because of the I-want-it-to-be-done-right-now mood he had, he finished everything earlier, even the works needed to be done next week. He was free this weekend. No schedules, no meetings, no papers. Nothing. Just himself.

_“Kihyun-ah. Clean up first. You’re dirtying the sheets”_

_“A minute, Hyung. My back is killing me.”_

_“Come down in ten minutes or no dinner for you” Hyunwoo grinned at him_

_“No! I’m up! Don’t you dare touch my chicken!” , he sprinted into the bathroom._

A little smile was tugging in his lips. “Ah, no one will scold me. Few more minutes, then”

_“Make it King size”_

_“Huh? But, Queen size is enough for me”_

_“Not for us two”_

_Kihyun blushed “Hyung!”_

Kihyun chuckled, “See? This bed is too big now.. for only me” He said lowly, running his hands on the bed. Feeling the smooth fabrics, looking around at the spacious bed with him on it.

_“Kihyun ah, are you cold?”_

_“..yes”_

“Seriously, though. Why are the memories keep coming back? Brain, are you mocking me?” He said to himself in disbelieve. Can’t defend himself from the overflowing pictures.

There was a Director Yoo, who profesionally lead a meeting with the company’s major stakeholders, successfully stamped an agreement with a potential investor for the future massive project, a pioneer and respected young actor in his company to boost. But this time, it was only Yoo Kihyun. The heartbroken man whom supressed his feeling, masked his pain with a smile for the sake of his duty.

_“Tough day?”_

_“Ugh. It’s the day when everything has gone wrong.”_

_“It will be okay. Just sleep now” Hyunwoo put his hand around the younger. He made a circle on Kihyun’s back in attempt to calm him._

He curled up himself. His tears were rolling down on his cheeks. He grabbed his chest, “Oh my. It hurts.”

_“Yoo Kihyun!”_

_“Kihyun ah”_

_“Our Kihyunie”_

“Enough. Stop, please. Please”

_“What is it?”_

_“A necklace?”_

_“I know, my dear bear. Why are you giving me this? I’m not forgetting anything, am I?”_

_Hyunwoo chuckled, “No. It’s a reminder that I’ll always be with you”_

The wall he built up high was broken. He couldn’t take it anymore. He let out all of it. It was hurting him, he could feel it physically. His head spinned, his heart burnt, his stomach twisted. He felt like he was beaten up all over his body. Everything was in terrible pain.

Son Hyunwoo, his man, his first in everything, his anchor, was no longer his to call. The memories were still so fresh in mind, the first meeting, the confession, the kisses, the laughter. Hell, even after changing the sheets, the bed were still smelling a lot like him.

The time they spent together was warm, cheerful most of the times, arguments here and there but everyone found it cute, endearing even. But, now it was cold and empty. For this once, Kihyun hated that it quiet. It was too quiet and he felt lonely. There was a big hole in his heart. A part of him blamed himself.

Why did he let him go?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> back to back update. yes. hehehe  
> I'll be busy today, so I think it'd better to upload early.
> 
> let me know what you think.. :D


	5. Hugs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We are here” Minhyuk said to Kihyun.  
> Kyungsoo told him “ You’re okay now. You’ll be okay”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “We are here” Minhyuk said to Kihyun.  
> Kyungsoo told him “ You’re okay now. You’ll be okay”

The next day, Kihyun woke up and felt terrible. His head was throbbing badly, he lost count how many hours spent for crying. He checked the time, only few minutes before midday. Feeling a little nauseus dan dehydrated, he walked downstairs to have some water. Stepping the stairs, he smelled food in the making. Oh, his stomach automatically responded, growling loud enough, signalling the owner that it ready to be filled with some food.  
“Good morning” Kyungsoo heard his footsteps, turned over his shoulder to look at him.  
“Good morning, Soo” Kihyun replied. “Smells good. What is that?”  
“I made soup for you.” Kyungsoo walked to the stove and stirred the soup.  
Kihyun nooded. He slumped on the counter, putting his head on his arm and yawned.  
“You changed your password”  
“Right! Uh.. How did you get in?” Kihyun jerked up.

“Mr. Jung to the rescue. Anyway, you kind of changed it but not change it entirely.” Kyungsoo teased him.Kihyun ignored him, slumping back on the counter. “The order changed. But, still has the same meaning. Sure. Brilliant.”  
“Shut it. Just get the soup ready. I’m starving”  
“Alright. It’s done.” Kyungsoo prepared the dishes ready on the table.  
“Crab? Hmm.. Fancy. Thank you for the meal” Kihyun said while raising his spoon and started eating the meal. “You’re not eating?”   
“How are you feeling?” Kyungsoo asked him while leaning on the counter.  
Kihyun hummed “Better”  
“Ah, I don’t needed here then” Kyungsoo said, untied his apron.  
“Come on. No one said that. Get your own bowl and eat with me. It’s impossible to finish them all by myself.”  
Kyungsoo nodded silently then prepared the meal for himself.

The beep sounds heard, someone open the lock of the front door. “We’re expecting a guest?” Kihyun asked.  
Instead getting the answer of his question, he heard someone stormed into the kitchen and yelled “Kihyunaaah” Minhyuk run and hugged him tightly.  
Kihyun gasped, “Too tight.. I need air”  
“Tch. Drama queen” Minhyuk released his hug and moved over the chair next to Kihyun.  
“Hey, Ki” Hyungwon gave him a wave, swaying his hands full of bags of snacks. He put it onto the chair in the kitchen then proceeded to the livingroom, preparing a movie to watch.  
“Oh, hi Hyungwon ah”  
“Hi, Kihyunie” Jongin put some groceries on the counter then rummaging the bags to look for something. “I’ll prepare the popcorn” Jongin said after he found it.   
“Hi there. Oh wow.. What do we have here?”  
“We missed you, of course!” Minhyuk said while still clinging to Kihyun.  
“Min, we met yesterday.”  
“At the evaluation meeting. We didn’t even speak to each other” Minhyuk pouted. “You had this spooky aura all the time. I don’t have guts to approach you”  
“Is that so?”

“I need to hold his hand to stop his fidgeting.” Hyungwon was done preparing the movie then went back to the kitchen. He scooted over to help Jongin.  
“How sweet. Thanks to me” Kihyun chuckled  
“No, really. Kyungsoo kyung, is he always like that?” Minhyuk asked him.  
“Like what?”  
“You’re not listening, are you hyung?”  
“No, I’m eating”  
“...okay. So I was asking, was Kihyun always that serious during a meeting?”   
“Uh, to the point someone could pee in their pants. Yes, you’re correct” Kyungsoo answered with a straight face.  
Kihyun denied it. “You’re exaggerating.”

“I’m not the only one who felt like that, I suppose”  
“Huh, which meeting? At Esteem?” Jongin asked while preparing the bowl for the popcorn.   
Kihyun answered him, “Evaluation meeting. Mr. Kim said it would be nice if someone from the main office went to branch office to show that we truly care and appreciate them. I was only trying to visit and have a chat with your CEO, Mr. Jo. But then he happily invite me to join the meeting, saying maybe I could have some suggestion to increase the performance”  
“Supervising, I see.” Jongin said  
Hyungwon chuckled “You know, as much I hate to tell you this, I am proud to call you my friend”  
“Exactly!” Minhyuk beamed. Kihyun only laughed. He and Kyungsoo had their soup finished. 

Jongin took the popcorn and said “Shall we?” He walked to the livingroom followed by the others who had their own favourite snacks in hand.  
They all seated on the sofa. Kihyun was squeezed between Minhyuk and Hyungwon while Kyungsoo and Jongin had another sofa for them. Kihyun asked Minhyuk who was hugging him. “Why are you being so affectionate today, hmm?”  
Minhyuk said “I want to. Can I hug my bestfriend?” He looked at Kihyun with his big puppy eyes. Okay, no one can say no to that.   
Kihyun shaked his head but let him then he looked at the screen, “Okay. Just don’t do anything funny”  
Minhyuk scoffed “Anything funny? My boyfriend’s right here. Your protective lovely twin’s sitting over there. I still love my life, thank you very much”.  
Jongin saw the two then said “Enough you two. Can we just silently enjoy the day? I’ll start the movie, okay?”  
All of them comfortably sat on the sofa. Some would munch the popcorn, others with their own snacks. Snuggling further back into the sofa and just enjoy the usual lazy Saturday. 

Kihyun was not really watching the screen before him. His mind still wandered here and there. Or not thinking at all. Maybe it was for the best. Numb the pain.   
He took a look around. Hyungwon, Minhyuk, and Jongin. They were training together for a few years. He befriended with Jongin first. He was so shy and cute at the moment. But the shy biy was definitely not shy when he need to show his dancing. The fluid and powerfull movement, a perfection.   
Then Minhyuk and Hyungwon came to the agency. They came in pair. They gave such a bold statement to the company to take both of them, wouldn’t agree to train the if only one is chosen. Surprisingly, the agency agreed. Then they placed with the same group as Kihyun. The bright sun was easier to approach than the taller one. Later on they became closer and called themselves the conservative brothers.   
The four of them was so close. Even when they were not debuting in a group and not even in the same company anymore, they always made time to check on each other. The time Kihyun debuted, the others were still in the same group. The nest year was the harder part. The agency decided to move Minhyuk and Hyungwon to Esteem then they debuted as models.   
Kihyun then looked Kyungsoo. As if he knew, the said man looked back at him and gave a little smile. He tried to reply with the same smile. He knew they were here to help him cheer up without he asked them to. But smile turned itu a frown. In a moment he burst into tears. Minhyuk and Hyungwon startled at his sudden burst. Hyungwon quickly move aside and let Kyungsoo took his seat. He and Jongin sat in the sofa next to them, watched them in silence, trying to give them space to comfort Kihyun.

“We are here” Minhyuk said to Kihyun.  
Kyungsoo told him “ You’re okay now. You’ll be okay”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a new chapter.. hehehe.. what do you think?
> 
> ah, I added side story in the part 2 of yoo and son. let me know if you like it :D


	6. First Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sender: Mon Hyunwoo <3  
> Message: Can we have a talk?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short update.. enjoy!

“Hyung you came!” Sehun shrieked at Kihyun seeing him entering the dress room. He reached out his hand to Kihyun.

Kihyun smiled widely showing his cute dimples and took Sehun’s hand, swaying it a little “Of course! How could I not?” He patted his shoulder. Sehun was sitting in front of mirror having his make up ready. He nodded at Kyungsoo and Jongin who also was being styled.

It’s the first week of comeback promotion, time to finally show the fans the result of their hardwork. Kihyun usually came for every stage in the first week even for just an hour or two. This time unfortunately, Kihyun could only make time to visit them on Sunday, Inkigayo stage. He came to cheer the team as a sunbae or just a friend, not a business related. Although sometimes, the maknae would disagree and felt that he had been judging them. Well, it came naturally now.

To pay the stages he missed, Kihyun planned to stay a little bit longer. He was trying to come earlier to have a simple talk with the member, being there to listen anything the members would like to talk to him. Surely he missed them, and today, he had a full day for them anyway. He made a promise that he would stay to watch the rehearsal and the live stage, such as successful fanboy he was.

Being a sweet person himself, not only prepared snacks and beverages for the team and the staffs, Kihyun also ordered a coffee truck outside the building for EXO-Ls who were waiting in the cold winter of South Korea. Hotpacks were included in the items they received.

Junmyeon welcomed him with an open arms “Thank you for visiting us, Kihyunah. Our Ls were also thankful for the coffee truck. They said the hot chocolate was the bomb”

“It’s nothing, Hyung. That’s the least I can do” Kihyun smiled. He took a look around. Some of the members still had their eyes closed while being styled. He sit at one of the sofa near him.

Junmyeon eyed him “Have you watched any of our stage?”

Kihyun said “Sorry, I haven’t hyung. This will be my first seeing you perform it live.”

He hummed, “Be prepared to be amazed”

“I came prepared. You all have never dissappointed me.” Kihyun said softly. He shook his hand with Minseok who came after having his make up done.

“Kihyunie.. Thank you for the coffee” He said before slurpped his iced americano.

“You’re very welcome, Hyung.”

“You’re so busy lately, yeah? Yixing said it’s harder to call you these days.”

Kihyun answered “The works are piling up. It’s been hectic for the last month. But, it’s getting slower now, Hyung. I’ll call him back after this”

Minseok gave him a smile “He’s having a difficult time promoting on his own. Give him a call to cheer him up. He missed you. ”

Kihyun nodded “Will do, hyung”

Jumnyeon added “He said so this is what Kihyun feel being a soloist. Having many back dancer still can’t fill up the energy our member provide”

“Sure hyung. No one can top your beagle line here” Kihyun chuckled

“They’re unstoppable” Junmyeon shook his head “How to tame them?” This time Minseok chuckled and nodded his head, agreeing the leader.

“You love us being wild, Hyung. We double the fun” Baekhyun joined the conversation immediately. “Looking good, Kihyun ah”

Kihyun showed his eye smile again “Thanks. And so are you, Hyung”

“Kihyuniiiee..” Chanyeol followed to greeted him.

“Same old happy virus.” Kihyun couldn’t hold his laughter “Hi Chanyeollie hyung”

Chanyeol smiled widely at the younger while putting an arm around Baekhyun’s shoulder “We’ll be having a dinner together later In the evening. You’re coming?”

“And drinks for round two” Jongdae added, he was speaking loudly from his seat.

Kihyun thought for a moment then answered them “Dinner will be okay, but not sure for the drinks. Work tomorrow, Hyung. Can’t show up with hangover, can I?”

“Come on, just skip a day. You need a rest” Baekhyun said while shaking his shoulder cutely.

Sometimes Kihyun wondered who is the hyung between Baekyun and him “I’m sorry hyung. This time your aegyo could not help you much”

Baekhyun was still pleading at him when a staff member interupted them.

“Excuse me, Monsta members here wanted to greet you all” he said while showing them the members who was entering the dress room one by one. Then he excuse himself out the room.

Baekhyun stopped immediately, his head turned to the said members.

Kihyun was sitting there not moving an inch, eyeing the incoming member.

_Oh. I forgot that he will also be here._

At last, the person he missed the most walked into the room. Their eyes met. No one dared to say anything. The tension was up in the air.

_He looks great. I worried over nothing._

The members were standing up and welcomed each one of them, hugging them warmly. Sehun, Kyungsoo and Jongin who haven’t finished greeted them with a simple hi. Kihyun was standing still in his place. He greeted them by bowing and waving his hand at them. He had no intention to walked closer.

Hyunwoo stood there awkwardly. He coughed then tried to compose his beating heart before speaking “We will give you our greetings” then he proceeded with their unique introduction. The EXO members gave their signature as well.

They were having a light conversation about their respective new released album. Keep it professional between sunbae and hoobae despite being fully aware of the awkward situation, trying to have the usual interaction and being careful.

The chatting ended not so long after it begun. They finished it by exchanging album signed by all the members. The Monsta members politely excuse themselves out of the room. Hyunwoo relieved that almost all the members treated them nicely, except for one. For a brief moment, he caught the cold of Sehun eyes when he greeted him. Kyungsoo was more understanding since he explained to him. But the maknae was never going to forgive him whatever reason he told him. He hoped that Kihyun would kindly tell Sehun someday. 

Back to the dress room, still processing about the event earlier, Kihyun surprised by a ding from his phone. Automatically, he took the device out from his pocket.

He was staring at the screen blankly, read it the name of the sender and the message shown few times.

**Sender: Mon Hyunwoo <3**

**Message: Can we have a talk?**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hopefully, I'll see you again next week.. 
> 
> sorry not sorry. hehehehe >:3


	7. One Chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kihyun turned his back and left without looking back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoy it.. ^^

_Why? He read it. Or my phone’s broken?”_

Hyunwoo looked at his phone carefully, searching for any damage that might be found. It had been a quite while since the message sent, he checked again and again whether Kihyun had replied it, but nothing came. The blue check signs were shown in his message, that meant Kihyun had already seen it. He was waiting for his reply patiently. But as the minutes went on, he felt anxious. There are so many questions in his head. And many scenarios that could happen, that hold Kihyun back from replying.

_Should I call him instead? Nope. Not a good idea. He’ll-_

His thought was interrupted by Jooheon “Hyung, I’ll come to the studio. Chanyeol hyung said they welcome us to watch their stage” he said timidly.

Hyunwoo took a look at him “Ah, okay. You can go” He was checking his phone again. He knew something’s was wrong, he thought that needed to buy a new one.

Changkyun was impatient and added “Hyung, what he meant was, will you come with us?”

Jooheon gasped “Kyun-ah!” He slapped Changkyun’s arm suddenly.

Changkyun shocked at the movement, then stroked his arm, in attempt to soothe it. “What? He can refuse if he doesn’t want to”

Jooheon huffed then looked at Hyunwoo “Anyway, hyung. The performance will be started soon”. He was waiting for a yes from the oldest.

Hyunwoo stopped his doing and was contemplating by the idea watching the performance. He thought the possibility that Kihyun also there to watch the stage. Kihyun had never missed to support them at the studio. He enjoyed any kind of performance. His little sweet escape when works had been hell. His friends’ performance was even better.

_Maybe that’s why he didn’t reply? Should I go? I can ask him directly._

Afraid that he would change his mind again, Hyunwoo stood up immediately “It’s rude to turn down an invitation. Let’s go” He left first, didn’t bother to wait for the maknaes answer.

The walk to the studio felt so nerve wrecking for Hyunwoo, even more than the last stage before announcement of who was chosen in the debut team. He was speeding up his steps, widen his strides, trying to arrive quickly.

A sound he familiar with, welcomed him. He was standing near the entrance, leaned back on the wall and folded his arms together. He couldn’t watch the stage clearly, the view was blocked by cameras. But clearly the best place to look at a specific person. A little bit in the corner and quite dark. One could not be spotted easily. Hyunwoo will be waiting for Kihyun there.

“Hi EXO-L, I’m Yoo Kihyun, a special guest for today’s stage.”

Kihyun introduced himself to the audience, he was speaking using a microphone handed by a staff. He was standing from a few row beside the fans. It was a break time before another shoot, so he used it, to have a little conversation with the members and fans. The fans cheered for him after he had done the intoduction.

Kihyun smiled, “Oh, no. I won’t sing. I’m not a performer today.” A fan asked whether he could sing some lines. “I came as a supporter” He explained.

“Supporter? You’re kidding. Practice the cheering more. You’re terrible” Baekhyun said suddenly, caused the fans laughed at them.

Chanyeol added “And scream louder. Or were you just pretending to?” His eyes were wide opened, almost comically, surprised.

Sehun had his eyebrows furrowed “You also need to practice your smile, Hyung. That’s a frown”

Kihyun wanted to talk back at them but they gave him no space to. Kyungsoo added “If you came empty handed, talk to me. I can give you one of my slogan” He said with a straight face.

Kihyun scoffed “Like I’m being here for you” he rolled his eyes.

Kyungsoo gasped loudly, then acted surprised and hurt, he touched his chest “No?” Fans shrieked at the interaction of the two. Having a best friend near, Kyungsoo definitely showed a different of him.

“That was the guy you guys adore? Unbelievable.” Kihyun turned his head to the fans, they answered with a loud yes, he’s cute, and other responses. It was loud. He shook his head. “He’s a drama queen, fyi. One of the many reasons why he excel in acting. He-“

Kyungsoo cut him “Don’t. Don’t even try” He said while pointing his index finger to Kihyun.

Jongdae who walked back onto the stage, joined the conversation “Be good at him. He knew too much. One word from him, everything will be a mess”. Kihyun snickered at the comment.

The later conversation was mute. Hyunwoo could hear no sound at all. It’s like his senses focused on capturing the image before him. All Hyunwoo saw was Kihyun. Kihyun’s smiled, ah, when he laughed too hard we could see his silver tooth. Just like now. Hyunwoo smiled unconsiously, smitten.

_He’s beautiful. Cute. Look at the dimples! I mean look at him._

The stage director gave a sign that the recording would start again soon. They put the talk on hold and back to their place. The members positioned themselves in their opening formation. Kihyun took a seat, then started to prepare the cheering stick, pushed the button to turn it in and then he raised slogan with all members’ name on it. He would never come without his cheering kit. It’s just that he saved the last performance to show them what he brought with him.

The light was dimmed, more sign that the recording was about to start. Hyunwoo squinted a little. His eyesight was not helping much when the light was this low. Shortly after, he could see better. Kihyun swung his Eribong following the beat of the music, screaming the fanchant perfectly. Hyunwoo remembered when Kihyun was practicing the Ko Ko Bop’s one. He took it seriously and even set an amount of time he needed to excell it. He’s so cute, Hyunwoo could not resist the urge to annoy him. Kihyun was not having it and picking up a fight. The result of it was the fanchant fully memorised the day after. (I leave it you your imagination =3)

Then, the recording was over, the members slowly took steps downstairs and walked back to the dress room. Kihyun heard his phone ringing, he took it out from his pocket and answered it immediately. It was a call from his secretary. Sunday, what a special day to discuss about special case and complete the stamp of full week attendance to work. The special case was unfortunately sent to his desk, he had no choice but to go to office and took it. These days where everything paperless and digitalised, there are people who choose to print the document. They were speaking for a moment.

When the phone ended, Kihyun took a look around and found that the hall was almost empty. The fans were already gone, there were only staffs checking the stage. Then, he stopped at one side in the corner of the room. There, Hyunwoo stood silently. Perked up a little when he saw Kihyun noticed him standing there.

It was the second time their eyes met that day. This time, Kihyun didn’t wander, he stood tall and looked at Hyunwoo straight in his eyes. There was an overwhelming feeling in his chest. A lot things remained unspoken, a lot more still unknown. The time surely went slower, they stared for a while, like it was too precious to look away. Or maybe too afraid that one of them will vanished any second they tried to blink.

Hyunwoo knew that look well, people would say that Kihyun was only staring at him blankly. But, Hyunwoo knew him too well. He was thinking about something, he was sure it was about choosing the option he had, to answer Hyunwoo or not. Hyunwoo looked at Kihyun, soften his gaze, a silent plead to let his heart win and come to the older. Hopefully, he could give him a chance to talk.

The next second, it was a thing that Hyunwoo would never expected before. It couldn't be.

Kihyun turned his back and left without looking back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that I couldn't upload it earlier. some urgent things came up, I needed to be focus on them first.
> 
> anyway, hope you like it =)


	8. Longing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s final.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for waiting. enjoy!

“I’ve just arrived. Still in the parking lot” Kihyun answered his ringing phone after parked his car. He put his phone between his cheek and shoulder, while his hands gathering his belonging. Jongin was speaking in the other line.

Jongin nodded his head, realizing that Kihyun couldn’t see him, he added “Ah, okay. Glad you’re safe. We’re worried because you didn’t show up in the dress room after the recording. Thankfully Mr. Jung informed us about the call.”

Sighing loudly, Kihyun apologized to him, “I’m so sorry, it’s really beyond my control”. Kihyun picked all of his stuffs and stepped outside the car. He locked the door and walked into the building.

Jongin hummed, assuring him that he understood the situation. “I know. One thing, Kyungsoo looked forward the group dinner. He didn’t show it much but he was excited to have we all gathered together. It’s been quite a long time. You have to make up for it”

“I will, Jongin ah. I’ll call him later. It’s morning already, you should rest.”

“So do you. Have a good night, Kihyun”

“Good night” Kihyun answered him shortly and endded the call. The elevator doors arrived quickly after he press the button. He relieved that he didn’t need another minute to wait.

It took few more seconds to arrive at his floor. The doors opened, he was stepping out of it, walking to his apartement. He saw a man sitting, leaning onto his front door, looking unconsious. Kihyun squinted his eyes, trying to look at the person’s face. He was slowing down his step, carefully approaching the unknown man. He was hoping that the man had no intention to hurt him.

_No way._

A few more steps forward, “Hyunwoo hyung?” he said.

Hyunwoo jerked up, surprised by a sudden call. He opened one of his eyes, blinked a few times before he knew the person who was waking him up. Hyunwoo smiled softly, his eyes closed again and made a beautiful crescent shape, “Ah, Kihyunah. Here you are. You’re finally arrived”

Kihyun took a step behind, the alcohol smell was too strong for him. “You’re drunk, Hyung. Go home”

Hyunwoo didn’t listen to him, instead he said, “You changed the password”

“I did” Kihyun answered shortly.

Hyunwoo’s eyes wide opened. “Why?? It’s a pretty number, you like it. It’s our number” Hyunwoo sighed and pouted, whinned like a child.

“It was. But it is not.” Kihyun said still in his cold tone. “I’ll call Hyungshik” Kihyun massaged his templed, then he fished out the phone from his pocket, trying to dial Hyunwoo’s manager. He seriously had no energy left. He wanted to lie down and take a rest. It’s not that long before he needed to go to work again. Is it too much to ask?

Hyunwoo, out of all time, chose minutes before 2AM being loud, “Nooo.. I don’t want to go home. Let me in, Kiii. I’ll be gooood. I prooomiisee” Hyunwoo pleaded, slurred his word. He kept saying please and promise to Kihyun.

Kihyun stopped at the same time. He looked his left and right checking if his neighbours would come out of their apartment and complaint about the noise. “Okay okay okay. Sshh.. Please be quiet. You’re too loud.” Kihyun hushed him.

Hyunwoo put his hand over his mouth, signing that he would be silent. Hyunwoo found the situation funny. He giggled lowly, his shoulder moved up and down.

Kihyun sighed, he surrendered. He took steps toward Hyunwoo, then crouched down. He draped Hyunwoo’s arm over his shoulder. “Come on. Get up, hyung”

Kihyun helped Hyunwoo got up, stumbled a bit. Hyunwoo slowly stood up, stomped his feet and leaning to the wall beside the door. Kihyun punched the password and opened the door. He guided Hyunwoo to the living room, onto the couch.

When he reached the sofa, Hyunwoo happily curled in his side. Put both of his arms folded neatly under his cheek. He smelled the familiar vanilla scent all over the room, it’s soothing him. He loved this feeling. After comfortably positioned himself on the couch, he glanced up to Kihyun, “Good night, Ki” Hyunwoo said it and smiled, before closed his eyes and drifted to his sleep.

Kihyun stood in front of the sleeping Hyunwoo, stared at him dumbly.

_What the hell was going on here? I must be out of my mind._

He sat on the carpeted floor, then took both of his legs close to his chest. Kihyun breathed deeply, slowly, tried to ease his mind. He ran his fingers through his hair, frustrated. He knew he messed up. But, it’s too late. Should’ve just called Hyungshik to pick him up. This would be complicated in the morning. He let his heart took over his head, let it made a decision he knew exactly he might regret later.

Honestly, what could he do? How could he stop? He was weak, every cell in his body was weak for Hyunwoo. He could not say no to him, not at his pleading eyes, not at the sweet plea he said. Not when he showed up in front of his apartment door, at 2AM, drunk, and waited for him, he didn’t know for how long he’d been waiting. The thought of Hyunwoo was sitting on the cold floor for hours was enough to make Kihyun cook a hungover meal for him, didn’t even remember how exhausted he was, just to make him warm and feel better.

Blamed it on his depleting energy, instead of cursing at his messed up life, he chose to examine the peacefully resting bear. He noticed how he breathed in a steady pace. The hair was tousled here and there. The pink tinted nose and cheeks. The pouting plump lips.

Kihyun smiled unknowingly, he felt a warm feeling inside him. He missed it. He missed the feeling. But, he knew deep down he missed the person who gave him this wonderful feeling. It was strange that this precious feeling that was endearing before, became a thorn in his heart. It was hurting him. The memories took a place, played like a silent black and white movie. Did he take it for granted? Could he take it back?

“Oh no. Not again.” Kihyun harshly wiped of his fallen tears on his cheeks. He pressed his eyes with the palm of his palms, wished that it could stop the tears from falling.

Kihyun got up and looked for a blanket. He draped it over Hyunwoo slowly, checked that it covered everything, and made sure it’s warm enough for him. He stole a glanced at his face once more, then headed to his room upstairs. He’s more than ready to rest for the day.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Hyunwoo stirred, a tasty aroma tingled his nose. No doubt, it must be delicious, he was speaking with himself in sleep. He hoped that the cook will let him to taste it, just a bit was enough, but a bowl would be very nice. He gulped, the smell was so good. Then suddenly he remember last night event, he was drunk, then everything else was blur. He popped his eyes open wanted to check his surrounding, but the light was blinding. He blinked couple of times and before he could processed it, someone said to him.

“You’re awake” Kihyun was the owner of the voice. He continued to focus on chopping the vegetable. 

Hyunwoo let his mouth hanging open. He definitely didn’t expect this to happen. There were so many place to go, yet his muscles automatically bring him here. He cursed at himself. He knew he wanted to pay a visit here sometime, but not at this very moment and this condition. Than it struck him. Oh my. He was drunk, so drunk he couldn’t remember what happened after his seventh or eighth glass. He didn’t hurt Kihyun, or anyone, did he?

Kihyun raised his head, having no response from Hyunwoo, “Good morning”. He said again.

Hyunwoo coughed, he answered timidly, “Good morning.”

Kihyun nodded slightly, “You can take the pill. I placed it and water on the coffee table, hyung”

Hyunwoo turned his head to look at the said table. “Thank you”, then he took the pill.

“When you’re feeling better, come here, Hyung. It will be ready in a minute” Kihyun turned his back, checked the pan behind him and put the chopped vegetables into the boiling broth.

Hyunwoo emptied the glass. He placed it again on the coffee table. He stopped for a moment, studying Kihyun from his backside. Once upon a time, he would walked tiptoeing there, Kihyun was too immersed in his cooking to sense him. Hyunwoo surprised the younger by a loud screaming. The younger screamed along with him and almost hit with a laddle in his hand. After Kihyun calmed down, Hyunwoo would put his hands on his waist, circling Kihyun from behind. He inhaled the natural scent of Kihyun and burried his head in his neck. Once upon a time.

Hyunwoo was standing up, he was feeling better. He strolled across the livingroom, straight to the kitchen. “Uh.. You don’t have to. But, thank you”. He took a seat in front of Kihyun.

Kihyun put the bowls down, one for Hyunwoo and one for him “No worries. I want to.”

They had their meals in silent. Hyunwoo peeked at Kihyun, wanted to talk small about anything. He hated the awkward atmosphere there. Seeing Kihyun only staring at his bowl and finishing it, Hyunwoo gave up. He thought it would be better if he also finished it soon.

And soon after, he said, “Thank you for the meal. It’s delicious” He smiled at Kihyun.

Kihyun nodded, he didn’t return the smile, “You’re welcome, Hyung. Don’t worry about the dishes. I’ll clean them up. You can leave now. I need to go to work in an hour”. He collected the dishes immediately.

Hyunwoo saw a chance, he stopped Kihyun’s hand, then looked at his eyes “An hour. Can I stay longer?”

Kihyun answered, “You can”

Hyunwoo smiled again, he happily asked him. “Let’s move to the sofa” He took Kihyun’s hand and tried to pull him out the kitchen.

But, Kihyun took back his hand from Hyunwoo grasp. “I said you can stay. That didn’t mean I will stay with you. I’m leaving” He put aside the urge to clean the dishes. He couldn’t face Hyunwoo. It’s suffocating to breath the same air. It’s still hurting him.

“You’re avoiding me” Hyunwoo speaked.

Kihyun paused, “Glad you know it.” He said in whisper, but Hyunwoo heard it clearly.

Hyunwoo turned his body to face Kihyun, “How are you?”

“Classic” Kihyun scoffed

“Kihyun..” Hyunwoo were trying to keep calm.

Kihyun swayed his hands, “Enough with the small talk. You’re wasting my time”

“That’s not nice”

Now, Kihyun turned to see him, he furrowed his eyebrows “But you really are? It’s weekday. I have a work to do. And don’t you too?”

“You’re happy now?” Hyunwoo suddenly said.

Kihyun was taken aback by his question, he tried to compose himself before saying, “What are you talking about?”

Hyunwoo could find a proper word to say, he endded up with “You.. look great. Better even”

Later he knew he made a mistake. It was too late to take it back.

_Shit, Hyunwoo. You can’t do anything right, can you? You threw the only chance away._

Kihyun was so pissed off hearing that, he could feel his blood started to boil, “What? Should I look miserable because of you?”

Hyunwoo felt so nervous. He was trying his best to come up with things to fix it, but nothing could help “That’s not exactly what I meant. Uh. You didn’t seem to affect by it”

_Stupid!_

Kihyun couldn’t believe his ears, “Whoa. Really? Should I say thank you?” He shook his head and continued, ”After all these years, I thought you knew me”

“You can tell me. We can have a talk” Hyunwoo was desperate.

Kihyun scoffed, “You had your chance to talk about it the day we broke up, but you chose not to. Was that not a clear message for me?”

Hyunwoo hurriedly say, “I couldn’t think, okay? A lot things were going on in my head, I couldn’t find even a word to elaborate it for you. And you didn’t stop me”

Kihyun put a hand on his chest, he was lowering his head, “Now, it’s my fault? You were the one who wanted to leave”

“Because I felt you didn’t want me anymore” Hyunwoo speaked a liitle higher.

Kihyun seriously could not believe what he heard, he said it slowly, “How could you say that?”

Hyunwoo took a deep breath. He was staring at both of Kihyun’s eyes, soften his gaze at him. “I’m sorry. I think I misunderstood everything, I couldn’t see a clearer picture. I was so dumb, I admit it. And I’m so sorry for that. Will you give a chance for us? Can we try again?”

Kihyun stayed silent for a moment. The moment of waiting for an answer was killing Hyunwoo softly. Seconds were usually passed by without him knowing, but now they felt too long. While on contrary, his heart was beating so fast, he could hear it.

Kihyun finally said, he had unreadable expression, “Then, you’re staying for good?”

Hyunwoo didn’t expect that, he didn’t want to push Kihyun, he said, “I said we could try”

Kihyun sighed, “It’s a yes or no question.”

Hyunwoo was saying softly, “I will follow”. 

_Please, say you will._

Kihyun cleared his throat, he said firmly “Make up your mind first. Don’t make me decide for both of us then break it off later. Come to me when you do. No promises. Now, leave”

Hyunwoo was standing still for a moment, studied his expression. Kihyun didn’t waver nor stutter. Nodded silently, Hyunwoo gave in and took his leave.

_It’s final._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> longer chapter this time. I'm sorry for the delay. but I hope you like it =)


	9. A Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kihyun was worried even more, “What? No!”  
> Hoon growled, “Then do as I fucking say”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy~!

_Ugh. My head is killing me._

Kihyun was sitting on his office. Before checking at the files on his desk, he inhaled deeply. The last night was eventful he might say. He couldn’t sleep for a bit. When he could relax for a bit, his alarm was screaming so loud, it was already time for him to wake up. He was unsure about everything. Should Kihyun left the house before Hyunwoo wake up? Should he make breakfast for Hyunwoo? Or should he leave after he made the breakfast? What if Hyunwoo wake up in the middle of cooking? What should he say?

Well, despite of being anxious and having of those questions in his own head, he thought he did great. He didn’t cry or break down in front of Hyunwoo. He was thought, and he should be proud of himself. What reward should he have?

But then he thought about this morning. It’s way better when Hyunwoo drunk or unconsious. He couldn’t talk back at Kihyun. He was definitely not ready having a conversation with Hyunwoo.

_Try again? You’re kidding me._

Kihyun scoffed.

_We failed once. What will be different when we try again? We’re running in circle._

Kihyun smiled sadly.

_Can today get any worse?_

He chuckled and shook his head.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Kihyun was called to meet Director Lee, in his office in 5th floor.

_It’s unusual for him to call me. Did I make any mistake?_

The secretary welcomed him once he stepped outside the elevator, she was waiting for his arrival. She was bowing at him, he replied also with a bow. He fixed his suit and walked inside the office after she informed Director Lee.

“Oh, my little brother is coming!” Kihyun stopped on his track and bowed his head to the man speaking, Director Lee Hoon, Mr. Lee’s eldest son.

Kihyun surprised to find that Mr. Lee was there too. He was sitting on the sofa in front of Director Lee desk. He turned his body to face another man in the room and gave his greetings.

Director Lee replied his bow with a little nod. While Mr. Lee smiled softly, tapped a space beside him, asked Kihyun to come “Good afternoon, Director Yoo. Come here”

Kihyun answered with a simple yes, he moved closer to his step father and sat at the sofa next to him. After Director Lee signed a document, he raised from his chair and walked towards the sofa they seated. He took a seat in front of them.

“So, what’s up Dad?” Lee Hoon casually asked his father.

Mr. Lee warned him, “We’re in company now. Although I’m not a CEO anymore, don’t call me by Dad here, Director Lee.”

“Oops. Okay. My bad. Then, Mr. Lee what bring you here? Would you tell us the reason of your sudden visit?” Hoon was still in his playful side. Mr. Lee could snap back at him but he choose not to. Another meeting was in schedule for him in an hour. He only side eyed his son.

Mr. Lee cleared his throat, “As you both know, we will host a charity ball with Mr. Han this very weekend. This was a bit unexpected, but I need you two to attend it with me.”

Hoon answered immediately, “You said we don’t need to come. I have another appointment” He protested.

Mr. Lee stared at him “I believe the appointment was another clubbing session with those leeches you called friend of yours. Cancel it”

Hoon tilted his head, raised one of his eyebrows, “You can’t just command me like that. I-“

Mr. Lee moved forward and pointed his finger to Hoon, “I can. You will attend the ball with me”

Hoon huffed, annoyed by the sudden order. He folded his hands on his chest.

Mr. Lee then leaned back to the sofa again. He took a breath deeply trying to calm himself. His eldest son always successfully getting on his nerves. After a few round of breathing, he said, “Mr. Han said he will bring his family, his spouse and daughter with him. It would be rude if I came with a secretary or a board member. It should be even when my wife and my children come along. I hope you can entertain her while the event is held. Being friend with her would be even better. I can count on both of you, can’t I?” He took a glance to his eldest then his youngest son.

Kihyun turned his head to face his father. He shortly replied with nodded and said yes. Hoon took a little bit longer to answered his father, but in the end, he also said yes.

Mr. Lee smiled, “Very well, Director Lee, Director Yoo. Now, I will excuse myself. You’ve worked hard. Have a good day” Mr. Lee stood up and took his leave.

Both of them stood up and bowed at him, then proceeded to take their seat again. Silence engulfed the office for a moment. Both were deep in thought about the incoming event.

Han Seokho, the owner and founder of the Han Contractor, a huge conglomeration company in South Korea. Han Contractor and SM Entertainment have so many projects together for years, they built facilities such as schools, health center and houses for children. Each year, they held a charity ball for funding the program.

No one made a sound before Hoon speaked. “I’m not going. You take her”

Kihyun was not sure about what he heard, he knitted his eyebrows, “What do you mean?”

Hoon said in a flat tone, “Marry her.”

Kihyun chocked on his breath, “Marry? It’s charity ball, not an engagement party”

Hoon rolled his eyes, “Still a long way to go but it’s the beginning. The final will be a wedding. And you, will take her as a wife”

_Unbelievable. Is this another joke? Not funny at all._

Kihyun was silent for a minute. Then he carefully asked, “Why me?”

Hoon raised his chin up, “Don’t you owe to our family? This is your chance to pay us back”

Kihyun answered back at him, “Wait. He didn’t say anything about the marriage whatsoever. Even if it’s true, then the marriage was meant for you”

“You’re so fucking dumb, Yoo. Years on it but still can’t grasp what he actually meant. Think about the sudden family gathering thing. The idea was never as innocent as having a ball for a way to fund our charity program. It’s always a business between businessmen, Director Yoo. There should be something to gain for them. And what is more profitable than having your business partner signed a lifetime contract such marriage?” Hoon chuckled sarcastically and shook his head.

Hoon hardened his gaze at Kihyun and added, “You’re also my father’s son, aren’t you? You’re the good boy, aren’t you? Why not be the good boy for your whole life? Marry her, be the saint”

Kihyun pleaded, “Hyung..”

Hoon speaked louder, he was more annoyed than before. His patience was running thin, “I’m not your hyung, you shithead. Don’t you ever call me hyung, you’re fucking moron”

Kihyun was shaken. He put his gaze down, he couldn’t see Hoon in the eyes, “I’m sorry. Director Lee..”

His gaze was squinting his eyes, he speaked firmly to Kihyun “You will go there and do as I say”

“Father will ask about you”

Hoon smirked, “Huh. Like I fucking care.”

“What would-“

“Shut your fucking mouth up. Why the hell you have so many questions? Go there, flirt with her and fucking her or whatever. Get the deal done”

“But...”

“Just fucking do it. Or should I do something to your man?”

Kihyun stopped, he stared back at Hoon. He said in whisper “What?”

Hoon place his hand on his chin, thinking “Hmm. What’s his name again? Hyunwoo?” He studied Kihyun, searching if he said the right name. Seeing Kihyun jerked up, he knew he’s right. “Ah, yes, Hyunwoo, the Monsta’s leader?”

Kihyun’s eyes opened wider, he clenched his teeth, “Don’t do anything to him.”

Hoon said in a amocking tone, “Or what? What will your little tiny fists will do?”

Kihyun didn’t answer him, he knew he couldn’t do anything against his step brother. “We broke up” He said it instead.

Hoon’s smiled widely, “Really? That’s great! That gay’s scandal won’t affect us”

Kihyun surrendered. He was practically begging, “Please, don’t”

“What news will be fitting him? Drug? Sexual harrasement? Or simply that he’s a gay? Wow. The industry will be shaking, don’t you think?” Hoon smirked.

Kihyun was worried even more, “What? No!”

Hoon growled, “Then do as I fucking say”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's kinda hectic here. I'm sorry again for the delay. I'm trying to write more but I'm sorry in advance if I couldn't update here frequently. T_T
> 
> please wait for the next update :')


	10. A Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “But you do. I should say this earlier. Congratulations, Kihyun” Hyunwoo said in whisper. He smiled, but didn’t reach his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy..!

Just like any other week, the days went so fast because of the busy schedule, nothing new. In a blink, it was already Saturday, the day when the charity ball was held. The other Director was in charge of preparing the event. The only thing Kihyun had to do was coming to the ball and accompany the daughter of Mr. Han. Not a hard task, actually. He met her when she was still a teenager, before she was going abroad to study. She was such a lovely girl. Hopefully she still is. And, maybe having a little champagne might be great addition.

He arrived earlier to check onsite preparation. He wanted to help if there any he could do, though after screening the hall once he knew his help was not very much needed there. He took a chair and sat down. He took a look around the room. The building was quite new, it has a modern and simplicity for its décor, mostly was black and white in color. The ballroom where the event was held was a medium size and had high ceillling. The chandeliers were hung in the middle of the room, the white carpeted floor mixed with a black stoned wall, added a sophisticated feels to the said room. There were gold painted furniture here and there. Kihyun memorized the detail of the design, it might be useful when he decided to change his furniture at home.

On the left and right side of the room, displayed many kinds of food and beverages. They were prepared in small bites for a starters before dinner would be served. While savoring the bite sized appetizers, the guests could also enjoy the beverages prepared for them. The round tables placed with eight chairs circling them, on each table there were names on it. Kihyun sat on one of the front tables that has his name. He was seated in different table with Mr. Lee, his seat was in the middle front. Hoon’s name was placed beside him. Kihyun thought that the seat would be empty, since the owner ditched the event. Then, he glanced at the names on his own table, Yoo Kihyun, Han Yeonwoo, the girl’s name, and then Lee Minhyuk and Chae Hyungwon. Oh, the pair was with him. When the situation got awkward, Minhyuk could always save him from it. Hopefully, it would run smoothly even without his help. The other four were unknown, there were no names.

_Who could it be?_

He heard someone called him, it wasn’t really a calling. More likely a screech, “Kihyuniiiee.” The man recognized his name on the table, “Oh, here’s my seat! Greeaat!” Minhyuk was approaching him at full speed. Abruptly took a seat on a chair on his right side. He was clinging cutely at Kihyun’s arm, shaking it lightly.

Hyungwon was trailing behind Minhyuk and sat down on Minhyuk’s right side, that made Minhyuk was sitting in between. He greeted and nodded, “Hey, Yoo”

Kihyun nodded too, “Good evening, Love birds”

Hyunwon side eyed him, “Typical Yoo. Why can’t you welcome us happily?”

Kihyun answered him, “Because I’m not?”

This time, Minhyuk rolled his eyes, “Please. You clearly are. We could save you for the day, you know”

“Don’t remind me” Kihyun slumped forward. He massaged his temple.

Hyungwon took a look around the room. He added, “You’re living in a whole different world from us. What century are you in? Arranged marriage. Pfff”

Kihyun reached for his arm and pinched it. Hyungwon could only do a silent scream, tapped at his hand to stop him, “Not funny, Chae. I don’t ask for it”.

Minhyuk saw them and smiled. He studied Kihyun then asked, “How are you feeling?”

Kihyun stopped pinching Hyungwon and retreated his hand. Hyungwon was glaring at him while stroking his arm to soothe the pain. Kihyun sighed, defeated. “I worry, confused, anxious, mix them all in this little body like mine, I feel like I’m about to explode. I know I’m overthinking about it. But, then again, I had a good reason being uneasy like this. In the other hand, it could be only as vanilla as a charity ball.”

Hyungwon and Minhyuk looked at each other. It was more serious than they thought. He was panicking.

“You can refuse it if you don’t want to” Hyungwon said.

“Do I have that choice? Refuse it? I’m adopted”

“If you say so, then you shouldn’t be worry much. It was meant for Hoon, don’t you think? It might be only a charity ball for you.” Minhyuk said while stroking Kihyun’s arm, attempt to calm him down.

“I do hope so, Min. But look! My name’s here instead of Hoon hyung. If it was for him, why did they put me on the same table with the girl?”

“Because you’re better host than Hoon?” Hyungwon was glancing up, thinking. “Beside, take a look closely. That table in the center is clearly screaming business, whatever the deal they’ll be discussing will be done there. They maybe want the daughter to enjoy the show, rather than involve in the work.”

Kihyun thought that it made sense. He was so hopeful that what Hyungwon said was the truth. Both of his friends were smiling at him.

“Anyway, baby. Have I said that you look great? I love the ash grey on you” Minhyuk said sweetly at Kihyun.

Hyungwon were not having it, he scoffed, “Twice, Minhyuk. You called him baby twice. Don’t make it three. Don’t even try”

Kihyun laughed amusingly at his friend, surprisingly felt lighter. Hyungwon was pouted, Minhyuk cooed at him, “Oh my sweet little Wonnie”. Minhyuk also pouted mimicking him, pinched both of Hyungwon’s cheeks, then kneaded them.

Kihyun put his hand to cover his eyes. “No, PDA please. Ugh”

Hyungwon smirked, “You’re just admitted that you’re jealous, tiny”

“Who are you to say that, giant?” Kihyun raised his eyebrows, mocking him.

“Was that supposed to be an insult?” Hyungwon put his tongue out.

Kihyun was so ready to fight Hyungwon before Minhyuk stopped him. The three friends were having a light conversation, bickering and laughing together. They didn’t give attention to their surrounding, not noticing that the guests slowly entered and filled the hall with their chattering. The talk was come into halt when Mr. Lee and his wife was approaching them. Hyungwon saw them first and stood up, he motioned Minhyuk and Kihyun to follow him. They bowed politely at them.

Mr. Lee smiled, then patted Kihyun’s shoulder, “You’re here, son.”

Kihyun was lowering his gaze at him, “Yes, Father.”

Mrs. Lee took her hand from Mr. Lee’s arm, then hugged Kihyun, “Our Kihyunie looks great”

Kihyun welcomed her, hugged her back and smiled, “Thank you, Mother. You look beautiful tonight”

Mrs. Lee pulled herself from his hug, glanced up at him and raised her eyebrow slightly, “Only tonight, my dear son?”

Kihyun chuckled, “I’m not done, Mother. You look beautiful tonight, like you always do”

Mrs. Lee patted his chest lightly, she smiled, “Nice safe, young man”

Mr. Lee smile lovingly at both of them as he treasured them so much. Then he looked left and right, “You’re alone? Where’s Hoon?”

Kihyun looked at his father, he shook his head, “I’m afraid he couldn’t make it today”

“That kid. I don’t know how to control him.” Mr. Lee sighed, “I wish he could tell me what I am lacking, so I could try to be a better father for him, instead of ignoring my request and rebelling like this“

Kihyun shook his head, disagree with him. He said slowly to the older, “You’re a great father for Hoon Hyung and I. I am grateful that you are my father.”

“Ah, you’re good with words. That warms my heart, thank you Kihyun ah. Is it too much to hope that Hoon is half good as you?” Mr. Lee chuckled, then he turned his head towards the other two. “Hi, Minhyuk and Hyungwon. Thank you for coming and fulfilling my invitation. You both look great. Please, take a good care of my son tonight. I’ll leave him in your capable hands” Hyungwon and Minhyuk put a smile at him and nodded. 

Kihyun was pouting, his father must be thought that he was still five years old, to make his same aged friend babysitting him. He stopped when he slightly turned to his left and saw a group of people were coming towards them. He recognized them, he fixed his suit and tie. He inhaled a deep breath, tried to calm the fast beating heart.

_They’re coming. Here we go. Yoo Kihyun, don’t mess up._

Mr. Han approached them and reached out his hand to Mr. Lee, he smiled at him widely, “Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. Lee”

Mr. Lee shook his hand, smiled at him “Good evening to you too, Mr. Han and Mrs. Han”. His eyes caught a young woman who was standing behind them.

Mrs. Lee looked and greeted her first, “And you must be Yeonwoo, right dear?” She motioned her to come, the said girl smiled shyly and moved closer to her. Mrs. Lee looked at her sweetly, “What a lovely young woman you are. You grew up so well. Do you remember me sweetheart?”

Yeonwoo nodded, “Yes, Ma’am. But, please forgive me, I don’t remember vividly”.

Mrs. Lee stroke her head, still smiling at her, “It’s okay dear. It’s been years”

Mr. Lee then took a chance to introduce Kihyun to them, “Mr. Han, let me introduce him. This is my youngest son, Yoo Kihyun. Kihyun, this is Mr. and Mrs. Han, and she is their daughter, Han Yeonwoo. If my memory served right, you’ve met couple of time years ago” Kihyun stepped forward and shook hand with Mr. Han and his wife, then Yeonwoo.

Yeonwoo smiled at him, shook his hand. She has met him before, but couldn’t remember whether they had properly introduced themselves to each other. She greeted politely, “Hi, I’m Han Yeonwoo”

He smiled back at her, “Hello, I’m Yoo Kihyun”

He stepped back to his place when he finished his greetings.

Mr. Han said, “Oho. His grip was firm. Mr. Lee you have a great son here”

Mr. Lee agreed with Mr. Han and smiled proudly, “I don’t have a doubt, Mr. Han”

Mr. Han added, “I believe this is our first meeting, Kihyun. But, I’ve heard about you a lot. I’m looking forward to our next meeting, preferred a more casual one.”

Kihyun nodded, “Yes, Mr. Han. I would love to”

Mr. Lee jokingly said, “When you do, please don’t take him too long, Mr. Han. His mother right here is quite jealous when someone take her son little longer than two hours”

Mrs. Lee elbowed his husband lightly, “That should only between us, dear”

They laughed at Mrs. Lee’s statement. Mr. Lee then said, “Let me take you to our table. Kihyun, please take Yeonwoo to her seat” He guided Mr. and Mrs. Han to their table.

Kihyun nodded and took her to a chair on his left side. She sat there and greeted the other two who was already there.

She smiled and bowed slightly since she couldn’t reach out to shake their hands, “Hi, I’m Han Yeonwoo”

Minhyuk and Hyungwon greeted her back, “Hello there, I’m Lee Minhyuk”

“Good evening, I’m Chae Hyungwon”

Yeonwoo nodded, stared at them one by one, “SME surely take only the best looks in the industry” She chuckled. Mihyuk and Hyungwon thanked her and laughed together with her.

When the laughed died down, Hyungwon excused himself and Minhyuk, “Please excuse us a minute. We want to check the snacks right there. We will back shortly. Is there anything you want? We could bring it for you”

Yeonwoo politely declined at his offer, “Thank you, but no thank you.”

Minhyuk and Hyungwon quickly got up and walked to the snacks table. They were checking which one they would have while giggling. They were thinking to stay around the table for a while and not come back before they got to taste each one of them. They praised themselves because they made such a clever decision to come here with an empty stomach. They stared each other, their eyes glinted funnily, silently screaming, time to finished them all! They laughed devilishly while taking a plate and started piling up the food.

Yeonwoo turned to her side facing Kihyun and said to him when the two left, “So, I guess, we’re stuck here?”

Kihyun chuckled, “I guess so. I’m glad we’re in the same boat”

They were laughing together, relieved that they felt the same.

Yeonwoo added, “It was actually my brother who was sent here. But, he thought Hoon oppa would be the one who come, so he declined the offer. If he knew it was you, Kangwoo oppa might be glad to come here”

Kihyun tilted his head in confusion, “Is that so? Why? Did he had something with Hoon hyung?”

“Hmm. Define something”

“Like a fight maybe, cold war, or a truce, so it’s better that they avoid each other’s presence.”

“Ah. Nope. They have nothing, it’s you”

“Why me?”

She shrugged, “Just because of Yoo”

“Was that a pun?”

“Yes.”

Kihyun chuckled, “You’re so easy to talk to”

Yeonwoo said, “Depends on whom I’m talking to. You’re one of them”

“Glad to hear that.” Kihyun took a glass of water in front of him, sipped a bit.

Yeonwoo looked at Kihyun. She was contemplating to talk to him, there was something bothering her. She looked at the other table. Their parents was discussing something, not paying attention to her. She lowered her voice, and slowly said, “Oppa, hmm, I can call you oppa, can’t I?” Kihyun only nodded, ”Oppa, this meeting was that meeting?”

Kihyun looked at her, she was raising her eyebrows. He sighed, he looked down, “Hoon hyung said so. I don’t know. I hope not.” He quickly glanced back at her, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offense you, really. it was more like I don’t like if they forced us to do this”

She nodded knowingly, “I know. It’s unfair for us if it’s true. For now, we could only play along, Oppa.”

“For now, yes. Let’s just enjoy the ball tonight.”

“Yep. It’s easier to think that way”

“Second that.” After he said that, Kihyun studied her. She might be smiling sweetly all the time, but if he looked closely, when nobody was watching, she was frowning. He bravely asked her, “A penny for your thoughts?”

Yeonwoo took a deep breath, “Was it obvious?” He hummed, then she added, “It will be great that it was only for a charity purpose. But, I can’t help to think that it will lead to something serious like a lifelong commitment. It’s them who do the business, why include us in?”

Kihyun couldn’t help but shrugged, “We’re the children, aren’t we? The heirs”

Yeonwoo was desperate, she was whining, “But, it doesn’t have to be a marriage, Oppa.”

Kihyun was surprised by her reaction, “Hey hey, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“No.” Yeonwoo huffed. She leaned her back to the chair, then folded her hands to the chest. She looked at Kihyun. Looking at his gaze, she just knew that she could trust him. Yeonwoo moved forward, she put both of her hands on the table, then stared at Kihyun. She said her thought carefully, “Kihyun oppa, actually, I had a fight with... my girlfriend before I came here. She didn’t like this” She made a circle with her hand.

Kihyun widened his eyes, shocked by her words. She had it worse than him. He reached for her hand sympathetically, stroked it with his thumb slowly, “I’m sorry.”

Yeonwoo weakly smiled at him, she shook her head, “You don’t have to. It’s them who need to apologize.” She paused for a moment. Yeonwoo cleared her throat, “Excuse me, do you have a lover, Oppa?”

Kihyun stopped his movement, he straightened his back, then answered flatly, “I don’t.”

Hearing that, the light bulb in her head was automatically on, Yeonwoo’s lips corner quirked up a bit, “Then, is there someone you like?”

Kihyun tilted his head, not knowing where this conversation headed to. Someone he like, there was always that one person in his mind. But, chose to cover it, he denied her, “Ugh, no. I don’t”

Yeonwoo jerked up, she clapped her hands excitedly, “Great!” She said cutely at him, with her puppy eyes staring at him. She shook his arm lightly, “Then, Kihyunie oppaa, can you just do it with Kangwoo oppa?”

_Okay? This is getting absurd in a second._

Kihyun asked dumbly, “Huh? What are you talking about?”

Yeonwoo pulled her hand, she moved around her hands left and right, here and there, following her explanation, “The arrangement thing. I know that we’re the ones who are presenting here now, but if they want to marry their children, it doesn’t have to be me and you, you know.” She lowered her voice, she took a look around, afraid that someone could hear her, “I have a girlfriend, I can’t left her to marry you or Hoon oppa. On the contrary, my brother doesn’t have a lover and so do you. He will refuse if it was with Hoon oppa. But, he will accept if it was you. The ones who will marry can be Kangwoo oppa and you. It will be a win win solution for us” She proudly told him her plan.

_What did I put myself into? Don’t tell me she’s serious about this._

Kihyun answered her groggily, he huffed, “Kangwoo-ssi is not even present and you’re here boldly make a decision for him.”

She said confidently, “He will agree. I’m 100% sure. You can trust me”

Kihyun looked at her suspiciously, “How do you know?”

Yeonwoo opened her mouth but shut it immediately. She raised her eyebrows, then she said to herself, fuck it, she rolled her fingers into a fist and answered him, “He likes you. Oh, dear. I can’t believe I need to spell it out for you. He’s been for a while and chose to keep it for himself. Yes, he’s that coward, I know. But, I can assure you he’s a good guy, the greatest guy you can have”

Kihyun chocked, “Wow. TMI.”

Yeonwoo pleaded again, “Oppa, please? Give him a chance. One is enough. He’s so smitten for you”

“We’re not that close. We met always at a meeting, a professional ones. How could he’s being smitten for me?”

Yeonwoo shrugged, “It’s called love, oppa. It happens naturally”

Kihyun chuckled, “You talked like you know everything”

“Oh, believe me I know. Not exactly about love but about my brother. He seems like he doesn’t care or not talking much but he can’t shut up when it’s you. He’s oh so whipped for you.” She was rolling her eyes. Then she was judging him, “By the way, you’re too calm for this news”

“Hmm? How should I react then?”

“I don’t know. People usually feel a little shy or embarrassed if the found out there’s someone like him. And this is my brother we’re talking about. Han Kangwoo, a respected Director and a crown prince of Han Contractor. Any other person would be doing anything to be his someone. You’re being indifferent is so unusual, I’m slightly offended.” She huffed.

Kihyun said nonchalantly, “I’m sorry for offending you. What can I say? Yes, I’m unlike others. And yes I’m a special guy indeed”

Yeonwoo dropped her jaw opened, Kihyun could only laughed at her. She said, “Oh my God. I’m speechless. What does my brother see in you?”

Kihyun acted hurt and pouted, “Hey..”

Yeonwoo thought he was cute pouting like that. She was giggling cutely, her eyes made a crescent shape. She was beautiful and like his mother said, what a lovely young woman she was. Looking at her, her giggles were contagious, Kihyun couldn’t help but laughed along with her. She’s fun to be with, they could definitely be friends, he thought. Their moments was interrupted by a voice.

A servant bowed at them and said, “Good evening, Miss Han. They’re here”

Yeonwoo stopped her giggles, “Oh yes. Thank you.” She was standing and welcoming the guests, “Hi, guys, good evening. Glad you made it here”

One of them, the tallest among them, answered the greeting, “Hi, good evening, Miss Han. Thank you for inviting us here. It’s an honor”

Yeonwoo nodded, “You’re very welcome. I’m a fan of your works. I’m looking forward what song you’ll perform today”

The other member said, “We’ll be performing our slow track to match this event more.”

Yeonwoo’s smile widened, “Very well, please do so. Ah, I almost forgot. Let me introduce you, this is Director Yoo Kihyun of SM Entertainment, he’s my partner. You’ll be joining us here with another two models from Esteem, later after you perform.”

_Fate surely is having a great time playing with us right now, yeah?_

Kihyun who was only standing still when they were talking, bowed at them when Yeonwoo introduce him. He took a look at each member except one person. The members greeted him almost altogether, “Hi, good evening, Director Yoo”

Kihyun coughed a bit, cleared his itching throat, “Good evening. I’m also looking forward to your performance.”

The tallest one looked at him and smiled, “Hope you’ll enjoy it”

Kihyun turned to look at him, and said flatly, “I know I will”

Yeonwoo nodded “I think it’s time for you to prepare for your stage” She gave a signal to the servant earlier, “Please take them to the backstage. They were schedule for opening”. The servant nodded and gestured them to follow him.

Yeonwoo said again at them “Let’s meet again shortly after”

The members were bowing at them and excused themselves.

Kihyun sat at his chair again, “Seriously? Inviting Monsta in a charity ball?”

She was surprised, “You know them?”

“What’s with your reaction? Well, yes I do. They’re my junior. I’m a singer too in case you forgot”

Yeonwoo took her glass and drank, then she answered, “I don’t. The industry is huge, I doubt you know each other, you both debuted in the different company. Besides, you’re actively promote as an actor more than as a singer, then you have a packed schedule within the company. That makes a less chance to know a junior. There were a lot new groups debuting at one time. But, I guess it’s better if you’ve known them already. It will make the conversation we’ll be having less awkward.” She added, “Despite being a shareholder in Kakao, I’m a fan. Actually, one of many reasons why I bought the shares was because of them. I do love their works. They’re so great as a performer. Although they mostly show their beastly side through their title tracks, their side tracks are all addicting. So, I thought why not invite them? I made a call and asked them to come. It such a pity that they can only perform two songs.”

Kihyun frowned. Out of all she was saying, he could only thought one thing, “Ah, you have shares”

“Yes, I do and I’m glad I bought them. I can put them into a good use” She chuckled.

Kihyun was nodding his head. The motion made his fringed fell down onto his forehead. Yeonwoo saw that, she reached her hand out and fixed it for him. Kihyun froze in his place at her gesture and let her did it.

Yeonwoo said when she finished, “There you go”

Kihyun smiled, “Thank you”.

The lights were dimmed, two mcs greeted them from the stage. The event was starting. Kihyun and Yeonwoo turned their sight upfront. Minhyuk and Hyungwon finally came back with bunch of snacks in one of their hand and champagne in their other hand, smiled shyly. Both Kihyun and Yeonwoo looked at each other, only shook their head and laughed.

Little did they know, a pair of eyes were looking at them closely.

“What are you looking at?” Hoseok asked, he turned his gaze following where Hyunwoo’s staring at. He sighed, “There’s also a chance that they’re only friend, Hyunwoo.”

Hyunwoo said in a low tone, “They look good together, don’t they? They’re both beautiful and heirs of a big company. What a perfect match” He smiled sadly, “I guess that’s his answer” He shook his head.

“Just because they have a similar background doesn’t mean they’re perfect each other, Hyunwoo” Hoseok said.

Hyunwoo closed his eyes. He couldn’t cry now. He breathed, “Don’t lie to me. I can tell you agree with me.”

Hoseok couldn’t answer him because what he said was the truth. He saw Kihyun and Yeonwoo was laughing together and it was indeed a beautiful sight to see. They’re both young and lovely. Added rich and famous to the list and that made people who was staring could only envy about them.

He knew Hyunwoo was low key prayed that he would meet Kihyun in the event. Although there was no record that Kihyun attending the said event from previous years, there was a slight chance that he would attend it this year. He was a board members after all. He might come and be his company’s representative.

Hyunwoo smiled when he spotted Kihyun in the room. But then Hoseok watched the smile Hyunwoo sported was turning into a frown when he saw Kihyun from afar, held Yeonwoo’s hand, then they were laughing together. He didn’t know what they were talking about but seeing Kihyun was smiling wide, he knew Hyunwoo was feeling hopeless. And when she said that he was his partner, he knew that Hyunwoo was ready to give him up.

Hyunwoo took a deep breath, he opened his eyes, gritted his teeth. He heard a crew called them, to standby beside the stage. He took a look at each of his members, their eyes were warm. They smiled knowingly. He smiled back at them softly, assure them that he’ll be okay, “Let’s go, guys”

Hyunwoo, Hoseok, Jooheon and Changkyun walked to the stage. They’re introducing themselves to the audience, giving their gratitude for the invitation despite being an artist from another company and explaining the songs they would be performing, the songs they knew Han Yeonwoo would like them. Yeonwoo was staring at them expectantly, her eyes sparkling. She was like a child with a candy on her hand.

Kihyun was far from delighted, he breathed shakily, “Underwater and By My Side”

Yeonwoo smiled widely, she was shrieking, “They knew! They’re genius! Exactly my favorites!”

Minhyuk looked at Kihyun’s expression. As expected, he didn’t look good. Minhyuk answered her to divide her attention from Kihyun. “They’re also my favourites. Glad they choose to perform it”

Kihyun glanced at Hyungwon. His friend smiled at him, he could only return a half smile at him.

_Can a black hole swallow me this very moment?_

The songs were also his favorites, honestly. He was there when they recorded the song, he was with them all along. Hyunwoo asked him to come and listen to him. It was months before they broke up, way before they were drifting apart. Good old days.

_Come on, Yoo. You can’t cry now. Not yet. Suck it up._

He held his head up high, breathed sharply through his nose and blinked rapidly few times. After a few attempt, he could breath normally now and relaxed for a little bit. He glanced to the performer on the stage. He saw Hyunwoo was staring at him. It hurt him, seeing that looked on Hyunwoo. His eyes were reflecting nothing, they were dark and gloomy, like he was dying inside. Kihyun furrowed his eyebrows, silently asked him, he was curious about what he’s thinking at the moment. Hyunwoo shook his head and smiled weakly. He closed his eyes.

_What were you- Did you?_

Kihyun shot his eyes at Hyunwoo again. Hyunwoo opened his eyes slowly. He was still smiling at him and nodded slowly.

_It’s okay Ki. I can understand._

Kihyun shook his head vigorously.

_No. It’s not like that!_

Hyunwoo was still having that look. It was shown clearly that he gave up on them. Maybe this was a sign that he should let him go. If, they were meant to be together, someday and someway, when fate was done playing with them, they would meet again. Hopefully.

_No, Hyunwoo. Shit, this can’t be happening._

Kihyun cursed himself. The tears were threatening to fall on his cheeks. He was glad that people were enjoying and mesmerized by their performance, nobody would look at him. Even if there was, he could say that he touched by their singing. It was indeed beautiful.

The performance ended shortly, with a big applause from audiences they bowed and excused themselves from the stage. Kihyun was preparing his heart and mind, Hyunwoo would be sitting in the same table as him. He should control himself.

Instead of the members coming at him, the servant from earlier greeted them.

“Miss Han, excuse me. Monsta’s manager asked me to passed it to you.” He handed over a piece of paper to her.

Yeonwoo took it and dismissed him. She opened the said paper, read the words written on it. She turned on her right, searched for something. When she found the one she was looking for, she nodded and smiled. She waved lightly. Kihyun turned his gaze in the same direction at her. He saw the members were bowing at her and taking their leave.

Kihyun asked, “What did it say?” He pointed at the paper.

Yeonwoo said, “It said that the company suddenly called them and asked them to return immediately. The recording was said to be taken earlier than the schedule.”

_That’s a fucking lie._

Kihyun stood up hurriedly, he snatched his phone on the table and run to the back of the room, he ignored the calling from Minhyuk and Hyungwon, asking where he went to. He sprinted to the front door of the hall where the members headed. When he was already outside of the room, he was searching left and right, he lost them. He cursed how could they walk so fast. Then he saw a glimpsed of them walked towards the elevator. He ran there, but when he arrived, the door were already closed. He waited to know which floor the elevator stopped, it was basement two. He opened the door to the emergency staircase and ran downstairs. He was dialing Hyunwoo’s number and kept praying that he would accept his call. He finally stepped onto the last stairs and quickly pushed the glass door, to the basement parking lot. He heard people talking in his left side, he spotted Hyunwoo. He put his phone in his pocket.

He shouted and ran towards him, “Hyunwoo!”

The man he called stopped on his track and looked behind him. He was opening his arms by pulse, ready to take a running man in front of him. He took Kihyun with a huffed, stumbled back a bit.

Kihyun was panting, catching his breath. He was bending down. He held the man’s arm tighter, knowing that he could slip and go away from him in any minute. Still looking down, He said, “Please, wait. I need to talk to you”

Hyunwoo stood still, he glanced over his shoulder to look at his members. He said to them to wait for a minute. The members nodded and waited in the car. They closed the door to give them a privacy they needed. Hyunwoo looked down at Kihyun. He said nothing, he patiently waited for him to talk.

Kihyun straightened his back, still panted but much better now. He was looking at Hyunwoo in the eyes, he was holding him still, he trying to explain to Hyunwoo, “I know what you’re thinking. But no. It’s not like that. She’s-“

Hyunwoo cut him off, “She’s your partner. I know. I heard it clearly”

Kihyun shook his head, “For the night. Only for tonight. Please, Hyunwoo, hear me out.” He was begging at him.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner? I could understand. I can see that both of you look so good together”

“No no no! It’s not like that!” Kihyun was shaking his head repeatedly.

Hyunwoo stared at his own shoes, avoiding Kihyun’s pleading eyes. He should be strong, he couldn’t be weak now. “I got your message, Kihyun”

Kihyun was screaming, he was desperate. He was stuttering, “Hyunwoo, please. It's not that. Then, why did I want you to stay for good if I have feelings for her?”

Hyunwoo shrugged, “I don’t know. You tell me”

Kihyun answered back quickly, his breath was uneven, “Yeonwoo and I are nothing, okay? It’s always been you for me. No one else, really. Please, let me explain. I don’t want to hurt you” Kihyun didn’t even care if anybody saw him crying.

“But you do. I should say this earlier. Congratulations, Kihyun” Hyunwoo said in whisper. He smiled, but didn’t reach his eyes.

Kihyun was taken aback, he was losing all of his strength, and graduately loosened his grip on Hyunwoo’s arms. Hyunwoo nodded slightly. He shook his arms, in attempt to free both of his hands from Kihyun. He turned his back, and walked into the car. Their manager was driving the car slowly, out from the parking lot. Kihyun could only stared at the moving car. His tears didn’t know how to stop rolling down on his cheeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for waiting, dear..
> 
> ah, this chapter is the longest so far. hope you like it ^^


	11. Disaster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was disaster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy~

Thursday. What a day. The only time Kihyun left his desk was for getting some water after about three hours reading, revising bunch of files that needed his approval. There would be a big project coming up next year. He needed to assess some idols chosen to be part of the upcoming group formed from the already debuted group, who would be the best to each of position. It needed so many deliberations before he came up with a conclusion whether one was the member they were looking for to be added in the team.

But, that could wait for a minute. He needed a breather. He raised from the chair and took his feet into a corner behind his desk, a square room, little secluded in the back of the room. He got inside the room and closed the door immediately. He leaned onto it while closing his eyes. He inhaled deeply to soothe the throbbing pain in his head. The time he opened his eyes again, he was welcomed by the view outside.

Two sides of the room was built with a brick wall, while the other 2 sides of it were full of one sided glass that served a hustling view of the city. Inside the room, in one side of the wall, there was a minibar, didn’t load with alcohol but various kind of coffee, tea, milk and chocolate instead. There were also granola bars, cereals and chips neatly placed whether he felt like to snack next to the minibar. The water dispenser and mini refrigerator were standing in the corner.

In another side of the wall, placed a sliding wardrobe with a full length mirror where he put some of his work attires and casual clothes there, along with some accessories, bags and shoes. Beside it there was a bathroom. A shower stall, sink and toilet, a functional bathroom when he needed a quick shower.

In the middle of the room there was a set of sofa that could transform into a bed, very much appreciated for the day like this. It was so tempting to lie and rest a bit but he reminded himself to just suck it up and leave early today.

He walked into the mini bar, but after a thought, he turned to the refrigerator, opened its door just because. He found beers, he didn’t recall when he bought them, or maybe Mr. Jung did. Anyway, beers really sounded so refreshing this afternoon. Then, he thought he had not had his breakfast, he should’ve not drank in an empty stomach, right? So, granola bar? What a combination, it could do for now. Kihyun took a can, grabbed a chocolate granola bar and walked across the room, he was standing in front of the glass window and staring the busy road below, absentmindedly munching his granola and gulping down his beer.

Blinking a few times, he realized that he finished both the beer and the granola, he sighed and turned his heels, walked to the door. He put the trash in the trash can and closed the door. Kihyun massaged his nape while walking to his desk, trying to focus on his task again. Soon, he was reading the reports carefully with a serious furrowed brows. His pen scratched here and there marking the words or sentence that needed to be revised.

“Good afternoon, Director Yoo”

Kihyun replied, held his head up to see the man standing not far from him, “Good- Ah, good afternoon, Mr. Lee.”

Mr. Lee took the steps closer and smiled, “It’s break time, come join me for a lunch, Kihyun ah.”

“Yes, Father. I’d love to. Could you please wait for a minute?”

“Of course.” Mr. Lee nodded and sat on the sofa. He brought along with him, the maids from his house. They bowed and prepared meals and cutlery on the table.

Kihyun peaked at the maids, curious why his father came with them. Seeing that the maids were preparing the foods, opening the lids of the container full of food, the aroma filled the room, he couldn’t stay working. He closed the report and decided to join his father. He slipped off from his suit and tie, then rolled up the sleeve until reaching his elbow. He walked slowly towards his father, he sat next to him, “Smells so good. What’s with this feast? Is there any special occasion?”

Mr. Lee smiled, he took a bowl of rice and gave to Kihyun, “There is none. It’s just your mother suddenly felt that today was such a perfect day to spoil you. She said your jawlines were getting sharper, she’s afraid they could cut open your fingers”

Kihyun chuckled, “Thank you for the meals” After that, they started to eat. Sound of approval could be heard from the start. Nodded contently, Kihyun was eating happily.

Mrs. Lee did spoil him rotten with her cooking. She made a samgyetang, Kihyun extended his spoon to take its broth, blowing it once and quickly sipping it to have a taste. He’s humming, it warmed his stomach and did suit the cool weather. There was also grilled chicken, she made it a little bit spicy. Kihyun hissed, put a spoon full of rice into his mouth, but still loved it nevertheless. Next dish was dumplings filled with chicken (again), he dipped it to its sauce, and yes, of course he smiled at the taste. The pancake and japchae placed beside them also contained chicken on their ingredient. Was it chicken season or what? Mrs. Lee made sure she put the chicken chicken chicken in every dish. Kihyun put a mental note to cook pork ribs for his mother, she loved it. He clearly forgot that he had snacks just few minutes ago, he devoured all his mother’s love right now.

After some moment, Mr. Lee asked, “How’s work, Kihyun?”

Kihyun cleansed his mouth with water first before replying, “It’s a little bit more hectic these days but we have it under control. We’re preparing for annual performance evaluation reports soon.” As soon as he had done replying, he took another piece of pancake.

Mr. Lee hummed, “Esteem needs your help, too. Keep an eye on them.”

“Yes. We have a team prepared for assisting them. We’re working on it”

“Good. You’re in charge until their new director is chosen”

Kihyun said, “Yes, Sir”

Mr. Lee turned his side to face Kihyun, “Don’t you miss acting, son? I heard about the calls came from production houses. Have you picked any?”

Kihyun nodded, coughed a bit then he replied, “There are some, yes. But, after reading the scripts, I must say that I was not quite interested with the projects they gave me. Besides, our team is on fire getting the work done. I think I need to prioritize here first, Father.”

“If you felt it suffocating, I could send some of your works to Hoon”

Kihyun firmly said, “It’s nothing that we can’t handle, it’s just I want to focus on here rather than shooting another drama or movie. Only for the time being, Father.” He smiled at his father. Mr. Lee smiled back at him and continue to eat. They ate in silence afterward until they finished everything on their plates.

The maids came back to clean the table. Both Mr. Lee and Kihyun drank water from the glass and put them on the tray, so the maids could pick them up at once. The maids bowed when the excused themselves and walked out of the room.

Mr. Lee cleared his throat, “Kihyun, there’s something I need to talk to you. Since you’ve been here for a while, you understand how we work, how we do business. I believe you know the reason why we gathered last week in charity ball”

Kihyun blinked, “I believed so”

Mr. Lee stared at his son, “The arrangement, in the beginning, was meant for Hoon and Yeonwoo. We wanted to talk about the plan with Hoon there and to know what he thought about it. That’s why he was seated with us. I asked you to come to accompany her during the event.”

“Ah, I see” Kihyun wandered his gaze around the room.

_It was. In the beginning. Is it not?_

“Another reason was because I know you have someone who dear to you.” Kihyun turned his head fast to see his father in the eyes. His eyes widened of the shocking revelation. Mr. Lee smiled softly, “Yes, of course I do know about Hyunwoo.”

Kihyun corrected his seating position, he stared at his lap, “I should’ve told you before. I am sorry I kept it from you”

Mr. Lee patted his shoulder, “It’s in the past, it’s okay. I know you have your own reason. I’m glad that he can make you happy.” He patted Kihyun’s shoulder one more time before added, “And I’m aware that you two are not together now.”

Kihyun jerked up a bit, he answered, “Yes.”

Mr. Lee pulled his arm from Kihyun, he leaned further in the sofa, “However, Hoon was not present in that event and lately we found out, after making quite a scene at the Han’s office, that Yeonwoo is in a relationship. I don’t quite know the details but she said it clearly.” He glanced at Kihyun, then continued, “You know, Kihyun ah. I feel like I’m heartless. Your mother disagreed, rejected the idea and yelled at me for it. But, I need to tell you this eventhough I know it’s not that long after you ended your relationship with Hyunwoo”

Kihyun took a sharp breath.

_Don’t tell me-_

“Kihyun, Mr. Han asked for you to be Kangwoo’s partner.”

Then, that very moment, Kihyun mind went blank. This couldn’t be happening. He quickly put himself back, he whispered, “The eldest son”

Mr. Lee nodded, “That he is”

Something came up in his mind, Kihyun said, “We’re both males, Father. We can’t give you grandchild to be your successor. Is that okay?”

“I and Mr. Han had discussed about that. We compromised that it was fine and adoption could be a way. We agreed that it doesn’t have to be blood related to be a heir, just like you are. The ceremony can be held here or abroad and attended by only our family and close relations. And don’t you worry about what people might say or If it could affect the company. No, we won’t let them do any malicious things to us”

Kihyun mouth gaped a little, he shut it and gulped. He said, “It’s so sudden, father. Please, give me time to think about it”

“Yes, Kihyun.”

Kihyun was in despair, he thought so many scenarios if he was taking Kangwoo’s hand in marriage. Would it be okay to come out and marry a man? In this conservative society? What about his fans, would they gladly accept him? What about his friends, his colleagues, would they still see him in the same light? The company, would it really be okay and not affect its business? What about himself, could he put his feelings aside, his dream of this happily ever after marriage with Hyunwoo like he always wanted? What about _Hyunwoo_? They secretly dated for years because honestly they wanted a quiet relationship without worrying people pointing fingers at them for being a gay couple. And now suddenly announced that he would marry, and marry a man at top of that?

Kihyun glanced to his father, “What if my answer were a no, Father?”

Mr. Lee softened his gaze at Kihyun, “Then, can I ask you to give it a try?”

Kihyun said, “Like a trial period”

Mr. Lee hummed, “Exactly like that. A month. If you stayed with a no, we’d talk about it again later”

Hoon saying the other day ringed in his head, Kihyun finally said, “If you want me to, then I will, Father.”

Mr. Lee smiled and stood up, “Thank you, Kihyun. One more thing, we’ll have a dinner with them tomorrow at 7, I have Mr. Jung cleared your schedule. Finish up your work and leave early, son”

Kihyun nodded, he looked at his father, “I will, Father”

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Kihyun stood before his mirror in his closet. He fixed his suit, he was wearing all black right now. Left only his tie, he decided not to put it on. He opened the top two buttons of his shirt, showing his beautiful neck. He combed his sleek black hair up, and put a light makeup to compliment his look this evening.

_“Can you just not come to the meeting?” Hyunwoo hugged him from behind. He sneaked both of his hands on Kihyun’s waist. Hyunwoo rested his chin on his shoulder, stared Kihyun’s reflection and pouted._

_Kihyun smiled and tapped Hyunwoo’s chin, cooed at this cute side of his lover, “I can’t, Hyung.”_

_Hyunwoo puckered his lips, “But, I missed you”_

_“Me too. Please wait for me, okay? I’ll come back here as soon as possible”_

_Hyunwoo beamed a little, “You promised”_

_Kihyun loosened Hyunwoo’s hands on him, he turned his back. He put both of Hyunwoo’s cheeks on his hands, glanced up at him, “You have my word”_

_Kihyun leaned and pecked his lips. That was enough for Hyunwoo to sport a wide smile._

Kihyun shook his head, it’s not the moment to recall the old times. He huffed before stepping outside and walked downstairs and met Mr. Jung. He was taking Kihyun to the restaurant where he would met Mr. Han family. The restaurant located at the highest floor in the most expensive building in Seoul. Earned two Michelin’s stars, Kihyun was sure that he could anticipate the taste. But, he doubt that he could enjoy the meals too caught in his own feelings. He had no appetite eventhough his stomach was grumbling, asked to be filled.

He arrived soon at the place and the waitrees took him to where the others had been waiting for him. He entered the VIP room, surrounded by glass and showed an amazing night view of Seoul. In the middle of the room placed a round dining table with six chairs. Mr. and Mrs. Lee then Mr. and Mrs. Han, and the last person was Han Kangwoo. There was an empty seat next to him. Sure, they would be seated next to each other.

Five of them looked at Kihyun and smiled, he bowed his head and walked to the table. His mother looked at him softly, her heart was heavy. But, seeing his son presented here, she thought he must have chosen to do this by himself. It eased her mind.

Mr. Lee welcomed him, “There he is”

Kihyun sat down, “I’m sorry for arriving late”. Mrs. Lee who was sitting on his left, patted his shoulder reassuringly.

Mrs. Han shook her head lightly, “Oh no, dear. It’s fine. You must have been held longer by work”

Mr. Han quickly asked the waiter to served the appetizer.

Kangwoo looked at him and greeted, “Hey”

Kihyun smiled politely at him, “Hi”

“You look great, Kihyun”

Kihyun took a look at Kangwoo closely. He was never studied him before, there was never a time to do that since they always met in the meeting room. He could catch Kangwoo’s details when he sat beside him like this. His dark brown hair styled up messily. The grey suit hugged his broad shoulders and tall figure perfectly, he loosened his top buttons. He has beautiful brown eyes and tall nose, tanned skin and plump lips. Oh, very much like his friend, Mingyu, their height might be the same, even when he’s smiling. While Mingyu was always active and playful, Kangwoo was in a more mature side, calm and quiet, Kihyun thought. “Thank you. So do you”

Kangwoo shifted in his seat, aware that Kihyun was checking him. He chuckled at his compliment, “Thank you”

Mr. Han started the conversation while staring at him, “Kihyun, thank for coming and join us here. It’s my pleasure to have you with us”

“The pleasure is also mine, Sir.”

“Since you agreed to fulfil our request, please call me Dad from now on.”

_The request. Of course._

“Alright, Dad.”

With that, Mr. Han laughed proudly, satisfied enough, “Very well. I don’t know someone call me Dad and I can be this happy”

They laughed together. Mr. Lee and Mr. Han continued their discussion further about their future project. The mothers were discussing about the reception, the color, how many people were invited to the ceremony and many little details about the wedding. While he and Kangwoo sat silently, weren’t so sure to join which conversation or to have their own. In the end, they were just sitting and savouring the meals without having a talk. The situation was already this awkward and uncomfortable around them, didn’t want to added another unuseful situation.

Mrs. Han turned to look at Kihyun. She reached her hands out to took Kihyun’s hand in hers. “Kihyun darling, please don’t keep us waiting, okay? We will set the date as soon as you say you’re ready”

Mr. Lee excitingly added, “I and Mrs. Han will take care of it. The hall, decoration, catering, the tux! Oh my God. We left the tux, Mrs. Han”

Mrs. Han chuckled, “How we could forget it, Mrs. Lee? Oh my”

Mrs. Lee smiled, “We’ll make it a memorable for you two, sweethearts”

Kihyun only stared back in confusion heard Mrs. Han and his mother ushered him about the wedding.

Mr. Lee laughed while looking at Kihyun, “Stop that, Yeobo. You scare my son. I mean, look at him”

She frowned when she looked at Kihyun again. Mrs. Lee sighed defeatedly and apologized at Kihyun. He smiled nodded once. Kihyun stroked his mother arm, assured her that it was okay. He was taken aback, but she didn’t need to be sorry.

When they had finished with the meals, Mr. Lee said, “Kangwoo, please kindly take him home”

Kangwoo nodded, “Yes, I will, Sir”

Mr. Lee furrowed his eyebrows, “Oh, come on. Kihyun already call your father, Dad. Please do the same for me too”

Kangwoo blushed a little, he said, “Ah yes. I will, Dad”

Mr. Lee laughed, “Thank you, son”

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Kihyun and Kangwoo walked side by side towards the lobby. Kangwoo’s red two-seated sports car already parked right in front of the lobby. He rushed to the passenger seat and opened the door wide for Kihyun. Kihyun smiled, thanked him and sat down. Kangwoo put his hand above Kihyun’s head to protect him bumped into the door frame. He also put a seatbelt for him, smiled contently when it fastened safely and closed the door.

Kangwoo said once he started the engine, “Let’s go”

Kihyun smiled and nodded. They chatted a little about works, still uncomfortable enough to talk about themselves, like a silent agreement. Kihyun was thankful that Kangwoo chose to turn on the music in his car. At least it was better when there was a background music. Other than that, Kihyun speaked only when he directed which way Kangwoo should take. Kihyun chose a shorter way, Kangwoo was screaming internally. Yes, he knew where Kihyun lived, he did a research before. He pretended to know nothing so that Kihyun would guided him, or simply he wanted to hear Kihyun’s voice. He didn’t speak much at the restaurant.

Honestly, since he knew which way to take, Kangwoo wanted to took a longer route, in attempt to streched out the time he spent with Kihyun. He tried to make mistake taking a different road or purposely taking the highway where it had no u turn in miles. But Kihyun guided him carefully. Speaked calculately so that he had enough time to turn the wheels left or right. Sadly, the ride was over too soon for his liking.

The car stopped in front of Kihyun’s apartment building, “Thank you for today, Kihyun. Thank you for giving us a shot”

“Uh, yes Kangwoo ssi.”

“Just call me Hyung” He pulled his phone and gave it to Kihyun, “Your number, please”

Kihyun punched his number to his phone, he answered, “Okay, Kangwoo Hyung. Here’s my number”

“Thank you. I’ll call you later. It’s pleasant to hear you call me that”

Kihyun unfastened his seatbelt, didn’t know how to reply to that. He said, “I’ll get back now. Thank you for the ride, Hyung”

Kangwoo nodded, he was a bit sad that Kihyun didn’t invite him over. Maybe next time he would. He called him again, “Kihyun ah“

Kihyun stopped and turned his head, “Yes?”

Kangwoo kissed his cheek in one swift motion. He surprised at the gesture and before he knew it, Kangwoo was already leaned back to his position. Kangwoo put his lovely smile, “Good night”

Kihyun could feel his cheek heated, he place his hand on it. Still bewildered, he answered, “You too, Hyung”. Kihyun hurriedly stepped out the car and walked inside his apartment building.

Kangwoo chuckled at the side of Kihyun embarrassed, anybody must have thought he was cute. He hummed, following the song played and drove his car back to his own home.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Kihyun stepped inside his apartment, put his shoes on the rack and walked inside.

“You’re here”

Kihyun gasped, he clutched his chest, stared at the owner of the voice, “What are you doing here?”

Kyungsoo scoffed, he took a bag of chips and a beer, he walked outside the kitchen to the living room, “I’m your guest. Show me your hospitality”

Kihyun rolled his eyes, he took another can of beer from his refrigerator then followed Kyungsoo, “Keep dreaming”

“Meanie”

“I am”

Kyungsoo jumped and sat on the sofa, he set the pillows, “Where were you? I heard you leave early today. I thought I’d find you here, but the house was empty”

Kihyun plopped next to him, he opened the can, “Dinner”

“Good?” Kihyun shrugged, Kyungsoo asked again, “Dinner? With who?”

He gulped twice, he loved the bitter taste, “Family”

Kyungsoo tilted his head, “Family? Who- OH” He suddenly remembered the important information.

Kihyun answered nonchalantly, “Yes. Oh”

“Sucks to be you”

“Thank you”

Kihyun and Kyungsoo stayed in silent. They stared ahead, at the big TV screen, it yet to be switch on.

Kyungsoo said, “They’re moving fast. Desperate enough, huh?”

Kihyun bited his lower lip, “They are. What’s the rush? I don’t get that”

“Or Kangwoo was just too whipped for you”

Kihyun shook his head, no clue, “Don’t know”

“What does he look like?”

“Mingyu”

“Seventeen’s Mingyu?”

Kihyun breathed, he leaned further back onto the sofa, he hugged the pillow near him, “Pretty much like him”

“You knew him?”

“Met a few times, business related”

“Today’s dinner, how was it? Did he drive you here?”

“It was awkward. We didn’t speak much but okay. He did drive me here”

“Oh, handsome, rich and totally whipped. What else do you want?”

Kihyun stared at Kyungsoo, deadly, “Seriously, Soo?”

Kyungsoo was serious, “Someone should say it, don’t you think?”

“Huh?”

“Move on, Ki. How long will you clung into your memories with Hyunwoo? He’s not around anymore. Enough. You’re torturing yourself by holding on something that was already gone. And now, there’s someone who is willingly love you. I’m not saying that he’s the perfect one for you, I haven’t met him. But, open up. Let him in”

“You’re here for that, aren’t you? It’s not purely by coincidence, is it Soo?”

Kyungsoo shrugged in response, “Who knows?”

“Well, I’m willing to try. A month trial period with Kangwoo”

“You don’t. Don’t even try to lie to me, and don’t give me that look. I know you. You keep your heart shut from anyone other than Hyunwoo.

Kihyun closed his eyes, “I don’t know how to, Soo. He has me”

Kyungsoo said firmly, “Had. Past tense. Let him go, Ki.” Kyungsoo shook his head, his hand reached out for stroking Kihyun’s hair. He knew his bestfriend here was almost crying, he tried to hold it in by closing his eyes.

Kihyun was trembling, he said in a shaking voice, “I hate this. I felt like I’m cheating on him. I was thinking that it should’ve been Hyunwoo who drove me home, but it’s not. And I hate this feeling, Soo”

Kyungsoo shushed him, patted his head. Telling him that he should not felt that way. Kyungsoo told him to take a deep breath while he moved to take a glass of water from the kitchen.

Kihyun heard a ring from his phone. His manager was the one who called, before he greeted him, his manager shouted, he was panicking, “Kihyun-ah? What with the news?”

“What news, Hyung?”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Watch the news now! You’re everywhere”

Kihyun pointed the remote control on the sofa across him, and said to Kyungsoo who was walking back to the livingroom, “Turn on the TV, Soo”

Kyungsoo took the remote and turned the TV on. He didn’t need to changed the station, it’s showing the news they wanted to know. The headline news in entertainment section was about Kihyun, about Kangwoo, about their family meeting, about the wedding plan and about the implication of their wedding to their companies’ business in the future. The announcer was explaining the news swiftly, accurately, like she was already knew everything and it was not something so secret anymore. The news was supported by their photos taken today at the restaurant. Showed their family arrived at the same time and the photo of him arriving belatedly. Then, the photos after the supper. Shown in the big screen when Kangwoo opened the car door for him and he smiled to say thank you. They followed them until his apartement building.

_Oh my God. No._

They also took tons of pictures of Kangwoo kissed his cheek earlier in the car. The pictures were not clear enough, looked like they were kissing. They captured the smile Kangwoo sported before drive his car again.

Kyungsoo mouth gaped, he was shocked, “How-“

Kihyun speaked lowly, “What the hell?”

His manager shouted, “Exactly!”

Kihyun answered, “I- I’ll call you later, Hyung.” He looked at Kyungsoo who was also shocked.

_This was disaster._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi hi. thank you for waiting.. I must confessed that I was not satisfied with the plot I wrote before, and after revising here and there I came up with this. hope you like it.. ^^
> 
> I'll try to update again sooner! have a good day, dear


	12. Let Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoy it!

Kihyun heard his front door burst opened. Hurried stomping steps followed by. He turned his head at the two people barging into his apartment. He furrowed his brows, didn’t remember gave them his password. Still shocked over the headline news before, Kihyun could only stared with a blank expression. Kyungsoo stayed silent beside him, he was close with both of the newcomers but it’s better to say nothing right now.

“What the fucking hell, Yoo?” Hyungwon roared, he could not control his anger. Minhyuk followed him from behind, he was trying to calm his boyfriend down, but who could tame an angry storm? Hyungwon held his fingers into fists, his breath was ragging, his eyes stared dangerously at Kihyun.

Kihyun looked at him in the eyes, answered, “What do you want me to tell you?”

“Don’t fucking act stupid in front of me” Hyungwon was shaking. Minhyuk squeezed his own hand, didn’t know what to do. He wanted to hold Hyungwon, but he knew he would trash him away. He looked at Kyungsoo in attempt to seek for help, but Kyungsoo shook his head, silently asked him not to interfere those two. At least not now.

Hyungwon showed his three fingers in front of Kihyun, “Three months! The news stated that you’ve dated that Kangwoo guy for three months! That explained why you were cold to Hyunwoo Hyung for a while. You’re such a dick”

_Three months? What the-_

Kihyun didn’t catch that from the news. That’s messed up more. He missed it, “What? I didn’t hear that”

Hyungwon scoffed, “You didn’t deny it”

“No! That’s not true, you know it”

Hyungwon sighed, “I thought I knew you, Ki. But, I don’t know anymore”

Kihyun desperately answered him, “Hyungwon, no. That’s bullshit! The news twisted it”

“Okay. Let’s say that the three months was not the truth. It’s not even a month since you’re breaking up with Hyunwoo Hyung. And what now? Engage? Wow. Yoo Kihyun is on a roll” Hyungwon chuckled sarcastically.

Kihyun pulled his hair, it’s so frustrating, “It’s not! It was still in the discussion. Nothing is decided yet. I’m trying to cut it off”

“But, as for now you’re engage to him?” Minhyuk was the one who asked timidly.

“We’re not engage, Minhyuk ah. We’re in a.. trial period.” Kihyun swayed his hands, hardly find the word to explain to those two.

Hyungwon looked at his friend closely, the lines on him frowned intensely, “Why didn’t you refuse them in the first place? No need the trial period thing” Hyungwon lowered his voice now. Deep down he knew that Kihyun wouldn’t lie about this. He understood that this was such an unfair situation to his friend. He tilted his head.

Today was exhausting, Kihyun’s energy was drained, he slumped on the sofa. His friends were surrounding him. Minhyuk held him in his arms, Hyungwon sat on the next sofa, Kyungsoo on his left. Kihyun messed up his hair, “I tried, Won ah. I tried, but Father suggested that I need to try open up with him for a month. If my answer still a no, then we’ll talk about it again later”

Hyungwon sighed, he felt bad for his friend, “You know that would be mean he didn’t take a no as an answer, don’t you? He will still ask you again and again for another trial period until you’re too tired to say a no”

Kihyun shook his head, “I- I don’t think Father is that kind of person”

The other three exchanged a knowing look. Kihyun sometimes was too good and too innocent for the world. They knew that Kihyun had a hunch about this but he chose to cover his eyes and ears. They sighed, the time when Kihyun finally accept the fact would be the time he broke down. They couldn’t prevent it to happen, but they would be there for him. They shook head, then Minhyuk patted Kihyun’s shoulder, while kissing his head. Kyungsoo looked at his feet, played with his toes, he was thinking how to sort this out. Hyungwon gritted his teeth, he didn’t like where this would be going. No one was saying anything, they were busy in their own minds when Kihyun’s phone rang, surprised them all. Kihyun saw the caller, Lee Hoseok.

“Hello, Hyung”

Didn’t even greet him back, Hoseok hissed, “I’m so dissapointed in you, Kihyun”

Kihyun was getting teary, not again, “Hyung, please. It’s not like that”

“Seemed like I was wrong seeing you’re a good person for Hyunwoo”

A tear rolled down his cheek, “Can’t you please hear me out?”

“Good luck on your engagement, Kihyun. I hope you didn’t bother Hyunwoo anymore.”

“Hyung-”

“I’m fucking serious, Yoo Kihyun. Enough hurting him. Don’t test me”

Kihyun heard someone talked to Hoseok. Hoseok put the phone far, and cover it with hand so he couldn’t hear them. But, he could hear it clearly. His breath hitched knowing exactly whose voice is that.

“ _Who is that?”_

_“No one”_

_“Hmm.. Your face is red, Seok ah. What’s wrong?”_

_“Nothing, get out”_

_“Hey, I’m talking nicely”_

_“Then, mind your own business Hyunwoo. Get out of my room”_

Then, rustling sound was hear. Kihyun thought if he wanted to speak to Hyunwoo, he should hav enot waited any longer. This was the perfect time to do it. He was not thinking furthermore when he took his breath deeply and then shouted his lungs out, “HYUNWOO HYUNG!” That was loud enough to make Hyunwoo stopped in his track. He shifted, turn his back to face Hoseok.

_“That’s Kihyun?”_

_“I told you-“_

_“Give me your phone”_

_“Hyunwoo-”_

_“Now, Seok”_

_“Don’t cry at me later”_

_“Out and close the door”_

Yes, Kihyun heard all of that. Knowing that Hyunwoo would speak to him, he took a look around, mouthed that he would leave first, looked at his friend apologetically then proceed to run upstairs to his bedroom. He locked the door and sat on his bed. He went inside the blanket and then hugged a pillow. He was steadying his own breath while waiting for Hyunwoo to speak first. His heart was thumping so fast.

“Kihyun-ah”

Kihyun smiled at the call, “Hi, Hyunwoo Hyung”

“Uh. I want to say sorry. Hoseok was kind of going overboard with this”

“Oh no. It’s okay. He’s.. not at fault. It’s mine, actually”

“Seokkie was going overboard. Hope you can understand him”

“He’s not. It’s understandable why he did that”

“Uhm, it’s awkward.” Hyunwoo chuckled lightly, he hummed didn’t know where to start, “Anyway, I’m sorry that first I thought it’s Yeonwoo when it’s actually her brother. I-”

Kihyun cut him, “Three months they said was falsely reported, Hyung. They’re making it. I didn’t know why they said that. It’s true that I’ve met him before but purely for business purpose. Only.. tonight I met him in an occassion other than that. And we’re not engage. They’re really messing up”

“But, you will eventually”

“No. I want to break it off”

“How? You still can’t say no to your father”

Kihyun stopped, he sighed and said lowly, tried to convince both Hyunwoo and himself “I’ll find a way”

Hyunwoo sighed, “You do you, Kihyun,” Hyunwoo continued, “You know. You don’t have to explain it to me”

Kihyun shook his head, “I should, Hyung. They said I and Kangwoo have already met for three months when in fact I.. We were still in relationship. I don’t want us to have any misunderstanding.”

“Actually, I didn’t catch how long you’ve been together”

“We’re not hyung. We’re not”

“Okay okay. But, listen, Kihyun ah. I guess I need to say it to you. I’ve let you go, Kihyun. I want you to do it too. Please, don’t hold on our memories anymore. The time I spent with you was beautiful and endearing for me. we had our ups and downs together and I will forever be grateful to you. But it had come to end. It’s okay to move on and be happy. I’ll be happy for you too. Live well”

Kihyun said sternly, he didn’t like how it went, “I’m not done, Hyung”

“Good night, Kihyun”

Kihyun was fumming, his veins were shown on his neck. He sat up, straightened his back and shouted, “I said we’re not done yet! You can’t just hung up on me like that! Here’s a thing, Hyung. You always have your own thought, in your own perspective. You didn’t bother to see it from mine or others. And you keep your own believe, keep it for yourself. Didn’t listen and speak to anyone, didn’t even try to find out why it happenned in the first place. You always thought it was your fault, that you didn’t deserve to have better treatment. I’m sick of that.”

Hyunwoo said in tiny voice, “Good choice to break up with me”

Kihyun groaned, “You’re having your own perception again!”

“What else should I take your words, then?”

“Take pride for yourself, Hyung.”

“You can say that because you have everything, Kihyun.”

Shaking his head in disbelief, Kihyun asked, “What?”

“Everyone wants to be in your position”

“I didn’t have it for free. You know how I crawled to my position like right now. You were there all along”

“But, some people give everything and struggle like you but still go nowhere”

“I don’t get it. What do you want to say?”

“I’m nothing compare to you. I don’t deserve you”

“I-“ Kihyun mouth was hanging opened. Then, he sighed and massaged his temple, soothed his throbbing head, “Oh God. Here we go again”

“Maybe we- we can try as a friend. Kangwoo is a better man for you, Kihyun”

Kihyun choked, he didn’t want to hear that he would be better with Kangwoo, not from anyone, escpecially Hyunwoo. This is the worst, “How do you know that I’m better with him? Don’t you know what I want, Hyunwoo? I want you, and only you for a long time. Shit, even when you try to push me away like this I still want us to be together again. A friend? I spent years with you as a couple more than as a friend, I don’t know how to act like a friend with you.”

“Then why you let me go that time?”

Kihyun answered it, “Because you wanted to. We promised not to say break up if we didn’t mean it”

Hyunwoo said flatly, “I meant it”

Kihyun clearly not having it. He raised his voice, “Yes, that’s why I granted your wish. You meant it at that time, then after we broke up you’re trying to approach me again, you’re confusing me. Why did you do that? Then, when I thought we had a chance to be together again, you brushed me off. What do you want? Were you playing with me? You’re so selfish Hyunwoo, you know? You know that I love you. I love you so fucking much it hurts me. I don’t know how I should prove it to you. Were these years nothing for you, not enough to show you how much you mean for me?” Kihyun was practically shouting at Hyunwoo over the phone, “Alright. You want to play, then let’s play. You wanted me to move on and live happily. Well, fuck I’ll do that. Live for a long time so that you can watch me grow happy, successful, and living the best of my life without you.”

Kihyun hung up the phone and threw it on the bed harshly. He was pacing around his room with both hands on his waist. He was angry, with ragging breath he walked towards the bathroom. He needed a cold shower to lower his boiling blood.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Kihyun was awaken by the ringing bell. He opened one of his eyes, his hand search for his phone to look at the time. it was still early, 9AM. He groaned and burried his face further into the pillow. It’s Saturday, he could sleep for a couple more hours if not because that someone who popped up suddenly in this early morning. The bell stopped ringing, Kihyun huffed and thought that his guest was probably gave up and went home. He hummed contently and tried to add more hours to his beauty sleep. Not until, the bell was ringing again. He whined and kicked the blanket. Stomped his feet out of the room and stepped downstairs. When he passed through a guest room, he peeked inside. His friends were not there, they must have went home after he retreated to his own bedroom.

Kihyun didn’t even try to check himself on the mirror to welcome the uninvited guest. With an annoying look, he opened the door.

Smiley face was shown before him, “Good morning”

Kihyun was surprised to find who was bothering his slumber, he awkwardly replied, “Uh, good morning”

The person tilted his head, Kihyun was replying his greetings but froze in his spot, “Can I come in?”

Kihyun brought back into the reality by the man’s voice, “Uh, sure Kangwoo Hyung. Come on in.” He moved to the side to let Kangwoo in.

Kangwoo smiled again and stepped inside the apartment, “Thank you”

Kihyun couldn’t contain his curiosity, after closing the door, he jogged to where Kangwoo was heading, the kitchen, and asked, “How do you know about my place, Hyung?”

Putting the groceries down on the kitchen counter, Kangwoo said, “I asked the receptionist. She kindly let me know your unit’s number. Almost predictable since it’s WithYoo’s birthday. You do love your fans that much, yes?” He was checking all the drawer, try to find and memorize which utensils and where their place were. When he found what he needed, Kangwoo pulled them out and place them on kitchen counter.

“Well, I was fortunate that the number was available at that time.” Kihyun shrugged, eyeing Kangwoo, “What are you doing Hyung?”

Kangoo smiled. He took out the ingredients and washed them. Placed them on the cutting board and start chopping them, “I’m making us breakfast. Seeing you, you sure haven’t eaten yet” 

Kihyun suddenly aware about his appearance, combed his hair and fixed his clothes. And just like a cue, Kihyun’s stomach made a sound. Impulsely he tried to cover the sound but failed miserably because Kangwoo heard it. He chuckled. Kihyun grinned, “Bingo. I tend to oversleep for the weekend”

Kangwoo stopped his doing, “Oh, I’m sorry to disturb your sleep time. But, don’t you need to go somewhere?”

“Huh? Where?”

Kangwoo doubted his memory, “Visit your parents?”

“Visit.. ? Oh my God! How can I forget?” Kihyun slapped his forehead, cringed by how hard he did that.

“Go take a shower, I’ll take care of this”

Kihyun patted his shoulder, “Thank you for reminding me Hyung”

“No problem. Just get ready”

Kihyun hesitated but too bothered to stay silent, “Wait.. How did you know that I always visit them on this date?”

Kangwoo gave him a look “Well, I have my own way. Hurry up, Kihyun”

“Okay okay” Kihyun shut his mouth, didn’t try to ask him further and ran upstairs. He made sure to be ready as soon as possible. The memorial building where his parents’ urns were kept were a little bit far from the city, took about an hour driving when the traffic was not jammed. He visited them always at midday, no particular reason really. it’s just that he liked to speak a lot with them, could take hours and he didn’t want to be too late when he got home.

After showering, Kihyun put a simple button up white shirt and black trousers. He chose a long coat to be wore later when he got outside and draped it over one of his arm. He styled his hair loosely let it fell and covered his forehead. He chose to not wear any accessories. He checked his reflection in the mirror once again. An older self of the young Yoo Kihyun when his parents left him. He hoped that his parents were proud of this Yoo Kihyun. He took his stuffs and walked towards the kitchen. He could smell the delicious aroma.

“Smells yummy. I don’t know that you’re a good cook” He said to Kangwoo while putting his stuffs on the chair beside him and his coat on the backrest of the chair he was sitting before sat down. The plates and cutlery had been prepared on the dining table along with the salad and the spicy stewed chicken. He waited Kangwoo to finish the kimchi fried rice. He eyed the menu and gulped. What a feast .

Kangwoo looked over his shoulder, “I can do this much”

“You standard of this much is great, Hyung. How long until that done?” Kihyun craned his neck to see the pan.

Kangwoo turn off the stove, he took the pan, and walked to the table, “Hungry much? It’s done” he said while arranging the pan on the table and sitting down in front of Kihyun.

Kihyun excitedly clapped his hands together and squeaked, “Yeay! Thank you for the meal!” he started by tasting the spicy stew. He hummed.

Kangwoo smiled contently, “Eat a lot”

“Whoa Hyung. It’s so good” He said while opened his eyes wide, clearly surprised that the food was exceptionally tasty.

Kangwoo smiled showing his crinkled eyes, “Glad you like it”

Kihyun nodded, he was too focused on his plate, “Of course. It’s chicken”

Kangwoo stared at Kihyun’s cheeks full of food, he couldn’t help but pinch it, “Cute”

Kihyun pouted, he finished his food first before said, “That’s a no no. I’m not cute. And you should start eating hyung. I’m sorry but I need to go and you need to leave shortly. I’ll be late”

Kangwoo retreated his hand and started to spooned the fried rice to his mouth, “You mean WE will be late” He stopped for a moment, then he turned his gaze to Kihyun, “The reason why I came here was not only to make you breakfast, Kihyun. I want to meet your parents. Let me come with you”

Kihyun was stunned. He didn’t expect Kangwoo would ask to come along with him and personally want to greet his parents. It was always Hyunwoo who came with him, but given the situation, clearly he couldn’t ask him to. Going with Kangwoo, he hated that he felt like he was cheating, really. The guilt was creeping eventhough he was not in any sort of relationship right now. This time would also be the first time he visited his parents without Hyunwoo after they met. It felt like so out of the place.

Kangwoo swayed his hand before Kihyun, “Kihyun ah?”

Kihyun blinked a few times, remembering what he told Hyunwoo last night. Let go and move on. “Ah sure hyung. Hurry and finish the meal”

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

“Hey Mom, Dad. Kihyunnie’s here” Kihyun place tiny flower bucket on each of his parents’ place. He closed his eyes and started to greet them in silent and prayed for them. Then, he opened his eyes, staring at his parents’ urn longingly and sighed.

_I’m sorry Hyunwoo Hyung couldn’t be here. We.. broke up, Mom, Dad. I was so full of myself when I told you that he would be the only one who will accompany here to greet both of you. But, here I am now. Without him. Please, don’t tell me I’m messing up. I knew that already._

Kangwoo cleared his throat and bowed, “Good afternoon, Mr. and Mrs. Yoo. I’m Han Kangwoo. My pleasure to meet you. I know you’re watching us from above and I know you do know about the reason why I came along with Kihyun visiting you here.” He took a deep breath, “I love your son Mr. and Mrs. Yoo. I knew him not that long but I knew what I’m feeling for him is real and sincere. I’ve never been so sure with anyone before Kihyun. He’s the missing piece I’ve been searching for. And with me coming here, I want to personally ask your permission to take Kihyun as my husband. Kihyun’s still not sure about us, but I know someday he will open up for me and take my hand to the altar. I promise to love him and take care of him with my life. You have my word”

Kangwoo was hiding a lot of surprises and never failed to make Kihyun taken aback. He stared at him, confused. Love? That was such a big word. And ask a permission to marry him? That was another surprised. Where did he pick up the bravery to propose in front of his parents like this?

Kangwoo turned to Kihyun, “I’m serious Kihyun. I meant every word of it. it’s never too soon to love anyone. I didn’t think it’s possible but it is with you. Put your doubt aside and open your heart for me”

Kihyun let Kangwoo walked closer to him, then trailed his hand over his face, his cheeks and his jawline. Kangwoo smiled, his gaze was sweet and lovingly, Kihyun knew that he was baring himself, showing the truest form of himself for Kihyun only.

Kangwoo asked, “What do you say?”

Kihyun gulped, Kangwoo’s hand was reaching his neck, stroked his thumb slowly, “I need time, Hyung”

Kangwoo let out his breath, chuckled, “Thank you so much” He kissed Kihyun’s forehead, inhaled deeply the smell of the shampoo on his head. He pulled back to see Kihyun’s face, he speaked softly, “I love you”, then hugged him tight, burried his head and smiled on Kihyun’s shoulder.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

“You don’t have to, Hyung”

“You’re welcome, Kihyun”

Kihyun rolled his eyes, “You always have a word to reply me, don’t you?”

They arrived at Kihyun’s apartment when it’s time for dinner. Apparently, Kangwoo already planned to spend the whole with Kihyun and cook dinner for both of them. He brought all the ingredients he needed when he arrived this morning and left them in the fridge. Kihyun wanted to repay him by cooking him dinner, but Kangwoo firmly said he should have sat down and watched him did it.

Kangwoo laughed, “I like watching you eat. Now, I knew why your fans called you hamster. It means more if that’s the food I prepared for you.”

Kihyun bit back, “I’m a shark! But alright, you won. You clean the dishes though”

“I do both the cooking and cleaning the dishes?”

Kihyun folded his hands, “At first, I was going to make you wash the dishes only, but you insisted to cook. So, yes you do both”

“Anything for you, babe” Kangwoo saw Kihyun gave him a look, “Too soon?”

Kihyun coughed and nodded, “Too soon”

Kangwoo raised his eyebrows, “Okay” He stole a kiss from Kihyun.

Kihyun gasped, he put his hand on his cheek where Kangwoo pecked earlier, “Just do the cooking!”

Kangwoo chuckled behind him. Kihyun left the kitchen to change his clothes into something more casual. A tshirt and sweatpants. He contemplated to bring the clothes for Kangwoo, it must have been uncomfortable for him to wear those formal dress a whole day. But, giving him his clothes, wouldn’t that mean he wanted him to sleep over? Oho. No. Not yet. He shook his head.

Kangwoo looked Kihyun coming closer at him, he tilted his head, “I thought you would bring clothes for me to change?”

Kihyun raised his eyebrows, trying to act like he didn’t know what he was talking about. Refused to think the same few moments before, “Why should I?”

Kangwoo shrugged, “For a pajama party?”

“If even calling by a petname was too soon, what would a sleep over be?”

“Okay! I got the message. Why so cold?”

Kihyun narrowed his look, “Cut it off.” Kihyun sat on the chair, looked at Kangwoo’s back who was busy preparing the meals.

Kangwoo could only laughed. Kihyun was too adorable when he annoyed like this. Could he be bored when he was this lovely? Never. He whistled and hummed a song while flipping the steak onto the other side. He checked at the mushroom sauce and stirred it so it wouldn’t be burned. He took the plates, arranged the vegetables and fries on the side. Then, he placed the steak in the middle and poured the mushroom sauce on top of it. Satisfied with the appearance, he took both of the plates and brought them to the table, put one in front of Kihyun and one on his side. Kangwoo took a bottle of wine he also brought earlier, popped the corks open and poured for him and Kihyun.

Kihyun was watching every single movement Kangwoo in an awe. He didn’t know Kangwoo was preparing this much. From visiting his parents, the proposal, until the dinner. He knew he also prepared about the sleep over thing but yes, it was too soon. His heart couldn’t handle the roller coaster emotion he felt these couple of days.

And he couldn’t hide the truth that he was touched by every little thing Kangwoo did for him. He was so sweet. Kangwoo gave everything that made him felt he was precious. He felt good.

Kangwoo smiled, “You’re smiling. I guess that means I did a good job?”

Kihyun jerked, he was unconsiously smiling at Kangwoo. He cleared his throat, “Uhm, whatever make you sleep better at night”

Kangwoo laughed, he shouted a yes and curled his fingers onto fists. Kihyun chuckled together with him. Kangwoo continued, “Come have a taste. Let’s see how you like it”

Kihyun cut the steak to a tiny piece, he hummed, “It’s so good hyung”

Kangwoo smiled so wide and his eyes formed into crescents, “Thank you.”

They ate slowly, chatted this and that about light stuffs. A hobby, a favourite menu, a book to read, a place to visit, and a dream job they had when they were little. When they finished, like what he promised earlier, Kangwoo washed the dishes. Kihyun helped putting them on the sink and cleaned up the table.

While Kangwoo putting the dishes on the rack, he found couple mugs. There were no names on it, only a hamster and a bear drawn on each mug. He showed the mugs to Kihyun and asked, “They’re you and Hyunwoo?”

Kihyun stared at him with a shocked expression, Kangwoo realized that he made a mistake. He cursed himself, this whole day could be ruined in any minute.

Kihyun asked him back, “How did you know?”

He was doomed alright, he hated that his brain stop functioning when he needed it the most, “Uhm..”

Kihyun pestered him, “Why suddenly you stop speaking? Cat got your tongue?”

“Kihyun..”

Narrowing his eyes, Kihyun growled, “You were spying on me?”

“It’s- I want to know you”

“You can ask”

Kangwoo was panicking, “We were not that close yet. I could only watch you from afar. I was so curious about you.”

“Doesn’t meant you can try digging out my information like that”

He timidly walked closer to Kihyun. To his relieved, Kihyun didn’t step away, “I’m sorry. I was careless. I was too eager to know you and hiring a someone was the possible solution I could think of”

Kihyun tried to see if there any lie between those eyes before him, but he could only find the honesty, he sighed, “Never do that again. You can ask me directly. Or you don’t believe if I would say the truth to you?”

Kangwoo shook his head, “No no no. I believe you. It’s just, we’re only colleagues when we first met. I was trying to approach you but you were kind of built your walls so high, I couldn’t reach you. But I wanted us to be.. closer than just a business partners. I was too embarrassed to speak to you. This confidence I have now was a fruit of training for months, just so you know.”

Again, those eyes shown him the rare emotion beneath. They sucked Kihyun in like hypnotizing him. He felt weak on his knees. What did he do to him? The phone rang, Kihyun’s phone. He knew by heart who the caller by its ringtone, Hyunwoo. He took a look at his phone, contemplating to pick it up or not.

Kangwoo also sneaked a peek at the caller’s ID. He looked back at Kihyun and said, “Don’t answer that”, Kihyun turned his head and looked up to Kangwoo. Kangwoo took both of his hands, tried to have his full attention, “Don’t Kihyun, please”

Kihyun stayed silent, he continued, “Kihyun ah, you agreed to give us a chance. For the time being, please look and focus only at me. Let me be the one who love you and show you how you should be treated. How precious you are to me” Kangwoo looked at him deeply, he whispered, “I love you, that’s the truth.”

Kihyun took a glance at his phone again. He bit his inner cheek, hardened his heart to ignore the ringing phone. He looked at Kangwoo, nodded and answered, “Okay”

Kangwoo beamed, he pulled Kihyun to him. Released their intertwined hands to cup Kihyun’s cheeks in his grasp, “You can stop me if you don’t like it”

Kangwoo looked at his lips, leaned closer to peck once. He saw that Kihyun’s eyes fluttered closed, smiled and kiss him one more time. Kangwoo moved his hand, traveled down to catch his slim waist and closed the gape between them. All while his lips was nibbling and massage the younger’s slowly, tried to pour all the love for him.

He waited this moment to come, oh how he wished this chance came much sooner but he enjoyed every second of it nevertheless. Fuck the steps, Kangwoo thought. He only had one month to snatch Kihyun’s heart from his longtime ex-boyfriend. He should did it aggressively but not to pushy or that would make Kihyun went away. Surely he wouldn’t like that. Not slapped by Kihyun for kissing him was a huge step, he didn’t want to rush then ruin everything.

His hand on the back of Kihyun’s neck was pulling him, deepened the kiss. The younger sighed contently and surrendered at the kiss. Kihyun moaned lowly, then he was circling his hands on Kangwoo’s neck, stroking his hair slowly. He opened his mouth, it was ready for Kangwoo to explore it. To say that Kangwoo was flying high was an understatement, he was soaring to the cloud nine. He smiled at the kiss. _Finally._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised to updated sooner but I was stuck, I'm so sorry. :"  
> it's not the original plot, but I like it better. 
> 
> it's kind of long chapter for me, around 5k, what do you think?


	13. The Mess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your smile in the news said otherwise, Kangwoo. You clearly enjoyed this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy!

“I’m sorry.”

Kihyun said the words after abruptly broke the kiss. He was staring at Kangwoo with his eyes opened wide, he was shocked, then shook his head. He knew he should have not done that, rejected the very man who gave him a sweet kiss after he showing the signs that he also enjoyed it. But, he was powerless when so suddenly, his fucking brain was taking him to memories of Hyunwoo and recalling every peck and every kiss they shared these years. And doing that with a man other than Hyunwoo himself was wrong, so wrong he couldn’t even think but pushed Kangwoo and stopped their locking lips. The guilt was there, creeping up on him. Again, Kihyun apologized, “I.. was not- I’m sorry”

Kangwoo stared back at him, he still hugged the smaller’s waist closely. The hurt was clearly looked in his eyes. Hardly, Kangwoo smiled at him, “No no. I guess I pushed too far. It’s okay. I understand”

Kihyun answered him timidly, “Thank you. Yes, uhm.. I think it’s too soon for us”

Kangwoo moved his hands to hold Kihyun’s, he squeezed them lightly, “Please, don’t be a stranger again after this”

“I won’t, Hyung. It’s just a bit overwhelming? We skipped steps”

Kangwoo chuckled, “Ah, yes.” He put strands of hair which fell onto Kihyun’s forehead back. “It may be too fast for you, but not for me. I’ve been waiting for a long time”

“I’ll try, Hyung”

Kangwoo showed his beautiful crescent shape eyes, “At your pace, Kihyun. Although I’ll be glad if you’re ready for me a bit faster.”

Kihyun took a look at his eyes, he saw his own reflection on them. Strangely, he felt warm. It’s like he’s everything Kangwoo saw. “I can’t promise you, but I’ll try harder”

Kangwoo laughed now, “Of course. I’ll be here waiting. I won’t go anywhere. I can’t run and hide from you, no matter how hard I want to. You’ve already own me”

Kihyun could feel that his heartbeat went faster, he gulped, “That..”

Kangwoo pinched his cheek, “I can see that you don’t hate it when I’m being so blunt like this. It’s just you’re still unused to it, aren’t you?”

Kihyun nodded dumbly, “huh? Yeah..”

Kangwoo raised on of his eyebrows and grinned, “Brace yourself, then. I can be anything you’ve never imagined of”

Kihyun tilted his head, “Should I be worry about this?”

Kangwoo pouted, looked around, pretended to be thinking hard, “Hm.. No. Not really. I like showing people how much precious they are to me. It’s hard being so subtle when you make me this happy”

Kihyun frowned, “Have you gotten into a trouble being too honest?”

“Not really. The thing is, you’re the first one who knows this side of me.”

“What do I feel like there still a lot of side you hide?”

“There are. Not dangerous if I may say. It’s a little be shocking for the ones I’ve been working with”

“I must agree. You’re always look so cold. Emotionless”

Kangwoo put a smirk, tugged one of his lips, “What can I say? You warmed me”

Kihyun rolled his eyes, “Ugh, enough with the sweet talks.” He walked towards the sofa then sat down.

Kangwoo grinned, he followed Kihyun, plopped down, “Oho. You think this is sweet?”

“Don’t flatter yourself” Kihyun side eyed him.

Kangwoo only shrugged, then buried himself on the plushy pillows, “I’m just repeating what you said.”

Kihyun mirrored him, hugged one of the pillow. Seeing blankly at the coffee table in front of him, Kihyun trailed, “Hyung, I know we’ve just started getting know each other, but what if-“

Kangwoo sighed and cut him off, “Don’t. Like you said, we’ve just started it.”

“I’m not finished yet”

“You wanted to ask if until a month ended, you didn’t reciprocate my feeling, didn’t you?”

Kihyun gasped, “You’re scary, Hyung”

“It’s just I know you so well”

Kihyun scoffed now, “I’m not sure about you know me that well. People always say I’m like an open book. That must be it”

“Whatever, in the end I know what you’re thinking, right?”

“Well, you kind of did”

Kangwoo leaned closer to Kihyun. He tapped his hands lightly, “Can we just go with the flow, hmm? Doesn’t matter which direction we’re going, whether we’ll end up together or not, I want us to enjoy the journey. I like this moment, I like us being this close. Much better than just saw you from afar”

Kihyun could only smile at him.

_It’s really good to have someone who loves and appreciates you this much. Maybe, Kyungsoo’s right after all._

“I told you to call me when you arrived, Yoo Kihyun! You- Oh my. I didn’t interupt anything, did I?” Kyungsoo was casually bargging into Kihyun’s apartement as usual, threw his shoes anywhere and walked in his socks. His stomping steps were in halt when he found that his bestfriend was not alone.

“Will you leave if I said you did?” Kangwoo put a grinned smile at him.

“So, I did. I’ll leave you two” Kyungsoo was ready to put his shoes again, when Kangwoo stood up and approached him.

Kangwoo chuckled, “Hey, I’m joking. We’re only talking. Did you really hope that there was something you interupt?

“Uh, no? Oh, please. The mental image were unpleasing” Kyungsoo shut his eyes, trying to shush the thought of Kihyun and Kangwoo doing the couple thing in the living room.

Kihyun threw a pillow to him, “What the hell are you thinking about?”

Kangwoo was amused at these bickering friends. He reached his hand out to Kyungsoo, when he opened his eyes and glaring at the one who threw the flying pillow, “Hi, I haven’t introduced myself. I’m Han Kangwoo, pleasure to finally meet you”

Kyungsoo took his hand, “I’m Do Kyungsoo. Happy to meet you too. I’m so curious about the said fiancee of my angry lil’ man over there”

Kihyun was not having it, “Do Kyungsoo!”

“See? Nothing new about the angry hamster. I wonder what you see in him” Kyungsoo shrugged playfully and walked towards the said man, he chose a single couch, the farthest from Kihyun. Kangwoo followed him from behind, and plopped down on the same spot.

“What are you doing here?” Kihyun asked

Kyungsoo eyed him for a second. “Your manager is on his way here.”

Kihyun already opened his mouth to asked why. But soon, the realization was hitting him, “Ah, I need to speak to my fans. Do I need to do it like right now?”

Kyungsoo answered, “You do. Better to tell them directly from you and as soon as possible before it’s getting out of hand. It’s already a mess out there”

Kangwoo silently put his hand over Kihyun’s and squeezed them, “Don’t be afraid, Kihyun. It’s okay. They’ll support you”

“They’ll change a second I admit that I’m gay”

“They won’t. I promise”

“How do you know, Hyung?”

“I just know. Oh my, your fans will be upset if they knew you doubted them. Fans mirror their idol, they look up to you a lot. You’re such a talented and hardworking person, confident yet very down to earth, competitive but still clap your hands when your rival wins. You’re busy as hell but still make time to converse with them. You’re sweet and caring, such a giver. You’ve never judged and told them to be brave and honest to themselves. Never let the world make you to hide behind a mask just to make everyone happy and be accepted. And they will do exactly like that to you too. They’ll understand”

Kangwoo sounded so convincing that Kihyun could only nod and take a deep breath to calm his throbbing heart. Deep down he knew that WithYoo would accept him, eventhough maybe some of them would leave. He took a look at his friend who looked back at him with an unreadable expression. But the second later, Kyungsoo put a reassuring smile at him.

_You’ll be okay, Yoo Kihyun._

His manager came the next minute while Kihyun was still processing, his mind went blank. No matter how hard he searched for a word to say to his fans, he could never find it. What should he say? Sorry? For what? Hiding their relationship? Like there is any. He should have been sorry about hiding his relationship with Hyunwoo. But, he had none with Kangwoo. Should he be honest about liking a man? Just like Kangwoo said, they’d understand, wouldn’t they?

His manager set up a device on the coffee table in front of Kihyun, Kangwoo dragged himself to the couch next to Kyungsoo. They waited in silence.

“Mr. Jung, Mr. Lee’s secretary, told me that according to what Mr. Lee said, you can say anything you want to say, Kihyun. It’s up to you. Whenever you’re ready”, his manager said while stood by behind the lense. Kihyun gulped and sent the cue to start the live. And he was waiting for his fans to come and watch him.

When he knew that that many fans have already come and flodded the comment, he fixed his tshirt and clearing his throat. He started, “Good evening. Hi, WithYoo, it’s me, Yoo Kihyun. Uhm.. Through this live, I.. want to speak about my recent news. First of all, I’m sorry for telling you a little later in this late hour, I should have given you a clarification about this as soon as the news broke yesterday. But, I needed to pay a visit to my parents since today’s the day they passed away 10 years ago. The whole situation’s overwhelming for me to be honest. That’s also the reason why I needed more time before I’m ready to speak to you all”

“Second one, there were some misinformations they reported about me, about us. I and Han Kangwoo, we’re business partners, that would explain that we have met in few occasions before. We are close, but we are not in any sort of relationship by now, let alone the engagement one.”

“Third one, I like people regardless their gender. It might be shocking and some of you might even think I’m such a disgrace but I don’t want to hide it. I was afraid to come out like this, but I want you all to know the truth. This is the real me. It’s my life and my choice. I can’t hold you if you wanted to leave. It’s your choice, too WithYoo.”

“The last one,“ Kihyun took a deep breath, he stared at the lense a little linger before saying, “I want to tell you that I maybe won’t be as active as I am right now. I’m okay, really. Both, physically and mentally, so there is no need to worry. It’s just that I need space and time to fix some things, I hope you can understand. And when the time’s right, I promise to come back to you, showing my better, healthier and stronger side. I won’t let you down, you can keep my words.”

“Thank you so much for your love, I feel warm just remembering all the good things we’ve shared until this moment. From the deep of my heart, I’m sorry for concerning you all. Be healthy and stay happy. I’ll be missing you all. Please take care. Until we meet again. I love you, WithYoo. Have a good night” Kihyun bowed deeply, the manager shut the live down.

He chose not to give any comment about what Kihyun said and prepared to leave the apartment. He smiled at him and patted his shoulder, “You handled this well. I’m proud of you. Rest, Kihyun. You’ll need it. Ah, Mr. Jung told me that you have couple days off.”

“Why? I’d prefer to be busy and swim in the pile of documents instead, hyung”

“It’s Mr. Lee’s order. Go travelling, shopping or anything. Be busy relaxing not working, _Sir_. You haven’t had any day off for a while. Alright, I’ll go now”

Kyungsoo also stood up, “I’ll go, too. Have a good night. Talk to you later, Ki. I’ll see you around, Kangwoo ssi”

Kihyun nodded, “Thank you, Soo”

“Anytime”

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

“Kyungsoo?”

Kyungsoo looked up at the person before him, “Hey, Did I wake you up?”

“No, it’s not that late anyway. Come in. What makes you come here at this hour?”

Kyungsoo stepped inside, “Did you watch his live?”

“Who?”

Kyungsoo who was taking off his shoes, scoffed, “Don’t pretend, Hyunwoo”

Hyunwoo closed the door and walked pass Kyungsoo to the living room, “Okay, I did. What about that?”

Kyungsoo followed him to the living room of Monsta’s dorm and sat on the floor, he leaned backward and placed his head on the sofa. Kyungsoo tilted his head to look at Hyunwoo. “What were you thinking?”

Hyunwoo who was sitting on the couch, put both of his elbows on his knees. His hands were messing up his hair. Hyunwoo said in tiny, “I didn’t think they’d make him to do everything himself. The company could do anything like giving an official statement and took care of it, but no. They made him went live and gave explanation like that. I felt like a shit. He through this alone”

Kyungsoo sighed, “Well, yeah. I was kind of dissappointed but nothing new, you know how the industry works. And I think I need to remind you that Kihyun is not alone. He has Kangwoo now.“

Hyunwoo chuckled lightly, “Ah, of course. How can I forget that?”

“Will you let him go?”

Hyunwoo turned his head to Kyungsoo, “Done that already.”

“Hyunwoo..”

Hyunwoo sighed, he shook his head in disbelief, “Who do you think I am, Soo? I won’t interfere their relationship. Not when I know he has someone now.”

“I need assurance directly from you just to make sure. Don’t confuse him like you did ever again. And that Kangwoo guy seems like a decent man. He’ll take a good care of Ki.”

“Even without him, Ki can take care of himself”

“I see you clearly know nothing”

“He looked okay to me”

“That’s the clue, ‘looked’”

Hyunwoo huffed, “Don’t you think that I was just as broken as him? Just because you didn’t see me crying doesn’t mean that I didn’t. Please, I’m hurting, too. Guilt tripping me won’t work because breaking up was neither of our fault. The feeling was mutual. We agreed to break it off. ”

Kyungsoo sat upright and turned to his side, the hurt from Hyunwoo was making him uncomfortable. He did wrong. Kyungsoo speaked to him softly, “I’m sorry, I should also see from your point of view. I’m sorry that I was not there for you. I don’t know if I was allowed to say this, but you’re my friend too, Hyunwoo. I care about you too. And if this relationship could only bring you pain, it would be better to end everything sooner. I just want both of you let each other go. Don’t cling much into the past. Try to move on and search for your own happiness.”

Hyunwoo replied in a whisper, “Thank you. And I will”

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Kangwoo was still in Kihyun’s place when both of his manager and Kyungsoo left. He studied Kihyun closely, tried to decipher what his silence meant, what his expression meant. Earlier he declared that he knew him so well, but that was just his luck. He did not, had not known Kihyun that well. He sighed for nth time, frustrated by how he could help Kihyun.

He knew he was the only one who stayed with Kihyun right now, but he seemed to be so far away. Kangwoo could not read anything from his face alone. He finally said, “Will you be okay?”

Kihyun jerked, awaken from his deep thought. He said, “Of course, I will, Hyung”

“I hate to leave you alone like this”

Kihyun smiled, rather tiredly, “I’ll be fine.”

Kangwoo knew that if the kiss was dejected, this would also be, but he still asked him, “Should I sleep over here?”

Kihyun chuckled, “No need, Hyung. I’m okay, only a little bit tired.”

Kangwoo jumped from the couch and walked to Kihyun, “Dinner! We haven’t had dinner, you must be hungry. What’s there in the fridge? I can make you some.”

Kihyun tilted his head in disbelief, “What? I can’t believe you forgot that we’ve had dinner, Hyung. You cooked for us, remember?”

Kangwoo slapped his forehead, “Ah , yes. But, I don’t think it’s enough”

Kihyun shook his head, “I’m not hungry, I just want to sleep.”

Kangwoo could not let Kihyun won this, he was still trying, “Let me tuck you to sleep then”

“Huh? Hyung, I’m not a baby” Kihyun chuckled.

Kangwoo grunted, “Like it or not, you are now. Stand up. Come on, show me your room”

Kihyun whined while Kangwoo was pulling his arm, forcing him to stand up. He was drained by these couple of days events, he seriously had no energy left. He had a thought to send Kangwoo go and just sleep on the couch after, he barely had some to go upstairs. Let alone the energy to entertain a guest. He stomped his feet, “Please, Hyung. Just go, okay? Today’s too much for me too handle. I need to be alone. Would you let me?”

Kangwoo clenched his jaw, his gaze was hardened. He saw a glimpsed of single tear in Kihyun’s eyes. He could not leave him, he didn’t have a heart to. Not like this when clearly Kihyun needed someone to hold him. He shortly replied, “No”

Kangwoo didn’t care about Kihyun who protested, he scooped him up, put him over his shoulder and proceeded to his room upstairs. Kihyun was shrieking and trying to wiggle but Kangwoo’s grip was secured firmly in the back of his thigh. He knew he lost this time, he muttered the third door, telling Kangwoo which door he needed to open. Kihyun let his head and arms hanging loosely, bouncing aimlessly every time Kangwoo took a step, and letting Kangwoo did whatever he wanted to do.

Kangwoo opened the third door and went straight to the bed. He pulled the bed cover and laid Kihyun carefully, patted the pillow until he laid comfortable enough, then put the blanket over his body, tucked below of his chin, so that only his head could be seen. Kangwoo walked and circled the bed, tried to approach from the other side of the bed. He also laid himself on the bed, then turned to his side and faced Kihyun.

He said softly, “Sleep, Kihyun”

The whining continued, “Hyung..”

Kangwoo hushed him, “I’ll leave after you sleep. Please, let me do this for you. It’s the least I can do” Then, Kangwoo patted Kihyun’s head. He stroked his head lightly.

Just like a cue, Kihyun automatically surrendered to his touch, he leaned onto his hand. The strokes were light and soft, very comforting and soothing. He sighed contently. He wondered if he could ask for a cuddle, and he knew, Kangwoo would gladly accept it. If his touch could make him feel good than imagine his hug would be. But, he himself said that they should have not skipped steps. No, not now. Maybe next time.

_Next time? Really, Kihyun?_

Nevertheless, Kangwoo did treat Kihyun like a baby. Kihyun was pretty much love it. Who was not like being babied? Carried to his room, even though it was slightly unpleasing experience, tucked to bed and waited for him to sleep while gently stroking his hair. Kihyun thought to just enjoy the moment. He could care less about the comments from WithYoos and netizens he would be getting tomorrow. Let’s not worry about that now. Slowly, he closed his eyes and flied to the dreamland.

Kangwoo peered to see him. By the even breathing, Kihyun must have been asleep by now. Kangwoo wanted to stay, acted that he surprised when he woke, apologized for rudely fell asleep without his permission and casually spent the morning with Kihyun. But, he promised to leave. With a heavy heart, he left the dead-to-world Kihyun.

_Someday, I don’t need to leave. I’ll wake up next to you every morning._

Kangwoo smiled. He stared at Kihyun lovingly. Couldn’t hold the urge, he put a kiss on his forehead. Kihyun let out a little sound and stirred a bit, Kangwoo could not help but cooed at the cute sight, his precious little one.

_His? You’re whipped, Kangwoo._

He slowly moved out of the room and went downstairs. He took his phone out and put it on dial. After two rings, someone picked up the call. Without replied the hello, he said straight to the point, “I know you’re still up. I’ll go to your place now.” Kangwoo walked out the Kihyun’s apartment, to the parking lot and drove to another apartment block.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

With a loud thud, Kangwoo shut the door of an apartment. To say that he was mad was an understatement. He was furiously mad. Nobody could stop him. The owner of this apartment might be the reason why.

“How gracious” Someone mocked him. The person walked pass him, brought a freshly baked popcorn to the movie room.

Kangwoo growled. He followed the person to the room, with a raging breath. He seemed like hate everything at the moment. “What the fucking hell?”

There was someone else who had already in the room, he answered him, “Calm down, bro. Come and sit. Yeonwoo made some snacks for us” Hoon was welcoming him with a smirk.

Kangwoo furrowed his brows, he clicked his tongue, clearly not liking his presence here, “What the fuck are you doing here?”

Hoon put both of his hands up, “Whoa.. Yeonwoo told me that you’re coming here. Thought we’ll be celebrating you and Kihyun getting together, no? She even prepared a champagne ready. Have some, Kangwoo” Hoon chuckled, he raised a glass of champagne.

Kangwoo scoffed, refused the offer, “I knew you’re the one behind this. The news were your doing, right Hoon?”

“You’re very welcome” Hoon saluted at him.

Looking at his clenched fists and dangerously glinted eyes, Yeonwoo who knew his brother was so close to punch Hoon. She walked towards him and patted his shoulder few times. She took his arm and pulled him to sit down. “My my. Please, calm yourself, oppa. We’re doing our best to reach our goal, aren’t we?”

Kangwoo turned his head, “What goal are you talking about? Hurting him? Exposing him out like that?”

Yeonwoo ignored the sharp gaze. She beamed, tried to lighten up the mood and excitedly said, “You and Kihyun. Me and Hyunwoo. And the company will successfully seal the deal. Everyone will happy. We’re a step closer to that”

Kangwoo didn’t believe his ears. “Hyunwoo? Why is he involve in this, and with you? You said you have girlfriend already.”

Yeonwoo looked confused, “So?”

Kangwoo raised his voice, “Really, Yeonwoo? So?” Kangwoo punctuated each word he said, “You have your girlfriend and you want Hyunwoo too”

“If I could have two, then why not?” Yeonwoo laughed. “You’re really so old fashioned, oppa. We’re in an open relationship, oppa. We’re not exclusive. If she wanted to date someone else, I would just let her and vice versa. When I told her about adding Hyunwoo to our relationship, she gladly agreed, if not extremely excited. Well, she drools about him too. Like duh, please, who doesn’t want him? He’s fucking hot!”

Kangwoo was speechless, he gave her a judging look, “I don’t know you anymore”

“It’s fun, oppa! You should try it” Yeonwoo showed him her beautiful smile almost innocently. Okay, Kangwoo was disgusted by her by now.

Hoon chimed in, “Nobody will get hurt, Kangwoo.”

Back turning his stare to the bastard, Kangwoo growled, “Nobody will get hurt, my ass. Kihyun’s hurting. And I believe Hyunwoo too. I don’t like where it’s going.”

Kangwoo smirked, he played with his glass, “Don’t like it? Those smile on your picture said otherwise, Kangwoo. You clearly enjoyed this”

Kangwoo slammed the table in front of him, surprising Yeonwoo. She clenched her chest, while Hoon was unbothered, still calmly sipped his drink, “That was before the news broke out! You didn’t tell me about this exposure he’ll be getting”

“In the end, the public will know sooner or later, what’s the different telling them now or weeks later? He gave you a month to prove your undying love for him and ensure him to take your hand in the marriage. For fuck’s sake, a marriage, that’s a huge commitment for him. You need to move faster and we’re here to help you to step up the game. I didn’t fucking know that you’re such an ungrateful bastard”

Kangwoo gritted his teeth, “I don’t need your help”

“You know? You’ll thank me later, Kangwoo. Looking that you’re here instead of having your way to Kihyun and spending the night with him, he’s still very much attach to Hyunwoo” Hoon chuckled darkly, by the winched Kangwoo sporting, he knew he hit the spot on. “In case you’re still unaware about this, your enemy is the memories he had with Hyunwoo. All the sweet moments bla bla bla. One thing that could win all those bullshit is your presence when he’s at his lowest, show that you’re there for him, stay by his side. I gave you that fucking chance, just like this time. Guilty much I that made it up, but who fucking cares? Now, it all depends to you, on how you’re going to take advantage of it.” Hoon smiled triumphantly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm crawling back to you with an update, after a whole hellish month. fiuh..  
> hope you like the update! 
> 
> thank you again for reading it. your thoughts on it will be highly appreciated..  
> love you all, muach! :***


	14. The Journey Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today too, he didn’t cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lots of narration.. brace yourself and happy reading~

Weekends should have been the happiest time of the week. They would be one of those lazy days when Kihyun could spend the whole day sprawling on his bed, ordering food online and binge watching some netflix series. But, these few weeks had been hellish that he could not do those me-time-day and it was kind of stressing him out. Maybe, his father was right. He needed some time off from his work to refresh his damn mind.

Kihyun wake up quite early the next day. Blinking few times while facing the ceiling, not liking the fact that he woke up too early when he was this tired. He took deep breaths. What would he do today? He wanted to go somewhere but at the same time he didn’t want to. He was pretty much afraid to meet people. He knew he might not be that famous as an artist so the chance he met people who recognize him was low but his chance to meet one of his fans was never zero. He didn’t have enough courage to meet them after his confession last night. Kangwoo said that they would accept him no matter what, but his overthinking head said otherwise. Sadly, Kihyun put more faith in his head.

_Kangwoo Hyung.. hmm-??_

Kihyun shook his head, he smiled sadly. Whoa, wait. Kangwoo’s name naturally rolled in his mind now instead of Hyunwoo. Did he finally let Hyunwoo go? Had he moved on already? He’d been with Hyunwoo for years but only need less than couple of months to replace him? Really? Was it too soon? Was it a good thing? Was it okay?

_I’m overthinking again._

He reached out his hand to grab his phone on the nightstand to check the time. The sun was not that high, he contemplated whether he could sleep again or just to start a day. Before he could read the time shown, his phone rang. He greeted with a simple hello, while still laying down on the bed.

“Good morning, Kihyun”, the person on another line answered.

“Good morning, Father”, he coughed, cleared his itchy throat.

Mr. Lee asked lightly, “How are you feeling, son?”

“I’m feeling better now, Father”

_That’s an obvious lie, Yoo._

“I’m happy to hear that.” Mr. Lee paused like he was hesitating. Shortly after, he continued, “I watched your confession last night, you are indeed so brave, son. I am proud of you”

Kihyun sighed, he massaged his temple, “Are you not worried about how it will affect you, Father? What about the company?”

Mr. Lee shook his head, even though he knew Kihyun could not see him, “It will be okay. Nobody can put a finger on us when we don’t allow them. Coming out was never a sin. There’s nothing to be afraid of, there’s nothing to be ashame of. We’ll be here to protect you“

“Thank you”, Kihyun hummed for a moment, he was relieved. He said, “Ah, and Father, about the two days off, I was thinking about taking five days instead of two. I want to take a week off”

Mr. Lee chuckled lightly, “I’m even more glad to hear that. You are more than deserved to have some vacation. You’ve always worked so hard, harder than anyone for our company.”

Kihyun smiled, “I’m doing what I’m supposed to do. Working hard that is. I’ll tell Mr. Jung that he’ll be in charge while I leave”

“He’ll do perfectly well, don’t you worry about a thing and enjoy your time”

“Yes, I will”

Mr. Lee asked carefully, “Extending your days off, seems like you have something in mind, son? Will Kangwoo come along with you?”

“Ah, no Father. I’m thinking about going by myself.”

“Going somewhere? Can’t he be tagged along? Let him spend some time and be closer to you”

“I’m not quite sure about that. Maybe later, some time during the week”

“Of course, son.”

They finished the call. Then it was quiet again. Such a not so peaceful quiet one. He hated this. Didn’t know what possessed him but right now but Kihyun preferred to be in the crowd, somewhere full of people and noises. He could not handle this silence and his wandering mind.

In his wandering mind, suddenly came a thought that it must be too sudden to take a week off and not prepare Mr. Jung about his works. It’s still morning here, the clock in his phone shown the number, 8 AM. He called Mr. Jung asking him to come to office briefly around 12 PM, not forgetting to also inform about his absence next week. Kihyun needed to be in his office as soon as possible right now. There he would finish his works as many as he could and then explained about any other works that needed to be completed this week.

Kihyun got up and started to get prepared, took a shower and dressed warmly. He also brought the scarf, mask and cap. He knew he needed them if he wanted to go out after last night episode. He cooked a simple breakfast such as toast and sunny side eggs and hot tea, thinking to not having too much caffeine this morning since he would make coffee later in the afternoon. Then, he was ready to go.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Driving his own car, Kihyun went straight to the office. There were so many reporters and fans in front of the building, despite it was a Sunday morning and in a freezing winter. Kihyun predicted this before, he called the security beforehand to cleared up the south entrance, the back gate. He took the back gate and parked in the basement parking lot without any difficulties, thankfully.

Not many employees were there to work overtime in the weekend, Kihyun quietly walked to his own office then proceeded to check the documents neatly placed on his desk. He opened them one by one, carefully read everything, put longer notes about his instructions, what needed to be revised, added or erased, so that the reader will have better understanding and get what he wanted to say. Most of times, when Kihyun was too immersed in his work, he would not hear a thing. There was an exception, of course.

“Kihyunaaaahhh”

“Ooof.. “ Before he could registered whose high-pitched slash dolphine screech was that, he felt his body was crushed by a bone breaking hug.

Followed by kisses all over his face, Minhyuk was speaking in a high speed, “My baby, my love, my dear, my sweetie, my honey Kihyunie. I’m sorry I had a schedule until this morning, so I couldn’t be there for you last night. But, I’m here right now, that what’s important, right? How are you, babe?”

Scrunching his nose, Kihyun said, “Ugh, stop Min! How do you know I’m here?” he pushed Minhyuk’s face far from his face.

Still puckering his lips in attempt to kiss Kihyun again, Minhyuk still hugging Kihyun’s shoulder, said “Little birdie told me so.”

Kihyun was not having it, he put more strength to push Minhyuk, “Argh. Enough! Let go, Min”

Okay, enough. Minhyuk changed his mind, he was no longer want to kiss Kihyun in attempt to tease him. He pulled both of Kihyun’s arms so he stood up and dragged to follow him to the sofas, “Never. Come sit with me” Minhyuk was practically shoved Kihyun onto the seat, “What the hell are you doing here? It’s freaking Sunday and Kyungsoo hyung said that you will have two days off?“

Kihyun raised his eyebrow, “Should I be the one who ask you that? At least this is my office, what are you doing here?”

Minhyuk squinted his eyes, “Oho, are you showing off that you own this fancy office Director Yoo? Don’t divert this convo, dear. Answer my question, I asked you first”

Try to change the topic would never working on Lee Minhyuk, Kihyun knew this. Well, at least he tried, “I was given two days off at first. But then I thought to extend it to a whole week off and I don’t want to receive any call, like at all, related to work at that time. In the other hand, I have so much to do and eventhough I have Mr. Jung who are capable enough to handle everything, I still need to finish as much as I could and prepare him before I completely off the radar.”

Mihyuk couldn’t believe his ears, a week? Whoa, this was new.“A week? That’s quite long. Erm, no. Actually it was too short. You’ve never took any vacation, like a real one. Don’t try to deny it, Yoo. And sleeping like a log, cramping all your lost hours of sleep in Saturday is not included. Now, what’s your vacation plan?”

Kihyun looked at the ceiling, he took a deep breath, “Just driving, here and there, still around the city. I do have some in mind. There are some places I haven’t visited for a long time. I hope there will be no storm along the way. Or well, I’ll be just at home doing anything I can”

“Driving? Alone?”

Kihyun nodded, “Yep.”

“Why?”

“What do you mean by why?”

Minhyuk tilted his head in confusion, “Just.. erm.. You have Kangwoo Hyung now. Rather than going to all those places alone, it’s more fun when you’re with someone, he can also be your substitute driver when you’re tired. And actually, I was thinking that the extension was due to getting know Kangwoo hyung better and spending your birthday with him”

“My birthday?”

Minhyuk’s jaw dropped, “Yoo Kihyun. Duh, it’s on Thursday, babe. How hectic your schedule is that you forgot your own birthday?”

Kihyun could only shrug, “Guess it doesn’t matter anymore”

Minhyuk suddenly felt bad, he stroked Kihyun’s shoulder, “Hey..”

Sensing his friend changing attitudem Kihyun quickly replied, “No no no. It’s not like what you think. It’s not because these days’ events. I felt that since long ago. It feels less exciting the more you age, the cake and those stuffs. Don’t you think so?”

“Well, I do agree on that”, Minhyuk was smiling again, he visibly relaxed. “So, solo travelling?”

“Yep. I guess I need to do this”

“You sure?”

Kihyun smiled weakly, “I am, Min”

“You know, I want to keep silent and not asking about anything again. But, I’m curious. Where will you spend your time? What are those places?”

Breathing out, Kihyun answered, “To those places which hold memories of me and Hyunwoo hyung.”

“Tell me you’re joking”

“Hopefully. But no. I am dead serious. I know that it’s going to be hurt as hell but I don’t want any lingering feels towards him. I need to end this. Kangwoo hyung, he’s a good guy. I don’t want him to take his love and sincerity for granted. You know, time can’t heal anything. I have to do it myself”

Minhyuk leaned forward and hugged his best friend, “You really are a tough guy, you know that? I admire you and I love you. We all love you. I can only hope the best for you, Ki. If you need me, I’m only one call away, okay? Drive safely”

“In a quest to find an inner peace”

Minhyuk laughed, he released him and pushed Kihyun’s shoulder lightly, “Right. Of course, old man”

Kihyun pouted, “We’re the same age, Grandpa”

Puffing his chest and closing his eyes, Minhyuk said in a serious tone, “I’m young at heart, at my soul.”

“Yeah yeah. Anyway, what are you doing here?”

Minhyuk excitedly clapped his hands, “Ah, we have a project together. As in SM and SM C&C. A collaborative music video, like they did with NCT last year. This time is our turn with EXO. I, Wonnie and other models were chosen for this. Today, they measured our size for the outfits, I don’t know why they had to do that again when I know they have already had our size. Then, they held a brief meeting about the concepts. We’ll be shooting the music video tomorrow. ”

Such a blinding sunshine Minhyuk’s smile was, Kihyun couldn’t help but also replied his smile, “That’s sure gonna be fun. Do well”

“Of course! Thankfully we’re close with the members. It won’t be awkward.” Minhyuk chuckled.

A knock on the door.

Kihyun answered, “Come in”

“Has the heart to heart session come to an end?” Hyungwon’s head peeked from the door.

Minhyuk answered him, “Yes, baby. Come here”

Hyungwon showed his small gifts, “I brought you coffees”

“Thanks, Won” Kihyun said.

“Mr. Jung has not arrived yet?” Hyungwon looked around the room that was only occupied by the best friends. He reached his hands to give the cup to Minhyuk and Kihyun.

Kihyun sat up straight and received his Americano, “Nope. I told him to come at 12. How do you all know about my schedule?”

Hyungwon grinned, “A little birdie told me so”

“Who is this little birdie? Ugh, come on love birds, even your answers were the same”

Minhyuk pinched Kihyun’s cheek cutely, “Aww. No need to be jealous, dear Ki. You’re all my number one, just a different type, platonic and domestic one.” That was kind of successful attempt to make Kihyun smiled.

The love birds went out shortly after since they had another schedule to attend to. After bid a goodbye, Kihyun continued his previous work. When Mr. Jung arrived, Kihyun explained everything and Mr. Jung effortlessly grasped what Kihyun meant. Just as he thought, Mr. Jung is a capable man, Kihyun was so thankful.

Giving the last document, Kihyun said, “I think that’s all, Mr. Jung. I’ll leave them in your hands”

Mr. Jung received it, “Yes, Director Yoo. Have a good rest. I will only call when it is beyond my control.”

“Thank you”

Mr. Jung bowed to him and left the office.

Kihyun closed his eyes and took deep breaths. Slowly, he tried to calm his mind. Now, he could enjoy his little journey. And, unless it really was an emergency, like a life threathening one, Mr. Jung would never call him. Opening his eyes, he checked at his watch, around 5PM still bright outside. His stomach growled, needed to be filled. It’s no wonder since he didn’t have lunch, didn’t feel he needed to because he wasn’t hungry. But, he didn’t want no spend this precious time laying sick in his own apartment, did he? He had to eat properly and he would. Getting up, Kihyun gathered his phone and keys then walked to his car. Driving through the city, he was was on his way to the first destination.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

First, of course one and only the park, where Kihyun and Hyunwoo’s story began, where they first met through an unfortunate event that later they proclaimed as a blessing instead. It’s also the place they shared their memorable first kiss. It was warm and sunny when his head was hit by the ball which playing as their matchmaker. But, it was chilly now, there was something missing, and he knew perfectly what it was.

Kihyun parked his car a bit far, he needed a breather. He walked around the park. How long was it since he had been here? Years, maybe. Although he was living only a 30 minutes drive, he had never found a reason to visit here. There was another park nearer to his apartment now that he had been visiting regularly. Kihyun kept walking through. hugged his coat tightly, he was trying to warm himself. If his memories served right, there was a vendor selling fish cakes. Perfect for a day like this.

Standing right in front of those many fish cakes, he greeted the ahjumma politely then prepared to start munching. He opened his mask, he felt the ahjumma was studying his face. Maybe she knew him, hopefully for one of his dramas of movies, not from his confession last night. But, he could care less. The mouthwatering snacks were before him, nothing was more important than filling his empty stomach with them right now. He took one and digging in. Humming in contentment, he’s savouring the taste. It was indeed delicious one, he was glad he ran to this vendor first.

_Hyunwoo hyung always take me here before we walk around, he said he need a fuel to walk. Even after those many big bowls of ramyun. What a bear. That was like yesterday, hmm?_

Another voice in his head sarcastically said,

_Way to go, brain! Keep torturing my heart like this! You’re doing great sweetie!_

Then, another one said..

_Focus, Yoo. You’re here to find some peace. To let him go. To replace the memories with a new one. To start anew. You can do this!_

Gritting his teeth, he perfectly knew that it was such a disaster to come here. This place held so many memories, most of them were sweet ones with his- no, Hyunwoo. Only Hyunwoo now, without his. Here was their beginning, a lot of their firsts were here. That was also the reason why the ending would be started from here.

_Suck it up, Yoo. No crying._

It hurt like hell, he could feel the pain in his fingertips. In a flash, the silent movie played in his head. Hate that, but he couldn’t help himself. The movie showed the moments when they were laughing together at their usual bench. Oh, looked like Hyunwoo told him old man jokes again, but he laughed whole heartedly, just because he found him cute not because of the joke itself. Such a beautiful sight. How Kihyun missed it, missed them together, missed how everything would be easier when Hyunwoo was beside him. How could one turn back the time?

Nope.

No, he couldn’t go back right now. He had to overcome this. If he did well, every other place’s memories might be easier to handle.

He controlled his breath, pushing his mind to relax and enjoy this time. Really, it was rare for him go out freely, without worrying that anytime he could receive a call about work from Mr. Jung, or worrying about not to eat certain food just because he had a photoshoot next morning, or worrying about getting an earful because he was wandering alone since someone was so protective of him and afraid that he would get hurt. He was in vacation, no schedule, and there was no someone that would scold him. None.

Kihyun felt full by finishing the second stick. He asked for water, paid for them all and took his leave. Gulping down the water in one go, then he put on his mask again. He walked to a special bench and sat down. He was a big boy, big boy didn’t cry. He wouldn’t.

_Suck it up!_

Easier said than done, hmm?

He took a look around and saw at a specific direction from afar. It was once a café, the one where Hyunwoo had a part time jobs before. Now, it was a small toppoki store. A lot of students were seen chatting and laughing happily. Well, at least he could scratch one from his list and retreat for the day. He was exhausted.

Embrace. All the memories were all good, not having any intention to harm him. He was happy, they made each other happy, and that they were sincere with each other. There was nothing that should have been sorry for. They were okay to be remembered and to be kept in his heart. Including all of emotions that involved.

Acceptance. That was the next thing he needed to do. Accept that the movie played was only an event in the past that might or might not happen again in the future, with one of the actor out of the frame. Erase all the prayers and empty hopes that the actor would come back. Even though he did come again, it was never be the same. Everything changed.

Expectance. We have a new actor here, he was more than willing to start a new story with hi m. It might be a little scary to begin again from zero. But, as long as they were hand in hand, he knew everything would be okay. Let’s just gave him a try. Hopefully, he was as good as people said.

Kihyun underestimated himself. He was indeed a big boy. He didn’t cry.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Monday.

Kihyun usually despised this day. After such peaceful weekend there would always come a hectic Monday. It got worse because most of the important meeting will be held on that particular day. Out of all many work days were there to be chosen, they would choose Monday. Then, he would be restless over the weekend, possibly work overtime to prepare the said meeting. Glad there come this day, where he would worry only over what for breakfast, lunch and dinner. No need to worry about what to wear, how high the pile of his document was, or why was his schedule so uptight he could barely breath.

Kihyun didn’t run into any of his fans yesterday, thankfully, that made his strolling in the park then his grocery shopping afterward went smoothly. It was also yesterday when he decided to be at home all day since going outside right now was kind of stressing him out. Today would be a cooking day. He loved to eat but he was quite picky, blame on his sensitive sense of smell. Therefore, when there was a dish served with seafood for example, he tried to change the protein to something that he could eat without scrunching his nose, preferably chicken. That was how he started picking up his passion for cooking. And until now, cooking was one of many ways he would do as a sweet escape from this cruel world and when everything was too much for him. His kitchen became his little sanctuary.

Welcoming a new day, he prepared a meal for himself. What’s for breakfast you were wondering? A special menu. Donkatsu, Hyunwoo’s all time favourite. Classic. Kihyun’s smiling at himself.

_I’m doing a great job hurting myself like this. Let’s just get the job done._

He got the ingredients he needed from the cabinet and the fridge, the meat, the flour, the seasonings, and everything else. He made the dish easily, he memorized the recipe, thanks to Hyunwoo. The bear would ask him to cook one no matter what season or what time it was. When he wanted it, Hyunwoo would go miles like act cutely or saying please repeatedly. Forget about getting embarrased, he needed to fill his angry stomach. Actually, just say the words and Kihyun was more than happy to made him one. But Hyunwoo’s aegyos were so cute, he couldn’t miss it. And, the sight of Hyunwoo eating in a serious expression, furrowed eyebrows and chubby cheeks was enough to make his heart swell with happiness.

_Good old times._

Indeed.

Lunch though, shrimp. Ha! Surprise surprise! Yes he had a sensitive nose. Also yes he could not stand the fishy smell. But, also yes he tried his hardest to be finally eat them without grimacing much. He was actually enjoy it now. Again, thanks to Hyunwoo. He enjoyed everything as long as they’re tasty and he also wanted Kihyun did too. Blame on his big love for the big bear, Kihyun tried to eat them gradually from the littlest dose without said bear knew.

There was a day when Hyunwoo finally had his first paycheck from singing a soundtrack of a drama. He wanted to buy Kihyun a meal. He shyly said, he couldn’t afford hanwoo beef right now but promised that he would buy him one when he got a better pay. How oh so adorable Hyunwoo was. Kihyun smiled and simply answered with shrimp would be okay. The next thing happened was those soft eyes of Hyunwoo became beautiful crescent shape. He wanted to give Kihyun a gift but getting one from him instead.

Kihyun made a simple dish, the one he ate with Hyunwoo. He baked potato wedges seasoned with olive oil, salt, pepper and spice. Then, he started to clean the shrimps. After that, he grilled them with butter and garlic. A pinched of salt and pepper then he was done. Looked and smelled so good. The ting sound from oven meant that the potatoes were also ready to serve, just in time. He prepared all on the table, squeezing lemon juice on top of the shrimps, he started his meal.

Dinner, a simple one, ramyun and ham. Kihyun made them like Hyunwoo did. He boiled the water with the seasoning before he putting in the noodles. For the ham, he grilled it on a pan. Quickly done and delicious. He sighed and savoured it happily. Warm. What a comfort food.

Today too, he didn’t cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm being mean. I'm sorry. it's almost 3 months since the last update TT 
> 
> actually this was a the longest chapter but I decided to cut it into 2 parts and this chapter is kind of starter, so you might think this is a little bland.   
> please expect part 2 in less than a week since I want to revise them a bit. it's a promise :")
> 
> comments and critics are very much welcome. tell me what you're thinking. and guess what will be happen? :D


	15. The Journey Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hyunwoo needed to find him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> brace yourself. a long narration. again. enjoy!

Tuesday was here. Kihyun woke up late with his bloating face. It really was uncomfortable.

_Yeah, whatever. I don’t have any schedule._

He got up lazily, scrambling here and there to his bathroom, got ready for today’s drive. Looking himself on the mirror, bird’s nest hair, red eyes and puffy cheeks, Kihyun grunted. It was worse than the image in his head, better got everything done fast.

Then he walked into his closet. He pulled up a duffel bag and filled them with his clothes because he wouldn’t go home for the next few days. Few t-shirts, yes white ones, pants, and coats. He put them in rather mindlessly, as long as they could fit inside. He brought along his camera, guess it didn’t hurt to add another item. Who knew there would be quite a view he could capture. And maybe his camera would be a friend to him, the one who accompanied his little journey.

Kihyun drove his car to a hotel near Wolmido and checked into a room he had booked earlier. The room was nice, spacious and cozy with a king bed and long sofa right beside it. It also had a little work space in the corner which he gladly said he didn’t need it for his one-night stay here. The bathroom had a bathtub, he put a mental note to have a nice hot water in the tub later and in the morning. Kihyun sighed since he forgot his aromateuraphic oil, he might buy it on his way back.

The room had a balcony with a sea view. Curious about the view, he opened the sliding door. Cold breeze welcomed him. Walking closer to the railing, he could see a beautiful sight of the sea and also the ferris wheel of an amusement park nearby, his fourth place to visit. Kihyun grabbed his camera which hung on his shoulder and snapped a few pictures then looked satisfied with his works. He inhaled deeply while looking around to record the view for one more time, then he took his leave.

Kihyun walked on the paved road, close to fence along the sea line. Each step he took was reminding him again at that time, back then before his debut but after the “quarrel” in the park, when he held a welcoming party for Kyungsoo since he had passed the SM Audition. Kihyun wanted to introduced Kyungsoo to his group of friends in hope they would be getting along. Who knew, they might be debut in the same group. On that day too, Kihyun first introduced Hyunwoo to his friends, Kyungsoo, Minhyuk, Hyungwon, and Jongin.

Kihyun smiled widely to himself while kept snapping pictures of every pretty things he saw. He remembered his and Hyunwoo’s flushed face because the kids would never stop teasing them. Hyunwoo would only grinned, Kihyun was the one who kept telling the to stop, with a little threat that he would never cooked for them again. That was effectively shut their mouth. Then, a fun day at the park started.

They got on each and every game were there. The viking was a memorable one. They put a bet that the one who speaked, shrieked, or yelled should bought ice cream for all. Kihyun practiced his straight face mode on with Hyunwoo, getting a small laugh from the later. He said Kihyun’s face suited more with a smile than a frown, Kihyun swatted his arm lightly. But in the end, everybody lost. Too thrilled to shut up. Too scary to put a straight face. They bought the ice cream themselves.

Kihyun came to the ice cream store and ordered double scoop, both were mint chococolate ice creams. When he was a trainee, he could only afford one scoop, he wanted more now. The part time worker behind a cashier gave him a look but he only smiled, saying he was craving for sweets. It was in winter, he knew that. For the sake of memory, the cold could just be damned. Actually no, he was not that careless. He just hoping that a hot bath later could prevent him getting a cold. Kihyun aimed his lense to his cup of ice cream and took another picture. He put a spoonfull of it in his mouth, giggling, thinking that he could be this crazy and fearless.

He didn’t take any rides, only observed them from a close distance. Going past the Viking, he met the ferris wheel. He stopped in his track and took a good look on it. Oh, how he loved this calm ride and the story he had inside the capsule. It could take up to 4 persons. Minhyuk grinned from ear to ear, announcing that Kyungsoo, Minhyuk, Hyungwon and Jongin rode in one car and the couple would ride another one. Kihyun and Hyunwoo was surprised but didn’t against the idea. They took the first car followed by the group.

That time, Kihyun excitedly sat down and took a look around, blown by the beautiful scenery up there. In front of him, Hyunwoo had a better view, that was Kihyun non stop babbling and his twinkling eyes. Those dimples on his cheeks appeared because he was smiling too wide. The scenery was long forgotten, didn’t matter than the smile Kihyun sporting. Caught Hyunwoo was staring at him, Kihyun shifted awkwardly. And with one permission slipped from his mouth, Hyunwoo kissed him again. Unhurriedly, deeply. They could not stop smiling.

Kihyun touched his lips, the kiss that time tasted like a mixed of mint chococolate and chocolate ice cream they had before. Sweet and melted in his mouth. Kihyun smiled again.

_It was indeed so sweet, hmm?_

Putting away the empty cup, he turned his back and strolled towards the beach.

There were only few people on the beach, they were staring at the horizon and having a chatting with each other. Kihyun walked towards a spot a little farther. They were here playing a ladder games just for fun to choose what menu they would have for dinner after their play time. Thinking out of the box seemed like Kihyun specialty since he would still choose chicken out of all so many seafood were there. And to his luck, he won the game. Minhyuk acted fast, he drop kicked Kihyun. The later didn’t care as long as he could eat his chicken, laughing wholeheartedly.

Kihyun searched around him, looking if there was any interesting object for his photo hunting session. None was really pulled him to take another shot. He decided to end his exploration on the beach and chose to eat the chicken he craving for. He shut his camera off and put the lid to cover his lense, leisurely walked to the chicken restaurant he had known before.

Kihyun took a window seat on the corner of the room. Without seeing the menu, he quickly ordered the seasoned chicken with mozarella cheese and soda, the same one he had years ago. It would be perfect with a beer, but he saved it for later. The food arrived so soon, he could shed happy tears. Humming contently, he ate everything in a flash. Might be because of it’s so tasty or that he was that hungry.

The tour around the amusement park continue, he was searching for a convenience store to buy items he needed to spend in the hotel room. Beers, snacks and if he was lucky, he might find the scent oil for his bath. There was a store located near his hotel, he went there straight. Satisfied with sight seeing agenda, Kihyun was thinking that soaking in the hot tub was a good idea, a really good one. He wanted it like immediately. He found the beers and some snacks, but unlucky of him, he couldn’t find the oil. Kihyun pouted at such an unfortunate event. He shrugged, the day would still be perfect even without few drops of favorite lavender scent.

Right after his arrival in his room, he stormed to the bathroom, still with a plastic bag in his hand, and opened the tap to fill the tub. The temperature sure had to be super hot so he could stay longer with a warmer water. He bent down and reached the flowing water to check if the heater was working, thankfully it was. Nodded slightly, he got up and went outside. He put the beers and snacks in the fridge.

While was waiting the tub filled, he checked his camera shots. As predicted, he caught great pictures despite a long absent of not operating it. He was contemplating whether he should open a new exhibition again this year, he collected enough pictures to do one. WithYoo would be delighted, he thought. Ah, that was if they would still love him after that night. Kihyun sighed, he had not seen or watch any news in case there was one page about him. Still had not gathered enough courage to face them. He knew he could not hide, but not now. Things were already messy, he had to take a breather, cleaned up his mind to take another step ahead.

At the moment, what he could do was enjoying a nice hot bath. The tub should have been full enough by now, Kihyun got up and went to the bathroom. He spent more or less half an hour, soaked his body and relaxed his muscles. Being a busy person himself, he would always complained how tired he was. But doing nothing turned out to have the same results. While in the tub, he arranged his schedule for the next morning, first he would run on a treadmill in the hotel gym then have breakfast in the restaurant. The next list would only sprawling on the bed while waiting to check out from hotel. Then driving to the next location.

After the pleasant bath, Kihyun who wrapped in bath gown walked to the fridge and took a can out, while his free hand was drying his hair. He opened and sipped loudly, it was refreshing to be hydrated, even better with a beer. He glanced at the balcony, the sun was setting down on the horizon. He could not miss this. Kihyun grabbed his camera, swiftly ran and slid the door open. He shivered since he was only wearing a robe, but still successfully took nice pictures of the sunset. He smiled proudly at his work. That stood for a moment before a cold breeze came to him then he dashed into the room and close the door tightly. He quickly cancelled the plan to drink in the balcony, it was too cold.

Kihyun took his abandoned beer and continue his drink. He stood behind the glass door and kept watching until the sun was gone.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Wednesday now.

Kihyun woke up early and exercised, just like his plan and his routine. Usually after running he would go for another round of planks and lift some weights, but the run was exhausting enough. He chose to end it early. Or maybe he was too curious about the breakfast he couldn’t wait any longer. Kihyun cleaned up in quite a short time. Jogging his way to the restaurant, he was like a kid getting a candy. He checked all the stations, from the bread, the salad, the fruits, the cereal, the beverages, he wanted them all. Kihyun ordered a half cooked omelette before getting a plate to place sausages and bacon stripes then set them on a table. Took another plate for salad, another one for toasts and pastries then put them on his reserved table. Again, he looked for fruits and contemplating whether he should have taken the pudding with him but he would be too full so he took beverages instead, apple juice. By the time he reached the table, the waiter brought his omelette.

Kihyun started his feast with fruits, then caesar salad. He chuckled, that one time he saw a behind the promotion week video showing Hyunwoo ate salad with his hand. It was unsanitary and Kihyun was itchy to scold him but of course Hyunwoo was forgiven just because he was too cute when he eating. Next would be the proteins and the toasts, then for the desserts, he had sweets, chocolate danish and chocolate cake. If Hyunwoo was with him, he would take at least two each since they were so small in size. He would probably sneaked some in his pocket since they were delicious and Kihyun would voluntarily became his partner in crime. If only.

What a painful words, if only.

Done with his breakfast, he went up to his room to take a shower and proceeded the next list, do nothing on bed. He had done showering, felt fresh, the bed was comfortable, his stomach was full, thus he got sleepy. Such a lovely feeling. To fight his heavy lids, he tossed around the bed, left and right, rolled around, but eventually felt bored. Laid facing the ceiling, Kihyun took breaths slowly, inhaled exhaled. He let his eyes closed for a moment.

Kihyun didn’t know he had fallen asleep until the phone rang. It was a call from receptionist who asked whether he wanted to extended his stay or not and also reminded him that check out was scheduled the latest 12 PM. He answered politely that he would be checking out before mid noon. He finally looked at the phone which showed the clock 11.25. He slept for a good two hours. Kihyun chuckled and packed up his stuffs. He exited the lobby after checking out and jogged to his car.

Today’s destination was Hyunwoo’s parents’ house. He missed going here. It didn’t matter whether he went here by himself or Hyunwoo tagged him along. 

Kihyun drove the apartment complex parking lot and found an empty spot almost immediately. He stayed in the car in the parking lot and only watching people come and by in front of him through the tinted glass. Unfastening his seat belt, he reached back seat and took the chips bag and chocolate bar, the snacks he still had left. Before he opened the bag, his eyes caught on a bungeoppang stall. He obviously liked the fish bread more than the chips he had. Glad that he had cash in his wallet, he went outside and bought some for him, both custard and red bean filling. He jogged back to his car careful not to slip because of the snow. Back in the car, he put the heater on then grab a bread. Blew some in attempt to cool it down faster. Kihyun was impatient, he quickly bit the tail, the one reason that made Hyungwon gave him a judging eyes. He thought it should be eaten from the head first. Kihyun and Hyungwon obviously loved and cared for each other so much even though they would denied rather firmly but for some things, they just didn’t match.

Yep, too hot. His tongue burnt, but at least the bread was delicious. Humming in contentment, he continued to finish them all. The ahjussi put a large amount of filling, he was so thankful of him, silently prayed that they would be selling well. Reaching for another piece of bread, the silent movie played again in his damn head. How Hyunwoo’s Mom and Dad warmly welcomed him into their house, how they gave their blessing to them, how they cared for him just like their own son. Kihyun gladly spent more time with them, with or without Hyunwoo. Hyunwoo was the only child, that’s why Kihyun often visited them in his spare time so that they didn’t feel lonely. He usually bringing the grocery with him and cooked for them. He liked to chat and laugh together, they were really easy to be with, very much like Hyunwoo.

The fish breads were always served in winter when he visited. When he didn’t call beforehand and surprised them, Dad will stormed outside to buy for him. One time, he was in hurry that he forgot to wear the gloves, resulting got a mild cold soon after. Another time, when they celebrate Kihyun’s birthday, Mom would cook the seaweed soup, while Dad would get him a fish bread voucher for a whole month.

Kihyun felt chest grew warmer by the thought of both of Hyunwoo’s parents. They treated him so well and he wanted to return the favor to them multiple times. Hopefully, he had done a great job until now. Before having a third bread, he was distracted by a familiar figure walking in front of his car.

Hyunwoo’s mom.

It was like she walked in a slow motion or it was his brain that messed up even more, but that what he was seeing. Oh, how Kihyun wanted to greet and hug her. He missed her just as much as he missed his own mom. She looked older, much older than he remembered. When was the last time he visit her? It should have been not that long since their last met, but why did she change that much? Had she eaten well, why was her cheeks were getting hollow? Or, was she ill? He could only hope that she diligently took the vitamins he bought for her. He said the prayer also for Hyunwoo’s Dad, hoping for their well being.

Or, was it because she know that they’d broken up? That she was thinking too much about her sons that made her exhausted? What would she said to Kihyun. Would she shout and resent him because he couldn’t keep his promise to take a good care of her son?

No, it was too hard. He could not hold any longer, it was too painful.

“Kihyunnie’s sorry, Mom”

Kihyun bursted into tears, he clunched his chest tightly cursing himself. He promised to be tough and go through this, that only lasted for few days.

It took few minutes before he could regain his composure. He indeed was tough, he eventually stopped crying. Still hiccupping lightly, he wiped the tears on his wet cheeks. He did break his promise not to cry, but that didn’t stop him. He knew the process would be crushing him into pieces but he determined to fulfill the purpose of this journey.

Bidding a silent goodbye, he drove to his once very comfortable cave, his first dorm.

When he reached the place, Kihyun took everything from the car and made sure he didn’t left anything, specifically, the fish breads. He could put them in a microwave then had them for dinner and might left another for breakfast. The place was still like the first time he stayed here, nothing really changed. He sighed in relieved since nobody was using it. When he moved into his now bigger home, it became the sweet escape kind of place for him along with his friends. There would be some days where he or his friends wanted a solitude. If they, who mostly were group members live together in a dorm, needed some space away from other, they would come here and spent some time alone. Kihyun shared the passcode with them.

He put everything he brought on the dining room table and threw himself on the bed. Glad he had maid to help him clean the house. He could come anytime and the room would still be spotless. He was tired emotionally that also led to tired physically. He had taken a nap in the hotel which was only few hours prior but his eyes were heavy, blamed it on the waterworks.

Kihyun got up, he felt like he needed to do something other than laying on bed all day. His eyes found an item he avoided these days. He walked closer, grabbed the remote and bravely switched the TV on. The news about him might be died down right now, he should have had no morries. Pressing the remote button, he searched for anything he found interesting. In one channel there was a back to back episode for Kyungsoo’s drama that had just ended around a month ago. Nice. He approached the kitchen in light steps, checking in the fridge if there any drinks. His smile widened when he found the fridge was loaded. There was a written note inside.

_Get drunk or whatever. Spiritually, I’m here._

_\- Soo -_

Kihyun chuckled. Kyungsoo was really something, he was indeed his bestest friend. Ah, so it made sense that nobody using the house. Kyungsoo might had been banning and shooing everyone for coming here, in case Kihyun in a sudden wanted to use it. He also prepared cup ramyuns in the cupboard, raw chickens, hams, sausages, meatball, any kind of meat in the freezer enough for a week. He probably thought that Kihyun would spend a whole week here, even after Kihyun told him that he wanted to go travelling. Other people might be thinking that he went far, like Busan or Jeju, but Kyungsoo easily predicted he’d spend here. And he was absolutely right. Bingo.

Kihyun was touched. Kyungsoo prepared all of these even while he was busy with album promotions. Doing all of this, it was like Kyungsoo assured him that he was not alone. Just as he written down on the note, he was here spiritually.

_I’ll cook something for you when I’m done, Soo._

He got a permission to get drunk, but he wanted to enjoy staying here being sober and had a drama to watch, enough reason to limit his drink. Grinning widely, Kihyun took a can and bunch of snacks on the table then went towards the couch in front of TV, excited to start the impromptu movie marathon. He was too engrossed with the drama, he was laughing, shrieking, and even nagging the antagonist. The plot was good, not too heavy for him, Kyungsoo and the casts did a great job, and it was funny, overall he did enjoy every second of it despite already watching them multiple times. It was indeed entertaining drama.

Well, a very much needed distraction, at least he could forgot for a moment.

All was well until Kihyun spilled his drink onto his lap. Hissing at the cold and sticky liquid on his thigh, also because he needed to change and miss a funny part of the drama, he walked to his closet and looked for a towel. How he hated this, he couldn’t reach the top shelf where the towels were located. There was no Hyunwoo to help him. Who in the hell moved them there? He dragged small stool and stepped on it. When he reached out his hand to take the towel, his fingers touched something firm like a cardboard. A box, he was wondering. Out of curiosity, he took out the thing. Kihyun was right it was a box, blue color, a pretty one wrapped with a baby blue ribbon on it.

_Can’t be, right?_

Kihyun stepped down from the stool. He put the box on the coffee table while he changed his damped pants. Later on, he went back to the couch and sat down. His trembling hands reached the box and slowly pulled up the lids. He couldn’t believe his eyes.

_Happy birthday, Love_

_Thank you for stubbornly stay by my side. Thank you for your unwavering faith in me and in us. Thank you for making me falling in love with you over and over again._

_Let the mini me always be with you, close to your heart. He’ll fight all the sadness and only bring you happiness. You can only say yes._

_Yours._

He stared blankly at the note and his present. A beautiful white gold necklace with a bear shaped pendant. He read the writing again.

_Yours, you said? Are not._

Kihyun smiled sadly. He put the necklace around his neck. Clipped it safely. Then caressed the bear shaped pendant.

_Hyunwoo. Son Hyunwoo. My Hyunwoo._

A tear escaped his eyes, followed by others. His shoulders were shaking uncontrollably. 

“I can’t anymore. FUCKING HELL!”

Kihyun took his keys and stormed out the door.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Hyunwoo was sitting on his sofa in the living room dorm, watching whatever the TV showed him. His mind clearly was not on the reality show shown but elsewhere. He was deep in thought, he felt like he forgot something important, but he could not recall what it was. Where should he pick his memory from first?

So, he started with things he had done today. Nothing remarkable really. He got up at 6 as usual when they had promotions then got prepare to go to the salon. Their group had to do a recording for a music show, then fulfilled an invitation to one radio show, then went back to the studio to shoot an ending stage, then lastly, they would have a fansign event later in the evening. Per usual, nothing special.

The special thing usually involved everyone around him, the ones who were close with him. The members, the staffs, the managers? What about them? Or perhaps, did he forget to attend an important meeting? Ey, his schedule was packed, and his manager would remind him all day if there really was a meeting. His thought was come in halt because of the ping sound from his phone. A message came.

_From: Mom_

_Son, what time will you and Kihyun come over tomorrow? I’ve prepared the seaweed soup. The fish breads will be delivered around 4PM. Make sure you’ve arrived before that, okay?_

He was taken aback.

_The bear! Shit!_

Hyunwoo quickly pulled his manager out from his comfy room. Despite of his constant grumbles, his manager drove him fast enough to Kihyun’s dorm. He opened the door when it had not completely stopped in front of the building and ran inside. He motioned his manager to just wait for him there.

The door was ajar, there was a pebble on the floor that hold the door opened. Hyunwoo had a bad feeling for this. Who clumsily left the door opened?

Hyunwoo carefully stepped inside, trying his best not to make any sound. When he fully inside the room, he took a look around, there was no one in sight. The bathroom’s lamp was also turned off. Nobody inside. But he spotted the bag on the table, he knew it was Kihyun’s, bag of chips and cans of beer in the living room area and the already opened gift, Kihyun’s birthday present. The note was still there the necklace was gone. His heart was racing dangerously.

Hyunwoo needed to find him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> few hours before a week. I didn't break my promise, I'm proud :")
> 
> thank you for reading and liking it! have a good morning, afternoon and night!
> 
> comments and kudos are very appreciated!  
> let me know what you think ^^

**Author's Note:**

> So, what do you think? I'm so thankful for the many comments and kudos. Thank you..


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